Many Brits view Americans as our annoying little siblings across the pond, and in many ways, that’s true.
As a much younger country, they lack the history and tradition that we have in the UK, and many would say they also lack the sophistication we (think) we have. Here are just a few things Brits feel a bit snobby about when comparing ourselves to our Yankee friends — and don’t worry, it’s all in good fun!
1. The proper use of kettles
While Americans microwave their water for tea (the horror), every British home has a kettle ready for action. It’s not just about making tea — it’s about doing things properly. The sight of someone heating water in a microwave is enough to make a Brit’s eye twitch. When Americans visit, we showcase our rapid-boiling kettles like they’re revolutionary technology.
2. The art of queuing
Watching Americans navigate a queue is like watching chaos in motion. Meanwhile, Brits could write a doctoral thesis on proper queue etiquette. We silently judge anyone who doesn’t understand the sacred rules of the queue, while taking pride in our ability to form an orderly line anywhere — even if we’re the only one in it.
3. The superiority of chocolate
Hershey’s tastes like someone tried to describe chocolate to an alien who then attempted to recreate it. British chocolate, with its higher cocoa content and actual dairy, is properly indulgent. We’ll never understand how Americans can be satisfied with their waxy bars, and we’ll definitely pack our suitcases with Dairy Milk when visiting.
4. The NHS
Despite our constant complaints about wait times and funding — and admittedly, the system is severely broken and needs a massive overhaul, not to mention billions in funding — we know we’ve got it good. The idea of getting a bill for an ambulance ride feels dystopian to us. We might grumble about our healthcare system, but watching American medical dramas reminds us how lucky we are to never see a hospital bill.
5. Proper football
It’s played with your feet, hence the name. American football involves carrying an egg-shaped ball while wearing enough padding to survive a small explosion. We’ll never understand why they called it football, and we take great pleasure in pointing this out whenever possible.
6. The joy of roundabouts
While Americans sit at four-way stops playing an awkward game of “no, you go first,” we smoothly navigate our roundabouts with practised ease. They’re efficient, they keep traffic flowing, and they don’t require electricity to function. Plus, we get to watch American tourists approach them with visible fear.
7. Proper pub culture
Our pubs have been around longer than their country. These aren’t just places to drink — they’re institutions with centuries of history, proper ales at proper temperatures, and unspoken rules about rounds that Americans never quite grasp. The concept of a “British pub” in America makes us chuckle.
8. Real history
When Americans talk about their “old” buildings, we can’t help but smirk. We’ve got pubs older than their constitution. Our local church probably predates Columbus, and we’ve got castles that have seen more drama than all of their reality TV combined. We casually mention our 12th-century local as if it’s nothing special.
9. The art of sarcasm
While Americans often need a verbal warning label for sarcasm, we Brits consider it our native language. Our ability to deliver cutting remarks with a pleasant smile is practically an art form. We take particular pride in watching Americans try to decipher whether we’re being serious or not.
10. Biscuit superiority
What Americans call cookies barely scratch the surface of proper biscuit culture. We have entire rituals built around dunking different types of biscuits in tea, with complex rules about optimal dunking times. Their Oreos are child’s play compared to our Rich Tea timing techniques.
11. Weather complaints
Nobody does weather-related small talk quite like us. Americans might have tornadoes and hurricanes, but we’ve elevated mild drizzle into an art form of conversation. Our ability to discuss slight changes in cloud coverage for hours on end is unmatched, and we’re secretly proud of it.
12. Television advertising
Our ad breaks are civilised affairs, not the marathon sessions Americans endure. We don’t need medication adverts listing side effects longer than the actual programme. The fact that we can watch a show without being interrupted every five minutes feels like a victory for civilisation.
13. The metric system
Yes, we still use miles and pints, but at least we’ve embraced metric where it counts. Americans’ steadfast refusal to join the rest of the world in measuring things sensibly gives us a sense of superiority, even if we do still weigh ourselves in stones.
14. Christmas crackers
The American Christmas experience seems incomplete without the proper ceremony of terrible jokes, paper crowns, and tiny plastic toys. We might complain about the quality of cracker jokes, but we secretly love explaining this bizarre tradition to bewildered Americans who can’t understand why we’re wearing paper hats at dinner.
