Christmas is often associated with joy, togetherness, and celebration, but for those who are grieving, it can be a painful and overwhelming time.
Missing a loved one can make the holiday season feel even lonelier, and traditions that were once a source of comfort can be incredibly sad. While there’s no right way to grieve, there are ways to cope and find moments of peace. Doing these things might allow you to deal with your grief just a bit easier — they’re worth a try, anyway.
1. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling.
Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline, and it can take many forms, from sadness to anger to even moments of numbness. During the holidays, give yourself permission to feel however you need to, without trying to force yourself into the festive spirit. Recognise that it’s okay to not be okay, and that your emotions are valid, no matter how they manifest.
2. Create new traditions.
While it might feel impossible to enjoy the same traditions when you’re grieving, creating new ones can help bring a sense of peace and purpose. Whether it’s a quiet morning spent reflecting, starting a new family activity, or dedicating a part of your celebrations to honour the loved one you’ve lost, new traditions can offer comfort and create a space for healing.
3. Set boundaries with the people in your life.
During the holidays, social obligations and family gatherings can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re grieving. Don’t hesitate to set boundaries with everyone about what you’re comfortable with. If you need to skip a family event or leave early, that’s okay. You have the right to protect your emotional well-being during this time.
4. Take time for yourself.
Grief can be emotionally exhausting, and sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break from all the noise and festivities. Carve out time to relax, reflect, or simply rest. Whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, or having a quiet moment to yourself, taking care of your emotional health is crucial.
5. Reach out for support.
If you’re feeling isolated, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Whether it’s talking to a close friend, finding a grief support group, or talking to a therapist, connecting with people who understand what you’re going through can make a huge difference. You don’t have to face this alone.
6. Honour your loved one.
Taking time to remember and honour your loved one can help bring a sense of peace during the holidays. You might light a candle, visit their favourite place, or share stories about them with other people. Finding a way to keep their memory alive can help you feel connected to them, even as you navigate your grief.
7. Embrace the quiet moments.
The holiday season is often filled with noise and busyness, but sometimes, it’s the quiet moments that offer the most comfort. Take advantage of these moments of stillness to reflect, meditate, or simply breathe. These moments can help ground you and provide the space you need to process your emotions.
8. Avoid over-scheduling yourself.
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, but over-scheduling can quickly lead to burnout, especially when you’re grieving. Keep your calendar simple and avoid taking on too much. Giving yourself permission to rest and take breaks will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained.
9. Engage in activities that bring comfort.
Even though you might not feel like celebrating, engaging in activities that bring you comfort can offer some relief. Whether it’s watching a favourite holiday movie, baking, or going for a walk in nature, simple pleasures can help create moments of peace and provide a welcome distraction from the heaviness of grief.
10. Let people know how they can help.
If friends or family offer help, let them know what you need. Sometimes, people may want to support you but don’t know how. Be honest about what would help, whether it’s needing someone to talk to, help with cooking, or simply spending time together in silence. Communication is key in allowing people to support you in the way that feels most helpful.
11. Give yourself permission to skip the festivities.
If the thought of celebrating feels too overwhelming, give yourself permission to skip or scale back on holiday festivities. You’re under no obligation to participate if it doesn’t feel right. Honour your grief, and don’t feel guilty for needing to step back from things that feel too much.
12. Celebrate in your own way.
If the traditional ways of celebrating the holidays no longer feel right, create your own rituals that honour both your grief and the season. Whether it’s doing something meaningful alone or with other people, find a way to celebrate that feels authentic to you and your journey.
13. Be kind to yourself.
Grief can be a long, difficult process, and the holidays can amplify that pain. Be gentle with yourself, and recognise that healing takes time. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, and it’s okay to feel sadness, joy, and everything in between. Show yourself the same compassion and care that you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
