Sure, you can ditch the Union Jack swimwear and mute your accent, but we Brits have a way of making our presence obvious when we leave the UK.
Hilariously, we tend catch ourselves out with these as often as other people do. If you tend to do these things when you go abroad, congrats, you’re clearly British!
1. You wait for the “invisible pedestrian light” to turn green.
Even in cities where jaywalking is the norm, you’ll stand on the pavement, patiently waiting for the green man to appear. The locals might give you side-eye as they confidently cross, but you’ll stay rooted, muttering, “Better safe than sorry.” It’s as if you believe some cosmic force will enforce the rules if you step out of line.
2. You expect the water pressure to disappoint you.
Stepping into a hotel shower, you instinctively brace for a trickle that reminds you of the “barely functioning” ones back home. When the water pressure is actually decent, your surprise might even slip out as a murmured, “Wow, this is posh!” You’ll likely rave about it for the rest of your trip to anyone who’ll listen.
3. You instinctively scan menus for “jacket potatoes.”
Abroad, you’re unlikely to find your beloved baked spuds with cheese and beans, but it doesn’t stop you from searching. When it’s nowhere to be found, you’ll settle for fries—but not without a wistful sigh about “home comforts.” You’ll also probably lament the lack of “proper cheddar” while you’re at it.
4. You treat every form of public transport like a novelty.
Whether it’s a tram, metro, or high-speed train, you’ll find yourself fascinated by how efficient—or chaotic—it is compared to “what we have back home.” You might even give an unsolicited review to anyone nearby, complete with a comment on how clean it is. Somehow, the journey itself becomes a highlight of your trip.
5. You pack snacks like you’re headed to the Arctic.
Your carry-on is suspiciously heavy because it’s full of “emergency” custard creams, tea bags, or even a sneaky jar of Marmite. You insist it’s just in case, but deep down, you know you’ll start dipping into the stash the moment you feel slightly out of your culinary depth. And heaven forbid you run out before your return flight.
6. You whisper “thank you” to every staff member you pass.
Whether it’s hotel cleaners, bus drivers, or security guards, you quietly mutter “thank you” like it’s a secret code. They might not hear you—or even speak your language—but it’s ingrained in you to thank absolutely everyone, no matter what. It’s as if the universe might collapse if you don’t acknowledge their efforts.
7. You’re scandalised when the hotel “towels” are the size of napkins.
Faced with an undersized towel, you can’t help but compare it to the “proper bath sheets” you have at home. You’ll awkwardly try to dry yourself, grumbling under your breath, “What am I supposed to do with this?” The phrase “you get what you pay for” might also make a reluctant appearance.
8. You clap at a sunset like it’s a performance.
Something about a picturesque view—whether it’s a beach sunset or a mountain range—compels you to clap or give a heartfelt “brilliant!” The locals might be confused, but it feels like the polite thing to do when nature puts on a show. You might even feel slightly offended if other people don’t join in.
9. You can’t adjust to the concept of tipping.
Abroad, tipping culture can vary wildly, and you’ll inevitably ask, “Are we supposed to tip here?” If someone explains it’s 20% in the US, or not at all in Japan, you’ll still awkwardly hover over your wallet, muttering about how “it’s different back home.” The entire process leaves you feeling like you’re doing it wrong regardless of what you do.
10. You instinctively offer to share a meal—then regret it.
When eating with other people, you’ll politely say, “Would you like to try some?” only to immediately panic when they take you up on it. Whether it’s tapas in Spain or a dessert in Italy, you’ll quietly mourn the bite they just swiped off your plate. Sharing is caring, but it comes with a twinge of regret.
11. You’re oddly loyal to chain supermarkets.
Source: Unsplash Even in a foreign land with bustling local markets, you’ll spot a Tesco or Sainsbury’s Local and feel oddly comforted. You might even make a detour “just to see what they have,” convincing yourself it’s research while filling your basket with familiar brands. There’s something reassuring about finding a Dairy Milk or Walkers crisps so far from home.
12. You compare every beer to a pint at your local.
When handed a bottle of beer in Germany or a fancy craft brew in the States, you’ll instinctively say, “Not bad, but it’s not like a pint back home.” Your preference for draught beer in a pub glass might be charming—or mildly annoying—to everyone else. You’ll likely follow up with a story about your favourite local haunt.
13. You insist on saying, “Right then, I’m off” when leaving.
No matter how much you’ve tried to blend in, your farewell will inevitably include a, “Right then, I’m off!” or a cheerful “ta-ta for now!” It might draw confused looks, but it’s as much a part of you as your love for tea and sarcasm. You simply can’t help yourself, even if you’re chuckling as you say it.
