Life changes, and so do we — that’s kind of the whole point of existence.
Sometimes, those changes feel exciting and necessary, but other times, you might find yourself longing for a past version of yourself — the one who was more confident, carefree, creative, or just happier. It’s natural to feel disconnected from who you used to be, especially after big life events, stress, or personal struggles. Of course, you’re still that person, even if they feel far away. If you’re feeling out of touch with yourself, here are some things you can do to get to the core of that emotion and work your way through it.
1. Reflect on what exactly you miss.
Before you can reconnect with your old self, it helps to pinpoint exactly what you miss. Is it your sense of adventure? Your confidence? Your social life? Or just a general feeling of being happier and more carefree? Understanding what has changed makes it easier to figure out how to bring parts of that version of yourself back.
Sometimes, it’s not that you want to go back in time, but rather that you want to reclaim certain qualities that made you feel like yourself. Maybe you used to be more spontaneous, or you had hobbies that made you feel alive. Identifying these aspects can help you take intentional steps to integrate them into your current life.
2. Revisit old passions and hobbies.
Source: Unsplash One of the easiest ways to reconnect with your old self is to return to the things that used to make you happy. If you loved painting, writing, playing an instrument, or running marathons, but somehow drifted away from them, now is the time to start again.
Even if you feel rusty or out of practice, the point isn’t to be perfect — it’s to rekindle the feeling of excitement and purpose those activities once gave you. Sometimes, picking up an old hobby can instantly transport you back to a version of yourself that you thought was long gone.
3. Spend time with people who knew you back then.
Sometimes, reconnecting with old friends or family members can help remind you of who you used to be. People who knew you during different phases of your life can offer valuable perspective, bringing up memories or personality traits that you may have forgotten.
Whether it’s a childhood friend, an old colleague, or a family member who has always supported you, spending time with those who knew you before can help bring elements of your old self back to the surface. They might even remind you of strengths and qualities you didn’t realise you had lost.
4. Look through old photos, journals, or playlists.
Memories have a way of reconnecting us to who we were. Looking through old pictures, reading journal entries from the past, or listening to the music you loved during different life stages can bring up emotions and insights about the person you miss.
Sometimes, a small reminder like a song from your teenage years or a note you wrote to yourself years ago can reignite a spark. It’s not about dwelling on the past, but rather using those moments to rediscover parts of yourself that you still want to hold onto.
5. Change up your routine.
Feeling disconnected from yourself can sometimes be a result of getting stuck in a monotonous routine. If your life has become repetitive, predictable, or uninspiring, shaking things up can help you rediscover excitement and spontaneity.
Try something different — take a new route to work, change your daily habits, or sign up for an activity that challenges you. Small changes can have a big impact on how you feel about yourself, making life feel fresh again instead of a constant cycle of sameness.
6. Let go of unrealistic comparisons.
It’s easy to compare your current self to your past self and feel like you’ve somehow “lost” something. But the truth is, people evolve. Just because you were a certain way at one point in time doesn’t mean you’re supposed to stay that way forever.
Instead of longing for an idealised version of yourself, try to see your past as inspiration, not competition. Growth doesn’t mean losing who you were—it means integrating the best parts of your old self with the person you are becoming.
7. Get back into physical movement.
Exercise isn’t just good for your body — it’s also one of the fastest ways to reconnect with your mind and emotions. If you miss feeling strong, energetic, or confident like you did in the past, moving your body can help bring that feeling back.
It doesn’t have to be intense. Whether it’s yoga, dancing, swimming, or just going for a walk, physical movement can bring back a sense of vitality that you’ve been missing. Often, feeling disconnected from yourself is tied to feeling stagnant, and movement is one of the best ways to shake that off.
8. Create something new.
Sometimes, the reason you miss your old self is that you’ve stopped creating. Whether it was art, writing, music, or even just coming up with new ideas, creativity has a way of bringing out parts of ourselves that we might have buried under responsibilities and routine.
Even if you don’t consider yourself an artist, engaging in creative activities can reignite your sense of self. Try journaling, taking photos, or even just doodling — anything that allows you to express yourself without overthinking.
9. Spend time alone without distractions.
Source: Unsplash Modern life is filled with constant noise — social media, emails, work, and endless obligations. If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, carving out time to just be alone with your thoughts can help you figure out what’s missing.
Take a solo walk, sit in a quiet space, or spend time in nature without distractions. Let yourself process feelings without rushing to “fix” them. Sometimes, just sitting with yourself is enough to start the process of reconnection.
10. Give yourself permission to grieve the past.
Missing your old self can come with a sense of loss, and that’s okay. Life moves forward, and change, whether good or bad, can sometimes feel like leaving behind a version of yourself that you weren’t ready to say goodbye to.
Instead of pushing those feelings away, allow yourself to acknowledge them. Give yourself permission to feel nostalgic, sad, or even frustrated. Processing those emotions fully can help you move forward without feeling stuck in the past.
11. Challenge yourself to do something that scares you.
Source: Unsplash Fear often holds us back from being our fullest selves. If you feel like you’ve lost a sense of confidence or boldness that you used to have, doing something that scares you can help you reclaim it. It doesn’t have to be extreme, either. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, going somewhere new alone, or trying a hobby you’ve always been intimidated by. Facing small fears can remind you of your own resilience and strength.
12. Give yourself a bit of compassion.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to be hard on yourself for feeling disconnected or longing for the past. But the reality is, everyone goes through phases of self-doubt. Instead of beating yourself up for not feeling like “yourself,” try to offer yourself kindness and patience.
Remind yourself that you’re still growing, still learning, and still evolving. You don’t need to have everything figured out right away — just take small steps toward feeling more aligned with who you want to be.
13. Try something completely new.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, the best way to reconnect with yourself isn’t to look backward, but to look forward. Trying something new can give you fresh excitement, new perspectives, and a sense of adventure that might have been missing.
It doesn’t matter if it’s learning a new skill, visiting a place you’ve never been, or meeting new people — stepping outside your comfort zone can help you discover a version of yourself you didn’t even know existed.
14. Remember that you’re still you.
No matter how much life has changed, you are still the same person at your core. The qualities you miss — the confidence, the excitement, the creativity — are still there. They might be buried under stress, change, or time, but they haven’t disappeared. Instead of longing for the past, focus on bringing those qualities into the present. Growth doesn’t erase who you were; it simply adds new layers. You are still you, and you always have been.
