Every marriage has its ups and downs, but some relationships show early signs of trouble that might hint at deeper issues.
While no one wants to think their marriage might be on shaky ground, recognising these red flags early on can help you address them before they escalate into major problems.
1. You struggle to communicate openly and honestly.

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and marriage is no exception. If you find yourselves constantly arguing, avoiding difficult conversations, or resorting to passive-aggressive behaviour, it might be a sign that you’re not effectively communicating your needs and feelings. Without open and honest communication, it’s difficult to build a strong foundation for a lasting marriage.
2. You constantly criticise and belittle each other.

A little playful teasing can be fun, but if your interactions are filled with criticism, sarcasm, or insults, it can create a toxic environment. Constant negativity can harm your self-esteem and create resentment, making it difficult to feel loved and appreciated in your relationship.
3. You’ve lost interest in spending time together.

Life gets busy, and it’s normal for couples to have less time for each other as responsibilities pile up. However, if you actively avoid spending time together or feel indifferent about your partner’s company, it could be a sign that you’re drifting apart. Quality time is essential for maintaining a strong emotional connection.
4. You no longer feel physically or emotionally attracted to each other.

Physical and emotional intimacy are vital components of a healthy marriage. If you find yourselves rarely touching, kissing, or expressing affection, it could signal a deeper issue. Similarly, if you no longer feel emotionally connected to your partner or feel like you’re living separate lives, it’s important to address these feelings before they lead to further distance.
5. You can’t agree on major life decisions.

Shared values and goals are essential for a successful marriage. If you and your partner have vastly different visions for the future, whether it’s about finances, children, or career aspirations, it can create significant conflict. While some disagreement is normal, constantly butting heads on major life decisions can make it difficult to build a future together.
6. You keep secrets from each other.

Honesty and transparency are crucial in any relationship. If you find yourselves hiding information from each other, whether it’s about finances, personal struggles, or past relationships, it can destroy trust and create a sense of unease. Keeping secrets can also prevent you from addressing underlying issues that could be damaging your marriage.
7. You blame each other for your problems.

Taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions is essential for a healthy relationship. If you and your partner constantly blame each other for your problems, it can create a cycle of resentment and defensiveness. Instead of focusing on solutions, you get stuck in a blame game that prevents you from moving forward.
8. You’ve stopped making an effort to resolve conflicts.

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how you handle them that matters. If you and your partner have stopped trying to resolve conflicts constructively, opting instead for avoidance or passive-aggressive behaviour, it can lead to unresolved resentment and a breakdown in communication.
9. You fantasise about being with someone else.

It’s normal to find other people attractive, even when you’re in a committed relationship. However, if you frequently fantasise about being with someone else or feel like you’re missing out on something, it could be a sign that you’re not fully invested in your marriage. These thoughts might indicate underlying dissatisfaction or a lack of emotional connection with your partner.
10. You feel lonely or unsupported in your marriage.

Marriage should be a partnership where you feel loved, supported, and understood. If you consistently feel lonely, isolated, or like your partner doesn’t have your back, it can create a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. A lack of emotional support can lead to feelings of resentment and wear down the foundation of your relationship.
11. You’ve experienced infidelity or a major breach of trust.

Infidelity and other major betrayals can be devastating to a marriage. While some couples can overcome these challenges with counselling and commitment, others find it immensely hard to rebuild trust and move forward. If you’ve experienced a significant breach of trust, it’s important to be honest with yourself about whether you can truly forgive your partner and rebuild your relationship.
12. You constantly argue about money.

Financial disagreements are a common source of conflict in marriages. If you and your partner have vastly different spending habits, conflicting financial goals, or struggle to communicate openly about money, it can create significant tension. Unresolved financial issues can lead to resentment, stress, and ultimately undermine your relationship.
13. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around each other.

A healthy marriage should be a safe space where you can be yourself without fear of judgment or criticism. If you find yourself constantly censoring your words or actions to avoid upsetting your partner, it can create a tense and uncomfortable environment. Walking on eggshells is not a sustainable way to live, and it can ultimately destroy your emotional connection and lead to resentment.