Why is it that when everything’s going right, you suddenly start expecting something to go wrong?
Maybe you finally landed a job in your field after months of dead ends, or you’ve met someone amazing who seems to like you as much as you like them after one too many bad dating experiences. Whatever’s working out for you in your life right now, you just don’t trust it — even though it’s exactly what you always hoped would happen. Don’t beat yourself up too much for it, though. It’s a strange but common feeling, and there’s a reason your anxiety reaches an all-time high just when everything’s starting to pan out for you.
1. You’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When life feels too perfect, it’s easy to assume it’s just the calm before the storm. A lot of time, past experiences inform this mindset, especially if unexpected setbacks always followed good times. It can feel like a defence mechanism, keeping you on edge in case trouble arises. Unfortunately, constantly anticipating problems robs you of the chance to fully enjoy the moment. By always bracing yourself, you miss out on the joy that comes with simply letting things be. Recognising that good times don’t always lead to bad ones can help ease that underlying tension.
2. You’re uncomfortable with stillness.
When everything feels settled and peaceful, it can be unnerving if you’re used to chaos or constant activity. For some, peace feels unfamiliar, and unfamiliar things can naturally trigger anxiety. You might even feel like you need to create a problem just to feel normal. That kind of reaction is often tied to an inability to relax, as though stillness isn’t productive or worthwhile. Learning to embrace quiet moments without searching for something to fix can help you feel more comfortable when life slows down in a good way.
3. You feel unworthy of good things.
Deep down, you might struggle with believing you truly deserve happiness. When things go well, it can stir up feelings of guilt or fear, as though you’re not entitled to the success or joy you’re experiencing. Of course, that make it hard to fully accept the positive things in your life. These feelings often stem from past experiences or internalised self-doubt. Challenging these thoughts and reminding yourself that everyone, including you, deserves good things can help. The more you practise self-compassion, the easier it becomes to embrace the positive moments without hesitation.
4. You’re scared of losing what you have.
Sometimes, the better things are, the more you’re terrified of losing them. That fear can make you hyper-focused on potential risks, even when everything’s fine. It’s as though you believe the higher you climb, the harder the fall will be. While the fear can feel protective, it often creates unnecessary worry that overshadows your current happiness. Instead of letting fear take over, practising gratitude for what you have can change your focus to the present, helping you appreciate the good things while they’re here.
5. You associate happiness with vulnerability.
When you’re happy, it can feel like you have more to lose, which might leave you feeling exposed. That level of vulnerability can be unsettling, as it makes the possibility of pain or disappointment feel even bigger. You might find yourself pulling back emotionally to protect yourself from potential hurt. However, avoiding vulnerability also means avoiding deeper connections and richer experiences. Learning to sit with the discomfort of vulnerability can make joy feel less intimidating. It’s about trusting that even if things change, you’ll be okay in the end.
6. You’ve experienced trauma in the past.
If you’ve been through tough or traumatic experiences, happiness might feel fleeting or unsafe. Your brain may be wired to expect danger even when there’s no sign of it. That lingering fear can make good moments feel unfamiliar or even suspicious. Overcoming this response takes time and patience. Acknowledging how your past influences your present can be a powerful step toward feeling more secure in moments of happiness. Therapy or self-reflection can help you reframe these patterns and embrace positive experiences without fear.
7. You overanalyse everything and get stuck in a loop.
If you’re prone to overthinking, you might find yourself dissecting why everything is going so well, searching for flaws or hidden problems. Unfortunately, your tendency to overanalyse can turn even the happiest situations into sources of stress, as your mind creates problems that don’t actually exist. Learning to let go of the need to control or predict everything can bring a sense of relief. Focusing on what’s real rather than hypothetical scenarios allows you to enjoy the moment without letting anxiety cloud your perception.
8. You fear becoming complacent.
When things are going smoothly, you might worry that you’ll lose your edge or stop striving for improvement. The fear of complacency can make it hard to relax, as you’re constantly pushing yourself to do more or achieve more, even when it’s unnecessary. Recognising that it’s okay to pause and enjoy your successes is important. Resting or appreciating the moment doesn’t mean you’re giving up — it means you’re taking the time to recharge and reflect before moving forward again.
9. You’ve learned to expect disappointment.
For some, feeling anxious when things are going well comes from a history of being let down. If life has conditioned you to believe that happiness is always temporary, you might struggle to trust that good things can last. Challenging that belief involves recognising that the past doesn’t dictate the future. It’s about reminding yourself that it’s possible for good moments to exist without an impending downside, allowing yourself to trust in the positivity of the present.
10. You struggle with control issues.
When life is going well, it might feel like you’re not in control, as though everything could change at any moment. The lack of control can trigger anxiety, even when there’s no real reason to worry, and the fear of the unknown can overshadow your ability to enjoy the present. Accepting that not everything needs to be within your grasp can bring a sense of freedom. Life’s unpredictability doesn’t always mean disaster, though. It can also bring unexpected joys. Learning to trust the process can make the good moments feel less fragile.
11. You’ve tied happiness to achievement.
If you associate happiness with constantly achieving or being productive, you might feel anxious when there’s nothing to “work toward.” Happiness for its own sake can feel unfamiliar, as though it needs to be earned or justified. Reframing the way you see things involves understanding that you’re allowed to feel good simply because you exist, not because you’ve crossed something off a list. Letting go of the need to constantly achieve can open the door to a more sustainable and fulfilling sense of joy.
12. You’re afraid of everyone judging you.
Sometimes, anxiety about things going well comes from worrying about how everyone else will see your happiness. You might feel guilty for having something other people don’t, or worry that people will judge you for enjoying your success or good fortune. The problem is that your fear can prevent you from fully celebrating your happiness. Embracing the idea that everyone’s journey is different can help you let go of the guilt. Your joy doesn’t take away from someone else’s. In fact, it’s a reminder of what’s possible for everyone.
13. You focus too much on “what ifs.”
When things are going well, it’s easy to get caught up in “what if this doesn’t last?” or “what if something bad happens?” Constantly focusing on hypothetical situations can drain the joy out of your current experience, leaving you stuck in a cycle of worry. Shifting your attention to “what is” rather than “what if” can help break the pattern. Grounding yourself in the present moment allows you to appreciate the good without letting fear of the unknown take over.
14. You struggle to trust happiness itself.
Sometimes, happiness feels too good to be true, as though it’s a trick or something temporary that will be snatched away. Your mistrust might come from past disappointments or a belief that good things always come with a catch. Rebuilding trust in happiness involves reminding yourself that joy doesn’t have to be conditional or fleeting. Allowing yourself to embrace it fully, without questioning its validity, creates a healthier relationship with the positive moments in life.
