Honesty is generally the best policy, but sometimes you have to tell your kids a few innocent fibs.
Whether it’s to save your sanity or encourage better behaviour, parents have been lying to their kids for eons — it’s basically a rite of passage. Here are some of the most popular lies you probably heard when you were growing up, and may have even repeated to your own little ones!
1. The ice cream van only plays music when it’s out of ice cream.
This one’s a real classic. Parents everywhere breathe a sigh of relief when their kids actually fall for this. It’s the perfect way to avoid constant pleas for ice cream every time that jingle starts playing down the street. The look of disappointment on a kid’s face when they hear the music is almost enough to make you feel guilty… almost.
2. Eating crusts will make your hair curly.
Who knew bread had such magical properties? This lie has been saving parents from crust-cutting duty for generations. Kids worldwide are munching on pizza crusts and sandwich edges, waiting for those curls to sprout. Spoiler alert: they’re going to be waiting a long time.
3. If you swallow a seed, a tree will grow in your tummy.
This one’s got kids everywhere carefully spitting out watermelon seeds and apple pips. The mental image of a tree sprouting out of their belly button is usually enough to make them extra cautious. It’s all fun and games until they start worrying about becoming a human greenhouse.
4. Your face will freeze like that if the wind changes.
Making silly faces is a kid’s favourite pastime, but it can get old for parents real quick. Enter this classic fib. It’s amazing how quickly a kid’s expression can change when they’re worried about being stuck with a crossed-eye, tongue-out face forever.
5. The tooth fairy needs your teeth to build her castle.
This one adds a whole new level to the tooth fairy myth. Kids get so excited thinking about their tooth being part of a magical fairy castle. It’s way better than thinking about some weird tooth-hoarding fairy, right?
6. Watching too much TV will make your eyes square.
Parents have been using this one to pry kids away from screens for years. The idea of having square eyes is just weird enough to be believable to a kid. Plus, it gives them a great excuse to check their eyes in the mirror every few minutes.
7. The car won’t start unless everyone’s wearing a seatbelt.
This little fib has probably saved more lives than we can count. Kids scramble to buckle up, thinking they’re helping to start the car. Little do they know, they’re just following basic safety rules. Sneaky, but effective.
8. Eating spinach will make you super strong.
Thanks, Popeye! This lie has kids everywhere choking down spinach in hopes of developing superhuman strength. The look of concentration on their face as they flex their muscles after eating is priceless.
9. The internet turns off at 8 pm.
In the age of constant connectivity, parents need all the help they can get. This lie buys them a few hours of peace in the evening. Kids everywhere are amazed at how the internet knows exactly when their bedtime is.
10. If you lie, your nose will grow.
Pinocchio has a lot to answer for. This fib has kids everywhere paranoid about the size of their noses. The number of times a parent has caught a kid measuring their nose after telling a fib is probably astronomical.
11. The pet fish went to live in the sea with its friends.
Ah, the classic “Nemo reunion” story. It’s much easier than explaining the concept of death to a four-year-old. Plus, kids get to imagine their little goldfish living it up in the big blue sea. Win-win, right?
12. Eating carrots helps you see in the dark.
This one’s got kids munching on carrots like rabbits, then running into dark rooms to test their night vision. The disappointed look when they realize they can’t actually see any better is both hilarious and a little bit heartbreaking.
13. The ice cream truck only plays music to let everyone know it’s bedtime.
This is the evil twin of the “out of ice cream” lie. It’s a desperate attempt to get kids to bed when that infernal jingle starts playing at 8 pm. The confused looks between kids when one says it means ice cream and another says bedtime are priceless.
14. If you swallow gum, it’ll stay in your tummy for seven years.
This whopper has saved many a parent from having to constantly supply gum. The idea of a wad of gum just sitting in their stomach for years is enough to make most kids think twice about swallowing. Of course, it also leads to some interesting questions about what happens after the seven years are up!
