It’s not always easy to ‘fess up when you’ve done something wrong.
It can be uncomfortable, even downright painful sometimes, but dodging accountability doesn’t make problems disappear; it usually just makes them worse. We’ve all seen it – the friend who’s always got an excuse, the colleague who blames everyone else, or the partner who never seems to own up to their mistakes. It can be frustrating, here are some of the lengths people will go to in order to avoid taking responsibility for their behaviour.
1. They play the blame game.
This one’s a classic. Instead of owning up to their mistakes, they point fingers at everyone else. It’s always someone else’s fault, never theirs. Whether it’s the weather, their boss, or even their pet goldfish, there’s always an external factor to blame. It’s a quick and easy way to avoid facing the music, but it doesn’t solve anything in the long run.
2. They make excuses.
Excuses are like a comfy blanket, providing a temporary shield from accountability. “I was tired,” “I didn’t have enough time,” or “I didn’t know any better” are all common refrains. While there might be some truth to these excuses, if they’re used constantly, it’s a sign that someone is avoiding taking ownership of their actions.
3. They minimise their role in the situation.
This tactic involves downplaying their involvement or impact on a situation. They might say things like, “It wasn’t that big of a deal,” or “I didn’t really do anything wrong.” By minimising their role, they try to avoid the consequences of their actions and shift the focus away from their own responsibility.
4. They deflect or change the subject.
When confronted with their mistakes, some people try to deflect attention by bringing up unrelated issues or changing the subject altogether. This can be a clever tactic to avoid accountability, but it’s also incredibly frustrating for those trying to have a productive conversation. It’s like trying to catch a fish that keeps slipping through your net.
5. They gaslight or manipulate the situation.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone tries to make you doubt your own reality. They might deny saying or doing something, twist your words, or make you feel like you’re going crazy. It’s a sneaky way to avoid taking responsibility and can leave you feeling confused and powerless.
6. They promise to change, but never follow through.
This is a common pattern with people who struggle to take responsibility. They might apologise profusely, promise to do better next time, and even shed a few tears. But when faced with a similar situation, they often fall back into the same old patterns. It’s a cycle of empty promises that can be exhausting and disheartening for those around them.
7. They become defensive and lash out.
When confronted with their mistakes, some people react with anger or defensiveness. They might raise their voice, become verbally abusive, or even physically lash out. This behaviour is a way of deflecting attention from their own wrongdoings and intimidating people into backing down. It’s a toxic tactic that can damage relationships and create a hostile environment.
8. They avoid tough conversations altogether.
Some people simply avoid any conversation that might lead to them having to take responsibility. They might ghost you, ignore your calls and messages, or even disappear for days on end. This avoidance behaviour is a way of escaping accountability, but it also prevents any chance of resolving the issue or moving forward.
9. They play the victim.
Instead of owning up to their mistakes, some people will try to paint themselves as the victim. They exaggerate their suffering, blame everyone else for the bad stuff in their lives, or try to elicit sympathy to avoid facing the consequences of their actions. This tactic can be effective in manipulating people and deflecting attention away from their own responsibility.
10. They use passive-aggressive behaviour.
Passive-aggressive behaviour is a sneaky way of expressing anger or resentment without directly addressing the issue. It can manifest as sarcastic comments, backhanded compliments, or subtle sabotage. People who use this tactic might avoid taking responsibility by making people feel uncomfortable or guilty without explicitly stating their grievances.
11. They intellectualise their way out of accountability.
Some people try to avoid responsibility by over-analysing or intellectualising the situation. They might get caught up in theoretical debates, philosophical discussions, or abstract concepts to avoid dealing with the emotional impact of their actions. This tactic can be a way of distancing themselves from the problem and avoiding any real sense of accountability.
12. They compare themselves to other people to justify their behaviour.
“Well, at least I’m not as bad as so-and-so” is a common refrain from people who are trying to avoid taking responsibility. They might compare themselves to people who have done worse things or made bigger mistakes to make their own actions seem less significant. This tactic is not only unhelpful, but also dismissive of the impact their actions might have had on the people around them.
13. They focus on their intentions rather than the impact of their actions.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” is a common excuse used by people who are trying to avoid taking responsibility. While intentions are important, they don’t erase the impact of our actions. It’s crucial to acknowledge the consequences of our behaviour, even if we didn’t intend to cause harm.
14. They simply refuse to acknowledge the problem.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, the most frustrating tactic is simply refusing to acknowledge that there’s a problem at all. They might act like nothing happened, ignore your attempts to discuss the issue, or pretend that everything is fine. This denial of reality can be incredibly damaging to relationships and prevent any chance of resolution or healing.
