Sometimes, without even realising it, we’re the ones standing in the way of our own happiness.
Whether it’s through unkind self-talk, holding onto the wrong people, or avoiding necessary changes, these habits quietly chip away at our mental and emotional health. If you’re doing any of these things, you’re breaking your own heart little by little on a daily basis. It doesn’t have to be that way — you deserve so much more.
1. You settle for less than you deserve.
Staying in situations that don’t truly make you happy—whether it’s a job, friendship, or relationship—can leave you feeling unfulfilled. When you settle, you tell yourself that you’re not worthy of more, which slowly gnaws away at your self-esteem. Believing in your own worth is the first step to letting go of what no longer serves you.
2. You keep holding onto the past.
Clinging to old mistakes, missed opportunities, or relationships that have ended keeps you trapped in a loop of regret. While reflecting on the past can help you learn, living there prevents you from moving forward. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting—it means freeing yourself to embrace what’s ahead.
3. You ignore red flags.
Whether in friendships, relationships, or other areas of life, brushing off warning signs often leads to more pain down the road. Ignoring red flags might feel easier in the moment, but it sets you up for heartbreak later. Trusting your instincts and setting boundaries can save you from unnecessary hurt.
4. You constantly compare yourself to other people.
Measuring your worth against someone else’s achievements, appearance, or lifestyle only fuels feelings of inadequacy. Comparison robs you of joy and blinds you to your own unique qualities. Focusing on your personal growth instead of other people’s highlights can help you appreciate how far you’ve come.
5. You don’t prioritise your own needs.
Putting everyone else first may seem noble, but it often leads to burnout and resentment. Neglecting your own well-being for the sake of everyone else sends the message that your needs don’t matter. Making time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for your mental and emotional health.
6. You stay in toxic relationships.
Remaining in relationships that drain you emotionally, mentally, or physically can leave lasting scars. Whether it’s fear of being alone or hope that things will change, staying in a harmful dynamic only prolongs the pain. Walking away can be difficult, but it’s a powerful act of self-love.
7. You’re too hard on yourself.
Constant self-criticism and perfectionism can wear you down over time. When you only focus on your flaws or mistakes, you break your own heart by denying yourself kindness and compassion. Treating yourself like you would a good friend can help you build a healthier, more forgiving inner dialogue.
8. You avoid taking risks.
Fear of failure or rejection often keeps people stuck in their comfort zones. While playing it safe might feel secure, it also prevents you from experiencing growth and joy. Taking small steps toward new challenges can help you embrace life more fully and reduce feelings of regret.
9. You rely too much on external validation.
Looking for approval from anyone who will give it to you to feel good about yourself leaves your happiness in someone else’s hands. The constant need for validation can make you feel unworthy when it’s not given. Learning to value your own opinion and accomplishments can help you feel more confident and secure.
10. You avoid addressing your emotions.
Burying your feelings instead of processing them often leads to unresolved pain that resurfaces later. Ignoring emotions might seem easier, but it ultimately creates a cycle of frustration and sadness. Allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions is key to healing and moving forward.
