Britain has always had an odd fascination with American culture, but in recent years, we’ve started full-on copying things that just don’t fit.
It’s like we’re slowly trying to turn the UK into some budget version of the USA, even when we have perfectly good traditions of our own (and America seems to be on the cusp of turning into a full-blown oligarchy). These are the cringiest, most unnecessary ways this country is trying (and failing) to be more American. Most of these are pretty harmless, admittedly, but it doesn’t make them any less annoying.
1. Calling university ‘college’ like we go to Harvard
Somewhere along the line, people started referring to uni as ‘college’ like they’re starring in a Netflix teen drama. Sorry, but you’re not at Yale — you’re at Leeds Beckett doing a business management degree. We don’t have ‘freshman’ and ‘sophomore’ years, and nobody needs to be wearing a varsity jacket unless they’re actually playing sport. British unis don’t even have that ‘rah rah’ culture, so let’s stop pretending every campus is secretly Oxford Brookes trying to be Princeton.
2. Acting like we have ‘the suburbs’
British people saying they ‘grew up in the suburbs’ need to relax. The UK doesn’t do suburbs the way America does. You didn’t grow up in some tree-lined estate with a cul-de-sac where kids played basketball in the driveways; you lived in a new-build housing development outside Swindon. Suburbs in America mean giant houses with picket fences and cars in every driveway. In Britain, it means semi-detached houses, a corner shop that closes at 9 p.m., and a dodgy underpass that feels very unsafe after dark. That has its own charm; we don’t need to adopt another country’s.
3. Giving kids “timeouts” instead of just telling them off
British parenting used to be about a firm “Stop acting like a prat” and a death stare across the dinner table. Now, we’ve got mums putting their kids on timeouts like we’re all living in an episode of “Supernanny.” We don’t do timeouts; we do “Go upstairs and think about what you’ve done,” followed by an awkward sulk while you listen to the “EastEnders” theme tune from your bedroom.
4. People hosting Christmas like it’s a Hallmark movie
Christmas in Britain used to be simple: your nan made too many sprouts, someone got too drunk, and the whole family crammed into a house that was too small. Now, people are acting like they’re hosting a Kardashian Christmas, complete with matching pyjamas, Christmas Eve boxes, and 45 different types of side dishes. We don’t need a Christmas tablescape with gold-rimmed plates. We need paper hats, a dry turkey, and a Boxing Day argument over who gets the last sausage roll.
5. Wedding culture going full American bridezilla
Weddings used to be about a nice ceremony, a buffet with prawn cocktail starters, and your auntie embarrassing herself to “Dancing Queen.” Now, people are hiring bridesmaids proposal boxes, having engagement shoots, and doing “first looks” like they’re starring in “Say Yes to the Dress.” It’s getting out of hand. We don’t need a three-day wedding itinerary. Just book a decent pub, play some “Sweet Caroline,” and let’s call it a day.
6. Acting like brunch is a personality
Brunch in the UK used to mean a full English at a greasy spoon. Now, every influencer is acting like bottomless brunch is a lifestyle choice. Posting an Instagram story with “Brunch with the girls 💕🍹” while drinking overpriced prosecco at 11 a.m. doesn’t make you Carrie Bradshaw; it makes you skint before payday. Also, let’s be real — half of these places don’t even get the basics right. We’re out here paying £14 for avocado toast on stale sourdough while pretending we’re in New York. Bring back a decent fry-up with a builder’s tea.
7. Treating school prom like a red carpet event
Prom in Britain used to be a budget school disco with Poundland decorations and some dodgy pizzas from Asda. Now, we’ve got kids arriving in rented Lamborghinis, wearing custom-made suits, and doing “promposals” like they’re in an American rom-com. You don’t need a limo for a Year 11 school hall event where the highlight is a lukewarm buffet and a DJ playing “Mr Brightside” three times in a row. It’s not prom; it’s a glorified end-of-term party.
8. Having gender reveal parties (with actual explosions)
Nothing screams “trying too hard to be American” like a gender reveal party where someone sets fire to a field. We don’t need blue or pink smoke bombs in a back garden in Croydon. British people used to just say, “Oh yeah, we’re having a boy,” and carry on with their lives. Now, we’ve got people cutting into cakes, setting off fireworks, and releasing balloons like it’s a mandatory event. Let’s stop pretending we need this.
9. Acting like every season is a lifestyle
Americans love to romanticise every season, but now British influencers are doing it too. “Hot girl summer,” “pumpkin spice autumn,” “cosy winter vibes” — it’s as if we don’t just get three months of rain and disappointment. The reality? Summer in Britain is three days of unexpected heatwave followed by constant drizzle, autumn means wet leaves and traffic delays, and winter is just darkness at 4 p.m. and people moaning about their heating bills. Let’s be real.
10. The weird obsession with “self-care Sundays”
Self-care is important, but Britain has turned it into a personality trait. Posting a picture of a Lush bath bomb, a candle, and a face mask isn’t self-care — it’s just having a bath. Self-care in the UK should be what it’s always been: moaning about the weather, eating a massive roast dinner, and falling asleep on the sofa while “Countryfile” is on in the background.
11. Putting ice in every drink
British pubs have started copying America’s obsession with ice, and it’s getting ridiculous. We never used to get more ice than drink, but now you order a Coke, and it’s 90% frozen water. Nobody in Britain needs 14 ice cubes in their pint glass. We like our drinks cold, but not at the cost of actually getting something to drink.
13. Acting like everything needs to be a “side hustle”
Britain has borrowed America’s obsession with “grind culture” and it’s exhausting. Now, if you have a hobby, people start asking, “Have you thought about monetising it?” No, sometimes a hobby is just a hobby. Not everything needs to be turned into a business. Let’s bring back doing things for fun instead of feeling like we need to start an Etsy shop for every minor interest.
