Waiting for someone who never shows up can be devastating.
It hurts your pride, leaves you feeling foolish, and triggers a wave of emotions (none of them particularly positive). But don’t let one inconsiderate person ruin your day or shake your confidence. Being stood up is more about their issues than yours, and how you react can make all the difference.
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
Don’t bottle up your emotions. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or disappointed. Acknowledge those feelings and allow yourself to experience them. Write in a journal, talk to a trusted friend, or scream into a pillow if you need to. The first step to moving on is acknowledging how you feel.
2. Don’t jump to conclusions.
While it’s easy to assume the worst, resist the urge to catastrophise. There might be a valid reason for their absence. Maybe they had an emergency, got stuck in traffic, or simply forgot. Don’t let your mind spiral into a frenzy of negative thoughts. Give them the benefit of the doubt, at least initially.
3. Reach out, but don’t bombard them.
If they haven’t contacted you with an explanation, it’s okay to reach out and inquire about their whereabouts. A simple text or call is sufficient. However, don’t bombard them with messages or accusations. Keep it brief and polite, and see if they offer a valid excuse or apology. If they don’t respond or offer a lame excuse, it’s time to move on.
4. Don’t blame yourself.
Being stood up is not a reflection of your worth or attractiveness. It says more about the other person’s lack of consideration and respect. Don’t let their actions make you question yourself or your value. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration, and anyone who doesn’t value your time doesn’t deserve your presence.
5. Turn it into an opportunity.
Instead of dwelling on the negative, use the unexpected free time to your advantage. Do something you enjoy, pamper yourself, or catch up on tasks you’ve been putting off. Treat yourself to a nice meal, go for a walk in nature, or watch your favourite film. Turn the situation into a positive experience and remind yourself that you don’t need someone else to make you happy.
6. Focus on your self-worth.
Source: Unsplash Remind yourself of all the amazing qualities you possess. You’re smart, funny, kind, and deserving of love and respect. Don’t let one person’s inconsiderate behaviour define you or your worth. Surround yourself with positive people who appreciate and value you for who you are.
7. Don’t let it happen again.
Source: Unsplash If someone repeatedly stands you up, it’s a clear sign of disrespect. It’s not your responsibility to fix their behaviour or make excuses for them. It’s okay to walk away from a situation that’s causing you pain and look after yourself. You deserve to be with people who value your time and treat you with respect.
8. Learn from the experience.
Every experience, even a negative one, is an opportunity for growth. Use this as a chance to learn more about yourself, your needs, and what you want from a relationship. Maybe it’s time to reassess your expectations, set clearer boundaries, or simply choose to spend your time with people who value and respect you.
9. Find humour in the situation.
Source: Unsplash Laughter truly is the best medicine. Once the initial sting wears off, try to find the humour in the situation. Maybe you can share a funny story about it with your friends or turn it into a self-deprecating joke. Laughter can help diffuse the negative emotions and remind you that you’re resilient and can overcome any setback.
10. Use it as a conversation starter.
Source: Unsplash If you’re feeling brave, you can even use the experience as a conversation starter with someone new. Share your story in a relaxed way, showcasing your sense of humour and ability to bounce back. It could lead to an interesting conversation and a chance to connect with someone who appreciates your honesty and self-awareness.
11. Focus on the future, not the past.
Source: Unsplash Dwelling on the past won’t change what happened. Instead, focus on the future and the exciting possibilities that lie ahead. Make plans with friends, pursue your passions, and embrace new experiences. The world is full of wonderful people and opportunities, and you deserve to find happiness and connection.
12. Forgive, but don’t forget.
Source: Unsplash Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, but it doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. Forgive the person who stood you up, not for their sake, but for your own peace of mind. However, don’t forget the lesson learned. Use this experience to inform your future choices and set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
13. Remember, you’re not defined by this experience.
Source: Unsplash Being stood up is just a small blip on the radar of your life. It doesn’t define you or your worth. You’re so much more than this one incident. Focus on your strengths, celebrate your accomplishments, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!
