Your relationship with your family is one of the most important ones you’ll ever have.
While not all relatives get along, the relationships between you would be a lot more harmonious if it weren’t for some big mistakes too many of us are guilty of making. Whether you want to strengthen or improve your bond with your parents, siblings, cousins, or anyone else in your family, these behaviours aren’t going to do you any favours.
1. Holding grudges
We’ve all been there — someone does something that rubs us the wrong way, and we just can’t let it go. Holding on to anger or resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick, as they say. It eats away at you and creates a wedge in the relationship. Try to address issues head-on and then move past them.
2. Not respecting boundaries
Family doesn’t mean you get a free pass to overstep. Whether it’s showing up unannounced, giving unsolicited advice, or prying into personal matters, not respecting boundaries can drive a wedge between family members. It’s important to recognise and respect each other’s personal space and autonomy.
3. Playing the blame game
Constantly pointing fingers and blaming other people for problems is bound to create tension. It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when things go wrong. But playing the blame game rarely solves anything and often makes people defensive. Try focusing on solutions instead of finding fault.
4. Lack of communication
Bottling up feelings or avoiding tough conversations can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. Open, honest communication is key to healthy family relationships. It might be uncomfortable at times, but it’s better than letting issues fester.
5. Taking each other for granted
It’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming your family will always be there, no matter what. But everyone needs to feel appreciated and valued. Don’t forget to show gratitude and acknowledge the things your family members do for you.
6. Bringing up past mistakes
Dragging up old issues or constantly reminding someone of their past mistakes can be really damaging. It’s important to deal with problems as they arise and then let them go. Constantly rehashing the past prevents people from moving forward and growing.
7. Not making time for each other
Life gets busy, and it’s easy to put family on the back burner. But neglecting to spend quality time together can weaken family bonds. Make an effort to carve out time for family, whether it’s regular dinners, weekend activities, or just catching up on the phone.
8. Being judgemental
Family members often feel entitled to voice their opinions about each other’s lives. But being overly critical or judgemental can push people away. Try to be supportive and understanding, even if you don’t always agree with someone’s choices.
9. Refusing to apologise
We all mess up sometimes, but refusing to admit when you’re wrong and say sorry can cause lasting damage. Swallowing your pride and offering a sincere apology can go a long way in healing rifts and strengthening relationships.
10. Not respecting differences
Families are made up of individuals with their own unique personalities, beliefs, and lifestyles. Trying to force everyone to conform to one way of thinking or living can create resentment. It’s important to accept and respect each other’s differences.
11. Gossiping about family members
Talking behind each other’s backs or sharing personal information without permission is a quick way to break trust. It can create an atmosphere of suspicion and make people feel betrayed. Keep confidences and avoid spreading family gossip.
12. Financial disputes
Money issues can cause major rifts in families. Whether it’s borrowing money and not paying it back, arguing over inheritances, or judging how other people spend their cash, financial disputes can get ugly fast. Try to keep money matters clear and fair, and avoid mixing family and finances when possible.
13. Not supporting each other’s dreams
Family should be your biggest cheerleaders, but sometimes they can be the biggest critics. Dismissing or belittling someone’s aspirations can cause deep hurt. Even if you don’t fully understand or agree with someone’s goals, offering support can make a huge difference.
14. Letting outside influences come between you
Whether it’s a new partner, friends, or work commitments, allowing outside influences to consistently take precedence over family can strain relationships. It’s important to balance family ties with other aspects of life, but don’t let family become an afterthought.
