The people in our lives should ultimately add to it, but sadly, some relationships have the opposite effect.
No matter how much you care about someone or how long they’ve been in your life, that doesn’t mean your connection — friendship, romantic relationship, or family ties — is doing you any good. If you relate to any of the following when it comes to someone in your life, they’re emotionally draining you, and that’s no good.
1. Every conversation feels heavy.
If you leave every chat feeling down or burdened, it could be a sign they’re bringing more negativity than you can handle. Heavy conversations now and then are normal, but constantly shouldering their emotional load can leave you exhausted. Relationships should lift you up, not drag you down.
2. They always need something from you.
It’s great to support friends, but if this person is always in need of advice, favours, or sympathy without offering much in return, it’s a one-sided dynamic. You deserve relationships that feel mutual. Recognising this pattern can help you set boundaries for your own emotional well-being.
3. They make small problems seem huge.
If they’re always blowing things out of proportion or focusing on every minor issue, it can be mentally draining. Exaggerating problems often puts you in a position to constantly comfort or reassure them. You don’t have to be their constant fixer—it’s okay to let them manage their own stress.
4. They’re often in fights or having drama with someone.
People who constantly have issues with other people tend to bring drama along with them. If their life is always filled with conflict, it can feel like you’re pulled into their whirlwind. Distance can help you avoid getting caught up in endless cycles of drama that aren’t yours to handle.
5. They frequently guilt-trip you.
Guilt-tripping is a subtle way of controlling people, making you feel bad for not meeting their needs or expectations. If you constantly feel guilty around them, it’s a sign they’re draining you. Healthy relationships don’t rely on guilt—they’re about mutual respect and understanding.
6. They monopolise conversations.
If this person always dominates the conversation, rarely giving you the chance to speak, it’s a sign of an imbalanced relationship. Constantly being on the listening end without being heard yourself can feel exhausting. A balanced exchange lets you feel like your voice matters too.
7. They ignore your boundaries.
When someone regularly crosses your boundaries, it’s a sign they’re prioritising their needs over your comfort. Ignoring boundaries shows a lack of respect, which can quickly lead to burnout. Reinforcing your boundaries is key to protecting your energy and well-being.
8. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
If you’re always careful about what you say or do around them to avoid triggering a reaction, that’s a sign they’re draining you. Constant tension isn’t healthy and keeps you from being yourself. In healthy relationships, you can relax without fearing overreactions.
9. They rarely express gratitude.
If this person never acknowledges your support or kindness, it can make you feel unappreciated. Appreciation is essential in any relationship; without it, you’re likely to feel taken for granted. You deserve to feel valued for the energy you bring to other people’s lives.
10. They complain but don’t change.
Everyone vents now and then, but if this person is constantly complaining without making any effort to change, it can feel draining. You’re left hearing the same issues repeatedly without seeing progress. Encouraging them to take action can help, but you’re not responsible for solving their problems.
11. They keep bringing up the past.
If someone constantly brings up past grievances or issues, it can make moving forward feel impossible. Rehashing old problems often prevents you both from enjoying the present. Letting go of old grudges and focusing on the now brings more positivity and freedom to the relationship.
12. They get defensive easily.
If even gentle feedback or honesty leads to defensiveness, it can make every interaction feel like a minefield. You might end up censoring yourself just to avoid upsetting them, which is emotionally taxing. Open communication is essential, and defensiveness limits real connection.
13. They lack empathy for your struggles.
If they’re quick to share their own problems but seem uninterested when you’re going through a tough time, it’s a one-sided dynamic. Mutual empathy is the core of supportive relationships. Your feelings are just as important as theirs, and you deserve a friend who shows that.
14. You feel relieved when they leave.
If you feel lighter or relieved once they’re gone, it’s a clear sign they’re draining you. Relationships should leave you feeling connected, not exhausted. Pay attention to that sense of relief—it’s a good indicator that some space might be exactly what you need.
