If you’re stuck in a conversation that’s way past its sell-by date, getting out is probably the only thing you can think of.
You don’t want to be rude, but you’re bored and frankly a little uncomfortable — how can they not see you’re totally over it? Here’s how to make a graceful exit from pretty much any chat as painlessly as possible.
1. Use the classic “refresh my drink” excuse.
This time-honoured escape route still works wonders. Simply gesture to your empty glass and mention you’re off to get a refill. It’s a natural break in the conversation that doesn’t seem abrupt or rude. Once you’ve made your exit, you can easily find a new conversation partner or take a breather. Just be prepared with a backup plan if someone offers to get the drink for you!
2. Introduce the person to someone else.
If you spot a friend nearby, bring them into the conversation and introduce them to the person you’re talking to. Once they’re chatting, you can politely excuse yourself. This is particularly smooth as you’re not leaving the person alone, but rather expanding their social circle. It’s a win-win situation that allows you to make your exit without any awkwardness.
3. Set a time limit at the start of the conversation.
When you first begin chatting, mention that you only have a few minutes before you need to leave or attend to something. This sets expectations from the get-go and gives you an easy out when the time comes. You can say something like, “It was great catching up, but I’ve got to dash now as promised.” Going about things this way is honest and doesn’t leave the other person feeling abruptly abandoned.
4. Use the “I need to make a call” excuse.
Source: Unsplash In our connected world, this excuse is both believable and versatile. You can say you need to make an important call or check in with someone. Step away to “take the call” and then find a new spot in the room or event. If you’re worried about being caught out, you can actually make a quick call to your voicemail just to sell the excuse.
5. Excuse yourself to the loo.
Source: Unsplash This is a universal and unquestionable reason to exit any conversation. Everyone understands the need for a toilet break, and it’s not something people typically challenge. The key is to make it seem natural and not too sudden. You can say something like, “Sorry, would you excuse me for a moment? I need to pop to the loo.” When you return, you can easily join a different conversation or group.
6. Claim you’ve just spotted someone you need to talk to.
Scan the room and pretend to notice someone you urgently need to speak with. You can say, “Oh, I’ve just seen Sarah and I really need to catch her before she leaves. It was great chatting!” This works particularly well at larger gatherings where it’s plausible that you’ve just noticed someone. Just make sure you actually do go and talk to someone else to maintain the illusion.
7. Use a pre-arranged signal with a friend.
Before the event, agree on a rescue signal with a friend. When you’re stuck in an uncomfortable conversation, give the signal and have your friend come over to pull you away for an “urgent matter.” Admittedly, this requires some pre-planning but can be a lifesaver in tricky social situations. Just be sure to return the favour when your friend needs an out!
8. Suggest continuing the conversation later.
If the topic is interesting, but the timing isn’t right, suggest picking up the conversation another time. You might say, “This is fascinating, but I’m afraid I need to run. Shall we grab a coffee next week and continue this chat?” It shows you value the conversation while still allowing you to exit gracefully. Just make sure you follow through if you genuinely want to continue the discussion.
9. Use a scheduled alarm on your phone.
Before entering a situation where you might need an exit strategy, set an alarm on your phone. When it goes off, you can pretend it’s an important reminder or call you need to take. It gives you a clear, audible reason to step away from the conversation. You can apologise and say you need to deal with something urgent, then make your escape.
10. Offer to help the host or organiser.
If you’re at an event or party, offer to help the host with something. You could say, “Excuse me, I just realised I haven’t offered to help Sarah with anything. I’m going to see if she needs a hand in the kitchen.” This not only gets you out of the conversation but also makes you look thoughtful and considerate. It’s a win-win situation that allows you to circulate and potentially join a different group.
11. Use the “I need some fresh air” excuse.
Claiming you need some fresh air is a versatile excuse that works in many situations. You can say you’re feeling a bit warm or just need a moment outside. This gives you a chance to step away from the conversation and potentially return to a different group when you come back inside. If you’re at an indoor event, you can use this excuse to move to a different part of the venue.
12. Wrap up the conversation with a compliment.
End the chat on a positive note by offering a genuine compliment. You could say something like, “It’s been really interesting hearing your thoughts on this. Thanks for sharing your perspective. I should mingle a bit more, but I’m glad we had this chat.” You can acknowledge the value of the conversation while clearly signalling its end. It leaves the other person feeling good about the interaction, even as you make your exit.
13. Use the “I don’t want to monopolise your time” approach.
This tactic is particularly useful at networking events or parties where mingling is expected. You can say, “I’ve really enjoyed our conversation, but I don’t want to monopolise all your time. I’m sure there are other people you’d like to chat with as well.” This frames your exit as a considerate gesture, allowing the other person to move on and talk to other people, too. It’s a polite way of ending the conversation that doesn’t make anyone feel dismissed.
14. Be honest, but kind.
Sometimes, the best approach is simple honesty. If a conversation is making you uncomfortable, it’s okay to politely but firmly end it. You might say, “I’m not really comfortable discussing this topic. I think it’s best if we change the subject or end our chat here.” While this might feel awkward in the moment, it’s often appreciated in the long run. Just remember to keep your tone respectful and your words kind, even if you’re feeling frustrated.
