Have you ever felt like someone only reaches out when it benefits them?
Relationships, whether friendships or romantic, should be built on mutual respect and care—not convenience. Sadly, not everyone has genuine intentions. If you notice these things happening, the person guilty of these habits might only want you around when it suits them.
1. They only reach out when they need something.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s borrowing money, advice, or a favour, their texts or calls seem to come with a request attached. If the relationship feels one-sided, it might be time to set boundaries. Start by saying no occasionally and see how they react—it’s a good indicator of their intentions.
2. They disappear when you need them.
When life gets tough, they’re suddenly too busy or unavailable. Genuine relationships are built on mutual support, and someone who vanishes during your hardships isn’t showing that they truly value you. Consider redirecting your energy toward those who consistently show up for you.
3. They cancel plans last minute.
If they frequently back out of plans with vague excuses, it could mean they don’t prioritise your time. While everyone has valid reasons for cancelling occasionally, a pattern of doing so without care for your feelings signals a lack of respect. Discuss how it makes you feel and see if they’re willing to change.
4. They only make time when it’s convenient for them.
Rather than making an effort to fit you into their schedule, they expect you to drop everything for them. True relationships involve compromise—if it feels one-sided, it might be worth addressing their lack of effort or reevaluating the connection.
5. They don’t include you in their significant moments.
Birthdays, achievements, or other big events often come and go without them inviting or involving you. It feels as if you’re kept on the sidelines of their life. If this pattern continues, it may be worth considering how much space they deserve in yours.
6. They’re more interested in talking about themselves.
When you’re together, the conversation always seems to revolve around them—their problems, their successes, and their plans. If they show little interest in your life or dismiss your experiences, it’s a clear sign of self-centredness. Try steering the conversation toward your needs and gauge their response.
7. They give minimal effort to maintain the relationship.
Whether it’s through texts, calls, or time spent together, their engagement feels shallow or obligatory. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual investment, so if they’re putting in little effort, it’s worth considering whether the connection is worth maintaining.
8. They’re quick to take credit, but slow to share it.
When things go well, they’re eager to highlight their role, but when challenges arise, they’re nowhere to be found. This behaviour suggests they’re more interested in self-gain than a genuine connection. Recognising this dynamic early can help you set firmer boundaries.
9. They don’t apologise or take accountability.
When they hurt you, they brush it off or shift the blame. Genuine relationships involve taking responsibility and making amends. If they can’t acknowledge their mistakes, it’s a sign they may not value your feelings as much as they should.
10. They’re inconsistent with their attention.
One week, they’re overly attentive and friendly, and the next, they’re distant or uninterested. This hot-and-cold behaviour can leave you feeling confused and undervalued. Consistency is key in healthy relationships, so it’s worth discussing these patterns with them directly.
11. They’re dismissive of your emotions.
When you open up or share how you feel, they downplay your emotions or change the subject. Someone who genuinely cares will listen and validate your feelings, even if they don’t fully understand them. If they don’t, it’s a sign they may not prioritise your well-being.
12. They don’t celebrate your successes.
When something good happens in your life, they seem indifferent or even jealous. Someone who truly values you will share in your joy and cheer for your achievements. A lack of enthusiasm for your wins could indicate they don’t see the relationship as equal or supportive.
13. They avoid deeper conversations.
Your interactions feel surface-level, and when you try to discuss meaningful topics, they quickly shut it down or change the subject. Depth is a crucial part of any strong relationship, so if they avoid it, they may not be invested in a deeper connection with you.
14. They make you feel like an afterthought.
Plans are made last minute, or you find out they’ve invited other people to something without including you. If their actions consistently make you feel less important, it’s a strong indicator they’re not prioritising the relationship. Deciding how much you want to invest in such a connection is entirely up to you.
