Pubs are like mini universes full of characters, each with their own quirks and rituals (and not all of them good ones).
No matter where you go, whether it’s your local or the Wetherspoon’s down the town, there are certain types of people you’re bound to run into. See how many of these you recognise — chances are, it’ll be more than a few.
1. The bartender’s best mate
Somehow, they’re on first-name terms with every staff member and get served before anyone else, even in a packed crowd. They’ll nod knowingly at the bartenders and chat about the pub’s history like they’re part of the family. This is their turf, and they’re happy to tell you all about the best pint on tap (and maybe the pub gossip too).
2. The “one pint too many” guy
He comes in with the best of intentions, swearing he’ll “just have a quick one” before heading home. Fast-forward three hours, and he’s deep in conversation with strangers, slurring out some philosophical gems no one asked for. By the end of the night, he’s a bit of a legend and a bit of a liability, but you can’t help but enjoy his enthusiastic company.
3. The pub quiz pro
Armed with random knowledge and a deep sense of pub quiz pride, this person lives for the weekly trivia night. They’ll confidently rattle off obscure facts about the Roman Empire or bird species in New Zealand, making everyone else feel mildly inadequate. But hey, they’re handy to have around if you want to actually win a round now and then.
4. The table dancer
Every pub has one. The music gets going, the energy’s high, and suddenly, there they are—dancing on a table like they’re on the main stage at Glastonbury. They might be spilling a drink or two in the process, but the vibe is infectious. You know they’ll be feeling it in the morning, but for now, they’re living their best life.
5. The person glued to their phone
Even in a room full of people, they’re off in their own digital world, scrolling away like it’s their job. You might catch them taking the occasional selfie with a pint or “checking in” on social media, but that’s about it. They’ll probably have the most well-documented night out, even if they didn’t actually look up the whole time.
6. The karaoke enthusiast
As soon as the karaoke machine’s on, this person is up there, ready to give it their all. They might not have the best voice, but they’re committed, and that’s what counts. Whether it’s a classic rock anthem or a heartfelt ballad, they’ll belt it out like their life depends on it, and everyone else just has to sit back and enjoy the show.
7. The guy who’s “just here for the food”
He’s clutching a burger with a level of focus usually reserved for fine dining. While everyone else is on round three, he’s still dissecting the pub’s fish and chips like it’s a culinary masterpiece. He might wander over to socialise for a minute, but let’s be real—the food is the main attraction here.
8. The “I swear I’m not drunk” friend
Even though they’re clearly several drinks in, they’re adamant they’re stone-cold sober and could totally drive if they wanted to (not that anyone’s letting that happen). They’ll insist they’re perfectly fine while tripping over a stool or giving a slightly wobbly toast. It’s endearing, really, and all part of the fun.
9. The group on a pub crawl
Loud, energetic, and usually dressed in matching t-shirts or some odd theme, these folks are here for a good time, not a long time. They’ll be making friends (or enemies) with every table, snapping endless selfies, and generally spreading a bit of chaos. They’re hard to miss and bring a party vibe wherever they go, if only for one drink.
10. The overly friendly regular
This is the person who’s been coming to the same pub for years and feels it’s their duty to welcome you personally. They’ll offer endless anecdotes, ask you a few too many personal questions, and might even buy you a drink. Whether you love or dread the chat, they’re part of the charm, and by the end, you’ll probably know their life story.
11. The one on the mic for an “important” announcement
It’s usually a birthday, an engagement, or maybe just a random thought, but this person feels everyone in the pub needs to know. They’ll grab the mic, clear their throat, and the whole place will (usually) fall into a polite silence. It’s often a bit awkward, but hey, it’s a classic pub moment that gets everyone laughing or cheering along.
12. The accidental napper
They came out with every intention of staying up until the early hours, but somewhere between drink two and three, the sleepiness kicked in. Now they’re slouched in the corner, head bobbing, clearly halfway to dreamland. Nobody blames them—sometimes a good pub session just takes it out of you.
