Most parents mean well, but sometimes they just don’t realise how their actions can make their kids want to disappear into thin air.
Sure, a certain amount of embarrassment is par for the course when you’re growing up — parents are mortifying, after all — but if you care about your kids’ happiness and their reputation, try to keep these things to a minimum.
1. Dancing in public without warning
The music starts playing in the grocery store, and suddenly Mum busts out her signature moves in the produce section. The dancing spreads to other aisles, complete with finger pointing and hip swaying. Other shoppers start staring while she encourages everyone to join in. The phone stays firmly in the pocket because no one needs evidence of this moment. The security cameras catch everything anyway.
2. Using outdated slang in front of friends
Dad drops “radical” and “groovy” into conversations with teenage friends. He keeps trying to work “yeet” into sentences without understanding what it means. The whole friend group goes silent, wondering if he’s serious. The car ride home becomes a mandatory vocabulary lesson. Next week, he shows up with a new word he found on Urban Dictionary.
3. Sharing baby stories at the worst moments
The first meeting with a new girlfriend turns into story time about toddler bathroom accidents. Photo albums appear out of nowhere, full of bathtub pictures and embarrassing Halloween costumes. The stories get more detailed with each telling. Yesterday’s achievements mean nothing compared to that cute thing from fifteen years ago. The photos end up in group chats with extended family.
4. Becoming social media detectives
Every post gets a comment within seconds of hitting upload. Mum tags her child in ancient memes she found while scrolling late at night. Friend requests go out to everyone who likes a status. The notification count becomes a source of daily dread. Screenshots of posts end up in family email chains.
5. Trying to decode text conversations
Reading messages over shoulders and asking for translations of every abbreviation. Questions about who’s texting lead to full investigations about new friends. Screenshots get sent to ask what certain emojis mean. Private conversations become family discussions at dinner. Random Google searches about teen slang fill the search history.
6. Making small talk with every cashier
The checkout line becomes a chance to share life stories with complete strangers. Personal details about the family spread to random store employees. Other customers start sighing as the conversation drags on. The five-minute errand stretches into a thirty-minute social event. Phone numbers get exchanged for future coffee meetups.
7. Shouting across crowded places
Names echo through the mall as parents try to locate their kids between stores. Public announcements about meeting spots happen at maximum volume. Everyone in the food court learns about the family’s dinner plans. Heads turn while parents wave frantically from escalators. Security guards start approaching with concerned looks.
8. Taking endless photos at normal moments
The camera comes out for everyday activities like putting on shoes or eating breakfast. Multiple retakes happen until the “natural” shot looks perfect. Friends start declining invitations to avoid becoming part of the photo session. The school drop-off turns into an impromptu photoshoot. The phone storage fills up with hundreds of nearly identical pictures.
9. Asking questions about dating life loudly
Interrogations about crushes start in the middle of busy restaurants. Dating advice gets shouted across the house with relatives visiting. Private matters become public knowledge at family gatherings. Random classmates get mentioned as potential matches during parent-teacher conferences. The school guidance counsellor receives weekly emails about social development.
10. Dressing inappropriately for school events
Pyjama pants make appearances at afternoon pickup. Old college sweatshirts with questionable phrases show up at parent meetings. Mismatched outfits become the talk of school functions. The dress code applies to students, but parents missed the memo. The yearbook photographer catches everything on camera.
11. Making friends with other kids
Parents start using teenager slang with friends during sleepovers. They hang around trying to join conversations at parties. Group chats get created to coordinate events nobody asked for. The line between parent and buddy disappears at the worst moments. Friend requests flood social media accounts the next morning.
12. Correcting behaviour in front of others
Table manners get addressed during dinner at friends’ houses. Public reminders about standing up straight happen in crowded places. Full names come out when other kids are around. Personal habits become topics for group discussion. The school principal receives weekly behaviour updates.
13. Trying to be tech experts
Explanations about internet safety start during gaming sessions with friends. Parents share articles about screen time in group chats. New apps get investigated with extreme suspicion. The Wi-Fi password becomes a bargaining tool for everything. Parental control software appears on every device overnight.
14. Making bad jokes to impress friends
Dad jokes appear at the worst possible moments during hangouts. Puns get repeated until someone acknowledges them. Old catchphrases come back from childhood TV shows. The silence after each joke gets longer every time. The jokes start showing up in school presentations.
