Praising children effectively can boost their self-esteem, motivation, and overall development.
However, not all praise is created equal. Understanding how to deliver meaningful and constructive praise can majorly impact your child’s growth. While you want to pat them on the back and encourage them to work hard to continue achieving their goals, you have to go about it in the right way. Here are 13 important things to keep in mind when praising your child.
1. Be specific about what you’re praising.
Instead of generic praise like “Good job”, focus on the specific action or behaviour you’re commending. For example, “I noticed how carefully you arranged your toys after playtime”. Specificity helps children understand exactly what they did well and encourages them to repeat positive behaviours.
2. Praise effort rather than innate abilities.
Emphasise the hard work and perseverance your child demonstrates rather than praising natural talents. For instance, say “You worked really hard on that maths problem” instead of “You’re so smart”. By approaching things this way, you encourage a growth mindset and encourages children to embrace challenges.
3. Be sincere in your praise.
Children can often detect insincerity. Ensure your praise is genuine and warranted. Overpraise or false compliments can lead to confusion and potentially decrease the value of your words. Honest, heartfelt praise is more meaningful and impactful.
4. Avoid comparisons to siblings or peers.
Source: Unsplash Praise your child’s individual progress without comparing them to anyone else. Statements like “You’re so much better at this than your brother” can create unnecessary competition and potentially damage sibling relationships. Focus on personal growth and improvement instead.
5. Use a warm and encouraging tone.
Source: Unsplash The way you deliver praise is as important as the words you use. A warm, enthusiastic tone can reinforce your message and make your child feel truly appreciated. Your voice and body language should align with your words to convey genuine approval.
6. Praise the process, not just the outcome.
Acknowledge the steps your child took to achieve a goal, not just the end result. For example, “I saw how you kept trying different approaches to solve that puzzle. That kind of persistence is fantastic”. Statements like these help children value the learning process and not just the final achievement.
7. Avoid praise that might create pressure.
Be cautious of praise that could make your child feel they always need to perform at a certain level. Statements like “You always get full marks!” might create anxiety about maintaining perfection. Instead, focus on their consistent effort or improvement.
8. Encourage self-evaluation.
After praising your child, ask them how they feel about their accomplishment. Questions like “How do you think you did?” or “What are you most proud of?” encourage self-reflection and help children develop their own sense of achievement.
9. Be mindful of praising personality traits.
While it’s tempting to praise traits like intelligence or talent, this can lead children to believe these qualities are fixed. Instead, focus on praising actions and choices. Doing so encourages children to see their abilities as something they can develop and improve.
10. Use praise to reinforce values.
Incorporate your family’s values into your praise. For instance, if you value kindness, you might say, “I noticed how you shared your toys with your friend. That was very kind of you”. This helps reinforce important principles and behaviours.
11. Balance praise with constructive feedback.
While praise is important, it’s equally crucial to provide constructive feedback when needed. Having a bit of balance helps children develop a realistic self-image and understand that there’s always room for growth and improvement.
12. Avoid using praise as a manipulation tool.
Don’t use praise solely to get your child to do something. For example, “You’re such a good girl when you eat all your vegetables” can feel manipulative. Instead, praise should be a genuine recognition of positive actions or efforts.
13. Remember that actions can speak louder than words.
Sometimes, non-verbal praise can be just as effective. A hug, a smile, or your undivided attention can convey approval and appreciation. These gestures, combined with verbal praise, create a supportive environment for your child’s growth and development.
