Money can complicate relationships, and sometimes it’s hard to spot when someone’s affection is more about your wallet than your personality.
It’s great to be generous, especially when you’ve got a little extra to spare, but there comes a point when you’ve done enough giving – and someone in your life has likely done more than enough taking. Here’s a look at some tell-tale signs that someone might be taking advantage of your finances.
1. They always seem to be short on cash when you’re together.
You’ve noticed a pattern: every time you meet up, they’ve conveniently forgotten their wallet or are just a bit short on funds. It starts with small things like coffees or lunch, but soon you’re covering larger expenses. Their ‘forgetfulness’ seems to happen too often to be coincidental. You eventually start wondering if they ever have money when you’re not around, or if this financial amnesia is reserved just for your outings.
2. They only contact you when they need something.
The phone rings, and you already know they’re about to ask for a favour — usually one that involves money. Their messages are full of compliments followed by requests for loans or help with bills. You realise that genuine check-ins or invitations to hang out without a financial agenda are rare. It’s starting to feel like you’re more of an ATM than a friend or partner.
3. They make you feel guilty for not helping them financially.
When you hesitate or refuse to lend money, they lay on the guilt trip thick and fast. They might bring up past favours, remind you of their difficult situation, or accuse you of not caring about them. Their emotional manipulation is designed to make you feel bad for protecting your own financial interests. You end up giving in just to avoid the drama, even when your instincts tell you it’s not right.
4. They know your financial situation in detail, but you know little about theirs.
They seem to have an uncanny knowledge of your salary, savings, or recent windfalls. Yet when you ask about their finances, they become vague or change the subject. Sorry, but one-sided financial transparency is a red flag. It suggests they’re more interested in what you can provide than in building a balanced, open relationship.
5. They always have grand plans that require your investment.
They’re full of big ideas and exciting ventures, but these plans always seem to need your financial backing to get off the ground. Whether it’s a business idea or a dream holiday, you’re expected to foot the bill or at least contribute significantly. You’ve noticed that these grand schemes rarely materialise, but the requests for funding are constant.
6. They’re living beyond their means, and you’re footing the bill.
Their lifestyle doesn’t match their income, and you’re increasingly aware that you’re subsidising their expensive tastes. They insist on fancy restaurants or designer clothes but can never seem to pay their share. You end up covering the difference more often than not, watching your own savings dwindle while they maintain an unsustainable lifestyle.
7. They’re quick to spend your money but hesitant with their own.
When it’s your treat, they order the most expensive items without a second thought. But on the rare occasions when they’re paying, they suddenly become frugal. The double standard is glaring, and you can’t help but feel taken advantage of. It’s as if they view your money as communal property, but their own funds are strictly off-limits.
8. They make promises to pay you back, but never follow through.
The words “I’ll pay you back” have become all too familiar, but the repayments never seem to materialise. There’s always an excuse — a delayed pay cheque, an unexpected expense, or they simply ‘forgot’. You’ve started to realise that these promises are empty, designed to keep you providing financial support without any real intention of reciprocation.
9. They react negatively when you talk about saving or budgeting.
Whenever you mention trying to save money or stick to a budget, they react with disappointment or even anger. They might accuse you of being stingy or not fun anymore. Their resistance to financial responsibility is telling — it suggests they’re more interested in what your money can do for them than in your financial well-being.
10. They pressure you to make financial decisions that benefit them.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s co-signing a loan, sharing your credit card, or making a large purchase, they push you to make financial moves that put you at risk. They might use emotional appeals or promises of future payback to sway you. You eventually start feeling uncomfortable with these requests, aware that you’re being asked to take on financial burdens that aren’t yours to bear.
11. Your relationship seems to cool when you can’t provide financial help.
Source: Brooke Cagle/Unsplash You’ve noticed a pattern: when you’re able to help financially, they’re attentive and affectionate. But if you have to say no to a request for money, they become distant or even hostile. Their hot-and-cold behaviour based on your ability to provide financial support is a clear sign that money is a driving force in their interest in you.
12. They show little interest in your life beyond your financial situation.
Conversations often revolve around money — your job, your savings, or potential windfalls. But when you try to discuss other aspects of your life, they seem disinterested or quickly steer the conversation back to financial matters. Such narrow focus on your finances rather than on you as a person is telling. It suggests their interest is more in what you can provide than in who you are.
13. They make you feel responsible for their financial well-being.
Somehow, their financial problems have become your responsibility. They imply, or outright state, that you should help them because you’re in a better financial position. This misplaced sense of obligation can leave you feeling trapped and taken advantage of. You start wondering when and how you became accountable for someone else’s financial situation, and why they seem to have no qualms about burdening you.
