14 Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Really Change Your Behaviour

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We’ve all resolved to make a change, whether it’s eating healthier, exercising more, or being less stressed.

But then life happens, and those good intentions seem to fade away. If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to stick to your goals and truly change your behaviour, you’re not alone. Here are a few reasons why it’s such a struggle.

1. Our brains love habits.

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Our brains are wired to create habits. They help us conserve energy and make decisions more efficiently. But when we want to change a behaviour, we’re essentially fighting against those ingrained neural pathways. It takes time and effort to create new habits and replace old ones.

2. We underestimate the power of triggers.

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Certain situations, emotions, or even people can trigger our old behaviours. We might not even realise these triggers exist until we’re suddenly back to our old habits. Identifying and managing these triggers is crucial for lasting change.

3. We lack a clear plan.

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Simply wanting to change isn’t enough. We need a clear, actionable plan that outlines the specific steps we need to take to reach our goals. Without a plan, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and lose momentum.

4. We focus on willpower alone.

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While willpower is important, it’s a limited resource. Relying solely on willpower to change our behaviour is like trying to run a marathon on an empty stomach. We need to create a supportive environment, address underlying emotional issues, and develop strategies to cope with setbacks.

5. We fear failure.

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The fear of failing can paralyse us before we even start. We might worry about what other people will think or feel ashamed if we don’t succeed. But remember, setbacks are a normal part of the process. It’s how we learn and grow. Don’t let fear hold you back.

6. We lack support.

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Changing our behaviour is easier with the support of friends, family, or a therapist. Having someone to cheer you on, hold you accountable, and offer guidance can make all the difference. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

7. We try to change too much at once.

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Trying to overhaul your entire life overnight is a recipe for burnout. Instead, focus on small, achievable goals. Start with one or two habits you want to change, and gradually build from there. Small wins can lead to big transformations.

8. We don’t reward ourselves.

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Celebrating our successes, no matter how small, is crucial for maintaining motivation. When we reward ourselves for our efforts, we reinforce the positive behaviour and make it more likely to stick. Treat yourself to something you enjoy, whether it’s a relaxing bath, a new book, or a night out with friends.

9. We get discouraged by setbacks.

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Change is rarely a linear process. There will be setbacks and slip-ups along the way. But instead of viewing these as failures, see them as opportunities to learn and adjust your approach. Don’t let one bad day derail your entire progress. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.

10. We lack self-compassion.

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We often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and beat ourselves up when we don’t meet them. But self-compassion is key to lasting change. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and focus on progress, not perfection.

11. We focus on the negative.

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Our brains have a negativity bias, which means we tend to focus on the negative aspects of our lives and downplay the positive. This can make it difficult to see our progress and appreciate our successes. Practice gratitude and focus on the positive changes you’re making, no matter how small they may seem.

12. We compare ourselves to other people.

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Comparing ourselves to other people is a guaranteed way to feel discouraged and demotivated. Remember, everyone’s journey is different. Focus on your own progress and celebrate your unique strengths and accomplishments.

13. We underestimate the power of our environment.

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Our environment plays a significant role in shaping our behaviour. If we’re surrounded by temptations or negative influences, it’s much harder to stick to our goals. Create a supportive environment that encourages healthy habits and minimises distractions.

14. We don’t believe in ourselves.

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Perhaps the biggest obstacle to change is a lack of self-belief. If we don’t believe we’re capable of changing, we’re less likely to put in the effort required. But remember, you are stronger and more capable than you think. Believe in yourself, and you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve.