You want to make a good impression on a first date, but you also don’t want to reveal too much too soon — it’s a tough balance to strike.
Oversharing can be a major turn-off because it makes the other person feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. But how much is too much, and what topics should you steer clear of? Here’s what you need to know when you go out with someone new.
1. Hold back on your deepest secrets.
Source: Unsplash While it’s great to be open and honest, resist the urge to spill your deepest secrets on a first date. It’s not the right time to discuss your childhood trauma, your complicated family dynamics, or your recent breakup. These topics are heavy and can create an atmosphere of intimacy that’s premature for a first encounter. Save those conversations for when you’ve built a stronger connection with the person.
2. Avoid excessive complaining.
Everyone has bad days and things to complain about, but a first date isn’t the time to vent about your job, your landlord, or your ex. Too much negativity can be a real downer and make you seem pessimistic or difficult to please. Instead, try to focus on positive topics and show your date that you’re capable of enjoying life and finding the silver lining in challenging situations.
3. Be mindful of your ex talk.
Source: Unsplash Talking about your ex, especially in a negative light, can be a major red flag on a first date. It suggests you’re not over your past relationship and might still be carrying baggage. If your date asks about your ex, keep your answers brief and neutral. Focus on the present and the future, not on rehashing old wounds.
4. Steer clear of controversial topics.
Politics, religion, and other hot-button issues can be divisive and lead to heated debates. While it’s important to have shared values, a first date isn’t the best time to delve into these complex topics. Stick to lighter subjects that allow you to get to know each other without risking a major disagreement or uncomfortable tension.
5. Don’t dominate the conversation.
A first date is about getting to know each other, not about showcasing your own accomplishments or opinions. Be mindful of how much you’re talking and make sure you’re giving your date a chance to share their thoughts and experiences. Ask questions, listen actively, and show genuine interest in what they have to say.
6. Watch your alcohol intake.
Source: Unsplash While a drink or two can help loosen you up, be careful not to overdo it. Alcohol can lower your inhibitions and make you more likely to overshare or say things you might regret later. Stick to a reasonable limit and stay hydrated to ensure you’re in control of your words and actions.
7. Resist the urge to brag.
While it’s natural to want to impress your date, avoid excessive bragging or self-promotion. Talking too much about your achievements, possessions, or social status can come across as arrogant or insecure. Let your personality and accomplishments shine through naturally, without feeling the need to constantly highlight them.
8. Don’t pry into their personal life.
It’s important to show interest in your date, but avoid asking overly personal or intrusive questions. Topics like their finances, family problems, or health issues are off-limits for a first date. Stick to general questions about their interests, hobbies, and aspirations, and let them share more personal details at their own pace.
9. Avoid making assumptions or stereotypes.
Don’t jump to conclusions about your date’s beliefs, values, or lifestyle based on limited information or stereotypes. Keep an open mind and be willing to learn more about them as the conversation unfolds.
10. Trust your gut feeling.
If something feels off or uncomfortable during the date, don’t ignore your instincts. Trust your gut and politely excuse yourself if you feel the need to leave. The most important thing is your safety and well-being, so don’t hesitate to prioritise them over social etiquette.
