Anyone who’s in the dating scene today knows that it’s an absolute minefield of ghosting, situationships, and people who can’t seem to communicate properly.
But back in the day, things were slightly different — and a whole lot better. Boomers had dating practices that, while sometimes old-fashioned, actually made relationships more straightforward. If modern dating took a few lessons from the past, it might be a lot less frustrating. Think how much better things would be if we brought back these practices.
1. Actually picking up the phone and calling
Before texting and social media, if you liked someone, you called them. There was no agonising over “read receipts” or waiting hours for a response to a simple question. If you wanted to talk to someone, you picked up the phone, had an actual conversation, and got a real sense of their personality. Today, calling someone can feel like a bold move, but it eliminates so much of the miscommunication that comes with texting. You don’t have to decode short, vague replies or wonder if they’re ignoring you on purpose. Everything is just clearer when you hear someone’s voice.
2. Dressing up for dates
Dating used to mean making an effort. People dressed nicely, put thought into their appearance, and treated a date as something special. Now, it’s not unusual for someone to show up in joggers and a hoodie, acting like they barely care if they’re there. Making an effort doesn’t mean being over the top, but it does show respect. When both people put in a little effort, the date feels more meaningful. It sets a different tone — one where both people take each other seriously rather than treating it like just another casual meet-up.
3. Clear intentions from the start
One of the biggest frustrations in modern dating is the lack of clarity. People go on dates without ever stating what they’re looking for, leaving both sides confused about whether it’s leading somewhere or just casual fun. Boomers didn’t play as many mind games; if they were interested, they made it known. While not every boomer relationship was perfect, there was generally more honesty about intentions. People didn’t waste months guessing where they stood. A little more of that directness in modern dating would save a lot of heartache and wasted time.
4. Actually planning dates, not just “hanging out”
Source: Unsplash Back in the day, dates were actual events. Someone would plan an activity, whether it was dinner, a movie, or even something creative like a picnic. Today, too many dates are just vague plans to “hang out” with no real thought put into them. Putting effort into planning a date shows care and interest. It also makes the experience feel more special and memorable. A proper date, rather than a half-hearted “let’s see what happens,” would go a long way in making modern dating feel more intentional.
5. Fewer options meant more effort
Dating apps have made it easier than ever to meet people, but they’ve also made it easier to treat potential relationships as disposable. Back when options were limited, people made more of an effort to get to know someone, rather than swiping to the next best thing the moment they got bored. Having fewer choices meant that people were more willing to work through small issues rather than immediately moving on. If modern dating slowed down a little and stopped treating connections as replaceable, relationships might be stronger and last longer.
6. Dating wasn’t a competition for who cared less
Today, showing too much interest is often seen as a weakness. People play it cool, wait hours to reply, and act like they don’t care to avoid seeming “too keen.” Boomers didn’t do that — if they liked someone, they showed it. There’s nothing wrong with expressing interest. In fact, it makes dating a lot easier when both people can just be honest about their feelings instead of trying to outplay each other. A little more enthusiasm and a little less emotional detachment would make dating much less exhausting.
7. Commitment wasn’t a scary word
For boomers, relationships weren’t something to fear or avoid for as long as possible. If they found someone they liked, they committed. There wasn’t this modern obsession with “keeping options open” or avoiding labels for months on end. Not every relationship needs to move quickly, but at some point, commitment has to be part of the conversation. If modern dating culture stopped treating relationships as something to delay or escape from, more people would actually find what they’re looking for.
8. Meeting in real life, not just online
Source: Unsplash Before dating apps, people met in real life — at parties, through friends, at work, or just by striking up a conversation. Now, dating is mostly done through screens, which can make connections feel impersonal before they even begin. Meeting in real life has an energy that no app can replicate. There’s no perfect profile photo or carefully curated bio — just two people seeing if there’s a spark. If more people tried meeting organically again, dating might feel more natural and less transactional.
9. Calling it a breakup, not a “slow fade”
When a relationship ended, boomers actually broke up. There was a conversation, closure, and a clear understanding that things were over. Now, people just “fade out,” slowly texting less until one person gets the hint. It’s lazy, disrespectful, and leaves people confused. Ending things properly is tough, but it’s a sign of respect. If modern dating normalised actual breakups again, rather than just ghosting or fading out, people would have a much easier time moving on.
10. Dating was about building something, not just instant gratification
Source: Unsplash Many modern dating habits are based on short-term thinking — what’s fun right now, rather than what could last. Boomers generally approached dating with the mindset of building something, rather than just seeing what’s convenient. Relationships take time, effort, and patience. If modern dating placed more value on long-term compatibility rather than quick excitement, there would probably be fewer situationships and more actual relationships.
11. Relationships weren’t based on texting
Source: Unsplash Modern dating relies so heavily on texting that it’s almost become a replacement for real conversations. Boomers didn’t have that option — they actually talked to each other in person or over the phone. Texting is useful, but it doesn’t replace real connection. If more people prioritised face-to-face interaction over endless text exchanges, dating wouldn’t feel so disconnected.
12. Respecting each other’s time
Source: Unsplash Boomers treated dating with a level of respect that’s often missing today. If they made plans, they showed up. They didn’t cancel last minute, keep people waiting, or leave messages unread for days. Modern dating could benefit from bringing back basic courtesy. Being clear, respectful, and showing up when you say you will isn’t difficult — it’s just decent behaviour.
13. Less focus on social media, more focus on real life
Source: Unsplash Back then, relationships weren’t played out for an audience. People weren’t obsessing over posting the perfect couple photo or checking who liked their partner’s posts. Dating wasn’t about public perception—it was about the actual connection between two people. Modern dating is often influenced by social media, making people more focused on how a relationship looks rather than how it actually feels. If there was less pressure to perform for an audience, dating would be a lot healthier.
14. Accepting imperfections instead of chasing perfection
Source: Unsplash Modern dating culture is obsessed with finding someone who ticks every single box, which often leads to people rejecting perfectly good partners over minor flaws. Boomers didn’t have the endless choice of dating apps, so they worked with what was in front of them and built strong relationships. There’s no such thing as a perfect partner, and expecting perfection only leads to disappointment. If people stopped chasing an idealised version of love and focused more on real connection, dating wouldn’t feel like an endless cycle of unmet expectations.
15. Enjoying the process instead of rushing to the next thing
Source: Unsplash Dating today often feels rushed — people are always looking for the next match, the next date, the next exciting moment. Boomers took their time, enjoyed getting to know someone, and let relationships unfold naturally. Slowing down and actually enjoying the process would make dating much more meaningful. If people stopped treating every interaction as a stepping stone to something “better,” they might actually find something worth keeping.
