Friendship breakups can be just as painful as romantic ones, especially when it’s your best friend.
The loss of such a close bond can leave you feeling adrift and heartbroken, especially when you’ve known one another for years and assumed you’d always be in one another’s lives. Here are 13 ways losing a best friend feels eerily similar to a romantic breakup.
1. You find yourself avoiding places you used to go together.
Source: Unsplash Just like after a romantic breakup, certain locations become loaded with memories. That café where you used to meet for weekly catch-ups or the park where you’d go for walks suddenly feels off-limits. You might even start taking different routes or changing your routines to avoid these painful reminders of your lost friendship.
2. You have the urge to text them about every little thing.
When something funny happens , or you have exciting news, your first instinct is still to share it with them. But then you remember you can’t. This constant need to reach out, followed by the realisation that it’s no longer an option, can be a source of ongoing pain. It’s a stark reminder of the void left in your daily life.
3. Mutual friends feel awkward around you.
Just like in a romantic breakup, your shared social circle might not know how to act. They might feel torn between you and your former best friend, leading to awkward interactions. You might start wondering if they’re taking sides or if you’ll lose more friends in the fallout.
4. You go through old messages and photos.
Late at night, you end up scrolling through old text conversations or looking at photos from happier times. This bittersweet trip down memory lane is a common post-breakup behaviour, regardless of whether the relationship was romantic or platonic. It’s a way of processing the loss, even if it sometimes makes the pain feel fresh again.
5. You question your own identity.
Your best friend was likely a big part of your life and maybe even how you saw yourself. Without them, you might feel like you’ve lost a part of your identity. This can lead to a period of self-reflection and even identity crisis, much like after the end of a long-term romantic relationship.
6. You feel a physical ache in your chest.
The pain of losing a best friend isn’t just emotional — it can feel physical too. You might experience a tightness in your chest or a hollow feeling in your stomach. This physical manifestation of emotional pain is common in all types of significant losses, including friendship breakups.
7. You struggle to talk about it with other people.
People often understand the need to talk about romantic breakups, but friendship breakups can be harder to discuss. You might struggle to explain the depth of your loss to anyone else. This difficulty in finding support and understanding can make the experience even more isolating.
8. You replay conversations, looking for where things went wrong.
Just like with a romantic partner, you might obsess over your last interactions. You replay conversations in your head, wondering if you could have said or done something differently. This rumination is a common part of the grieving process, as you try to make sense of the loss.
9. You feel betrayed if you see them with other friends.
Source: Unsplash Seeing your former best friend hanging out with other people can trigger feelings of jealousy and betrayal, much like seeing an ex with a new partner. Even though you know friendships aren’t exclusive, it can still hurt to see them forming close bonds with people who aren’t you.
10. You have to rediscover solo activities.
Many of your hobbies and pastimes might have been shared activities. Now, you have to learn to enjoy these things alone or find new interests altogether. This process of rediscovering yourself as an individual is very similar to what happens after a romantic breakup.
11. Special dates become painful reminders.
Source: Unsplash Birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries of significant events in your friendship can become difficult days. These dates, which were once causes for celebration, now serve as painful reminders of your loss. You probably dread these days, much like people do after romantic breakups.
12. You worry about bumping into them unexpectedly.
Source: Unsplash The thought of an unexpected encounter can fill you with anxiety. You might rehearse what you’d say or how you’d act if you ran into them at the shops or a local event. This fear of unplanned meetings is a common experience for both friendship and romantic breakups.
13. You go through stages of grief.
Source: Unsplash Just like with the end of a romantic relationship, losing a best friend can lead you through the stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You might start cycling through these emotions as you come to terms with the loss of this important relationship in your life.
