Narcissists are master manipulators and egomaniacs, but that’s not all there is to them.
Their everyday behaviours make being around them awkward, annoying, and completely exhausting. If you’re not sure if someone fits the narcissist bill — or at the very least has narcissistic tendencies — you can identify them pretty easily by keeping your eyes peeled for these traits.
1. Making every conversation about themselves
Source: Unsplash No matter what you’re talking about, they’ve got a story that tops yours. If you mention your promotion, they’ll jump in with their own career wins. Share a rough day, and suddenly, their day was even harder. It’s like they’re waiting for any excuse to say, “Oh, that reminds me of when I…” After a while, people stop sharing with them, knowing they’ll just end up sidelined.
2. Constant social media updates
Their Instagram and Facebook feeds never sleep. Every coffee run, gym session, and work meeting gets its own post. They’re glued to their phone, counting likes and waiting for comments. Behind the scenes, they delete anything that doesn’t get enough attention within the first hour.
3. Dismissing others’ feelings
Try sharing your worries or upset with them — you’ll probably hear “You’re being dramatic” or “It’s not that serious.” They brush off others’ feelings as unimportant or excessive. When someone expresses hurt at their behaviour, they turn it around to make themselves the victim. The impact of their dismissiveness often leads to friends and family members stopping to share personal struggles altogether.
4. Taking credit for group efforts
The presentation everyone stayed late working on becomes their masterpiece. The party that took weeks of planning becomes their solo achievement. They collect praise while conveniently forgetting to mention anyone else’s involvement. Over time, colleagues learn to document their contributions and communicate directly with supervisors about their work.
5. Creating drama from minor incidents
The barista spelled their name wrong and all of a sudden, everyone needs to know about this terrible injustice. A delayed response to their message becomes evidence that everyone’s against them. Every minor inconvenience requires immediate attention from everyone around them. The constant state of crisis they create drains the energy from their entire social circle.
6. Expecting special treatment everywhere
Lines and rules apparently don’t apply to them. They genuinely believe they deserve to skip ahead, get special deals, or bend policies their way. Their treatment of service workers reveals their true nature within minutes. The entitlement extends to their workplace, where they expect exceptions to deadlines and policies.
7. Refusing to acknowledge mistakes
Getting them to admit they messed up becomes an impossible task. There’s always a reason why it wasn’t their fault — the traffic, their coworkers, or external circumstances. Their apologies come packed with excuses and justifications. This inability to take responsibility makes it impossible to resolve even minor conflicts.
8. Controlling through criticism
They’ve got opinions about everything — clothes, jobs, lifestyle choices. These digs come wrapped as “helpful advice” but serve to undermine confidence. Their criticism intensifies when others succeed or receive attention. The constant judgment creates an atmosphere where people feel they must seek approval for even minor decisions.
9. Using charm as manipulation
Watch how sweet they become when they want something. The compliments flow freely, and suddenly, you’re their favourite person. Once they get what they want, the charm vanishes completely. Their pattern of switching between warmth and coldness leaves people feeling confused and used.
10. Keeping score in relationships
They never forget that time they helped you move or covered your lunch. Every favour comes with future expectations attached. They stack up their good deeds and remind you of them regularly. The mental ledger they keep makes genuine friendship impossible.
11. Testing boundaries repeatedly
Tell them not to do something, and they’ll do it twice. Set a boundary, and they’ll push against it consistently. Each limit becomes a personal challenge rather than a sign of respect. Their persistent testing eventually exhausts people into giving up their boundaries entirely.
12. Living in their own reality
Facts don’t matter in their world — only their version of events counts. Show them proof they’re wrong, and they’ll still insist they’re right. Their reality remains unshakeable, despite any evidence to the contrary. This dedication to their own narrative makes honest communication nearly impossible.
13. Seeking constant validation
They require endless praise and attention throughout the day. One compliment never satisfies — they’ll fish for more until someone takes the bait. Their confidence crumbles without regular external validation. The exhausting cycle of needing reassurance pushes away even their most patient supporters.
