Narcissists know exactly what to say to tear their victims down.
They’re not always outright insults — in fact, most of the time, their words are much subtler and more underhanded, which is why they’re so much harder to spot until it’s too late. Here are just some of the things they’ll throw your way to eat away at your self-worth little by little. Don’t let them do it to you!
1. “You’re being too sensitive.”
Source: Unsplash Narcissists often dismiss your feelings by accusing you of being overly emotional. When you point out hurtful behaviour, they deflect by suggesting the problem lies with your reactions. Their dismissal makes you second-guess your emotions, silencing your instinct to call out mistreatment. Over time, you may start suppressing your feelings altogether.
2. “Sorry, but you’ll never find anyone better than me.”
Source: Unsplash This manipulative remark is meant to make you feel like no one else would value you. It’s a way to keep you dependent on their approval, even when they’re treating you poorly. This kind of psychological manipulation creates self-doubt and discourages you from pursuing healthier connections.
3. “You’re imagining things.”
Source: Unsplash Gaslighting at its core, this phrase makes you question your reality. When you confront them about inconsistencies or troubling behaviour, they deny it outright, leaving you confused. This tactic undermines your trust in your own perceptions, making you increasingly reliant on their version of events.
4. “I was just joking; don’t take everything so seriously.”
Source: Unsplash When narcissists use humour as a cover for cruelty, they deflect blame by insisting you can’t take a joke. This minimises the harm of their words and shifts the focus onto your supposed inability to relax. It’s a subtle yet damaging way to excuse their behaviour while invalidating your feelings.
5. “No one else would tolerate you.”
Source: Unsplash This deeply hurtful comment is designed to make you feel unworthy of love or kindness from anyone else. By framing themselves as your only option, they encourage dependency and control. Over time, this message destroys your self-worth, making you feel trapped in the relationship.
6. “You’re not as smart as you think.”
Source: Unsplash Undermining your intelligence is a direct way to diminish your confidence. Whether it’s delivered as a casual remark or a pointed insult, it’s meant to make you doubt your abilities. This constant critique creates a dynamic where they position themselves as superior, leaving you feeling inferior and insecure.
7. “You’re kinda lucky to have me.”
Source: Unsplash By exaggerating their value in your life, narcissists attempt to make you feel like you should be grateful for their presence. This tactic shifts attention away from their faults while minimising your contributions. It’s a calculated way to make you feel dependent on them, even if the relationship is toxic.
8. “You’re definitely overreacting.”
Source: Unsplash When you express your emotions or confront their behaviour, they might dismiss your concerns as exaggerated. This invalidates your experience and creates self-doubt about whether your feelings are justified. Over time, it can make you hesitant to voice your concerns, silencing your needs in the relationship.
9. “Why can’t you be more like [someone else]?”
Comparing you to other people is a direct attack on your sense of self. It’s their way of implying that you’re not good enough as you are, while holding up someone else as the ideal. This tactic leaves you feeling inadequate and constantly striving for approval that’s deliberately out of reach.
10. “You’re twisting my words.”
Source: Unsplash When you confront them about something they’ve said, they may accuse you of misinterpreting their intent. This deflection avoids accountability and places the burden back on you. It’s a subtle way to make you question your ability to understand what’s really happening.
11. “Everyone thinks you’re difficult.”
Claiming that other people share their negative opinion is a form of social manipulation. It creates a false narrative that isolates you from potential support systems. This kind of lie makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone, reinforcing your dependence on them.
12. “You’re not trying hard enough.”
Narcissists often shift the blame onto you by suggesting that your effort is insufficient. Whether it’s about your career, relationship, or appearance, this criticism creates a cycle where you constantly seek their validation. It leaves you feeling like you’ll never measure up, no matter how hard you try.
13. “I’m only saying this because I care about you.”
Disguising criticism as concern is a subtle but effective tactic. They frame hurtful comments as acts of love, making you feel guilty for reacting negatively. This manipulative phrasing blurs the line between genuine care and control, leaving you questioning their intentions and your own feelings.
14. “You’re becoming such a burden.”
Source: Unsplash LLabellingyou as a burden is a devastating way to chip away at your self-esteem. This remark suggests that your needs and presence are inherently problematic. It’s designed to make you feel guilty for existing and reliant on their conditional approval for self-worth.
