Most people don’t get through life without at least a few offbeat, draining, or downright confusing relationships.
Romantic or not, these connections usually teach us something, even if it’s just what we’ll never tolerate again. And while yes, every person and situation is unique and special in its own way, certain types of relationships are common pretty much across the board, no matter what walk of life you come from. See how many of these you can check off your list.
1. The one where you’re doing all the work
This is the relationship where you’re planning everything, texting first, keeping the energy up, and basically dragging it forward like a broken suitcase. They rarely initiate, but they’re happy to coast along while you do all the emotional heavy lifting. It doesn’t always end in a dramatic fallout—it just fizzles when you realise it feels more like a task list than a bond. And once you stop trying, the silence says it all.
2. The on-again-off-again circus
Passionate one minute, ice-cold the next. This is the one that keeps ending… and then magically starts again every time someone gets lonely or nostalgic. It feels dramatic and addictive, but rarely goes anywhere real. Eventually, you realise the highs aren’t worth the emotional whiplash. It’s not love—it’s habit. Sadly, the comfort of familiarity can’t make up for the lack of consistency.
3. The one where you’re constantly proving your worth
You spend more time trying to impress them than actually being yourself. There’s always a quiet pressure to earn their attention, affection, or approval, as if it’s conditional on your performance. It might not be outright cruel, but it leaves you feeling like you’re on trial. And the more you try to be “good enough,” the more hollow it all starts to feel.
4. The overly intense friendship that burns out fast
You meet, click instantly, and suddenly, you’re inseparable. Texts at all hours, deep chats about life, non-stop plans. It feels incredible… until it doesn’t. Something changes, and it crashes just as quickly as it started. These friendships can feel like emotional sugar rushes—intense, validating, and then weirdly draining. And while they’re hard to let go of, they often teach you that healthy connections need time to settle, not just spark.
5. The one who made everything about them
Whether it’s a bad day, a good day, or no day at all—they’ll find a way to make it about themselves. Conversations get rerouted, your feelings get sidelined, and somehow you’re always playing support act in their personal drama. At first, it might seem like confidence. Later, you realise it’s just self-absorption. When you do finally speak up, they act shocked that you dared to centre yourself for a minute.
6. The friendship that became weirdly competitive
You start off as friends, but somewhere along the way, it turns into a subtle contest. Who’s earning more? Who looks better? Who’s “winning” at life? Everything feels slightly performative, even when it’s disguised as support. It’s not always malicious—but it’s exhausting. Friendship isn’t supposed to feel like a scoreboard. When you realise that wins are met with envy instead of celebration, you start pulling back.
7. The emotionally unavailable one
They’re there, but they’re not really there. You try to get close, but there’s always a wall—jokes, distance, vague excuses. You end up interpreting crumbs as affection and hoping one day they’ll open up. They rarely do, and eventually, you realise you deserve more than half-hearted affection served in small, careful doses. You want real presence, not emotional hide and seek.
8. The one that was based entirely on potential
You didn’t love who they were—you loved who they could be. You saw their ambition, their charm, the flashes of growth. But months (or years) later, nothing’s changed except your level of exhaustion. At some point, you have to stop rooting for a version of them that only exists in your imagination. A relationship can’t survive on future hope alone—it needs to work in the present, too.
9. The one where you felt lonelier with them than without them
It’s a strange kind of ache, being in someone’s company and still feeling isolated. The conversations feel shallow, the energy is off, and even the hugs feel distant. It’s not connection—it’s co-existence. Being alone is hard, but being unseen while in a relationship? That’s harder. Once you feel that contrast, you stop settling for the wrong kind of quiet.
10. The toxic “friend” who secretly enjoyed your lows
They were always there when things went wrong, but not in a comforting way. More like a front-row seat to your misery. They’d offer sympathy with a side of smugness, and you could sense their energy shift when you were doing well. It’s subtle, but unmistakable. Once you realise they thrive more on your chaos than your success, the loyalty begins to crack. Because real friends aren’t quietly rooting for your downfall.
11. The one you stayed in out of guilt
You didn’t want to hurt them. Or you felt like they “needed” you. So you stayed, even when your heart wasn’t in it. You convinced yourself it was kindness, but deep down it was fear and obligation. Eventually, it hits you: staying for someone else while slowly disappearing inside yourself isn’t noble—it’s slow self-erasure. Leaving doesn’t make you cruel. It makes you honest.
12. The one you tried to fix
They were chaotic, inconsistent, maybe even a bit broken. And you thought your love could be the glue that held them together. You gave them grace, time, and endless patience… until you realised you were losing yourself in the process. It’s noble to care, but you can’t be someone’s entire repair team. Love might heal, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own stability.
13. The relationship you outgrew (but kept forcing)
Nothing went “wrong”—you just changed. Grew apart. But you stayed, out of nostalgia or fear of rocking the boat. You kept the conversations going, kept meeting up, but the spark had long since dimmed. These endings can feel sadder than the dramatic ones. But choosing growth over comfort is never something to feel guilty about. Sometimes, letting go is the highest form of respect—for you and for them.
