Being treated differently because of your size isn’t just frustrating; it’s exhausting.
The ways people act can be subtle or not-so-subtle, but either way, it adds up. If you’ve been overweight, you know exactly what I’m talking about and how painful it can be. Here are just some of the experiences you likely have when you’re in a larger body.
1. You get “compliments” with a hidden message.
Ever been told you have “such a pretty face” or “dress really well for your size”? These comments might sound positive, but they usually carry that unspoken “for someone your size” add-on. It’s not really a compliment—it’s a reminder they’re thinking about your weight. These backhanded compliments can make it feel like your appearance is under constant evaluation.
2. People love giving you unsolicited weight-loss advice.
People love to jump in with diet tips, workout routines, or “success stories” about someone who lost weight. Even strangers feel they’re doing you a favour by suggesting ways to “fix” your body, as if you asked for their opinion in the first place. It’s invasive and sends the message that your body is public property for everyone to comment on.
3. Everyone makes assumptions about your health.
Many assume that being fat automatically means you’re unhealthy, out of shape, or even lazy. Medical professionals can jump to conclusions too, often focusing only on weight as a health factor without considering other aspects of your well-being. This assumption often leads to fat people facing biased healthcare or being overlooked when it comes to non-weight-related medical issues.
4. You get used to being the “funny” friend.
People often expect fat friends to be the goofy, easy-going ones, sidelining your own feelings to keep everyone entertained. It’s like they’ve assigned you a role in their mental script, where you’re the comic relief rather than a real, complex person. This expectation can make it hard to express yourself genuinely, as if you’re only valued for keeping things light.
5. You’re usually overlooked in group photos.
When group photos happen, some people subtly (or not so subtly) push you to the back or angle themselves to avoid having you in the frame. Suddenly, it’s like you’re an inconvenience in the shot, as if your presence messes with the “aesthetic.” These actions make you feel like an outsider, like you’re someone they don’t want to include visually.
6. People make assumptions about your personality.
People sometimes assume that because you’re fat, you must be insecure, lazy, or even unintelligent. These stereotypes are ridiculous, but they show up in ways that affect how you’re treated, from job interviews to dating. It’s a way of reducing you to your size, ignoring your talents, skills, and personality.
7. You’re always the last to get served or noticed.
Whether at a bar, restaurant, or store, it’s not uncommon for people to serve other people first or not notice you at all. Somehow, being fat translates to invisibility, with staff looking right past you as if you’re not there. It’s dehumanising, making you feel like you don’t deserve the same courtesy as everyone else.
8. There are constant “before and after” comparisons.
If you’ve lost or gained weight at any point, people seem obsessed with making comparisons, like your worth is tied to that number on the scale. It’s as if they need to measure your value based on what size you used to be versus what size you are now. These comparisons can make you feel like you’re never enough, no matter what label is on your clothes.
9. You’re often treated as less competent than thinner people.
In work settings, some people assume that if you’re fat, you’re somehow less capable or driven. This bias is absurd, but it can show up in small ways, like being overlooked for projects or ignored in meetings. It’s insulting and reinforces the idea that your body size defines your abilities.
10. People avoid sitting next to you.
On planes, buses, or even in waiting rooms, people sometimes subtly shift or avoid sitting next to you altogether. It’s awkward and humiliating to be treated like you’re somehow taking up “too much” space, even if you’re minding your own business. This rejection can make public spaces feel uncomfortable, as if you don’t deserve equal space.
11. You get praised for simple activities.
Going for a walk, joining a yoga class, or just being active in general can draw unwelcome “good for you!” comments. It’s as if people are amazed you’re capable of enjoying or participating in movement without it being about weight loss. These “praises” can make it seem like people are only seeing your body, not the genuine enjoyment or interest you have in the activity.
12. Your food choices are under a microscope.
Whether you’re ordering a salad or a burger, people are paying attention. If you’re eating something healthy, they assume you’re dieting; if it’s something indulgent, they may judge you. This judgmental attention can make meals stressful, as if everything you eat is an invitation for other people to comment.
13. People make a big deal about your clothes.
If you dress stylishly or take time with your appearance, people might act surprised or even compliment you for “dressing so well for your size.” It’s as if they didn’t expect you to care about fashion, sending the message that they don’t see fat bodies as deserving style or attention. These comments reinforce the idea that your body is somehow “unexpected” in fashionable spaces, making it feel like style is something you’re not “supposed” to enjoy.
