Selflessness is seen as a positive trait, but there are times when you simply have to put yourself first and do what’s in your own best interest.
It doesn’t matter if it makes people angry, disappoints them, or they don’t understand why you’re prioritising yourself. Your own mental, emotional, and physical health are paramount, and in these situations, selfishness is the best possible option.
1. You’re burning out from overcommitment.
When your calendar is overflowing, and you’re stretched thin, it’s time to be selfish with your energy. Start saying no to additional commitments, even if it means disappointing people. Prioritise tasks that are truly important, and let go of obligations that drain you without adding value. This isn’t about being lazy; it’s about preserving your mental and physical health.
2. Your personal goals are slipping away.
If you find yourself constantly putting your dreams on hold to accommodate everyone else, it’s time to reclaim your aspirations. Whether it’s furthering your education, starting a business, or pursuing a passion project, don’t let your personal goals take a back seat. Carve out time and resources for your own ambitions, even if it means being less available for other people’s needs.
3. You’re in a toxic relationship.
When a relationship consistently drains you emotionally or physically, it’s crucial to prioritise your wellbeing. This might mean setting firm boundaries, reducing contact, or even ending the relationship altogether. It’s not selfish to protect yourself from harmful dynamics, whether they’re with a romantic partner, friend, or family member.
4. Your health is suffering.
Source: Unsplash If you’re neglecting your physical health to meet other people’s expectations or demands, it’s time to be selfish. Prioritise regular check-ups, exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep. Cancel plans if you need rest, and don’t feel guilty about taking sick days. Your health is the foundation for everything else in your life.
5. You’re always the one compromising.
Source: Unsplash In any relationship or situation, if you find yourself constantly bending to accommodate people without reciprocation, it’s time to stand firm. Start voicing your preferences and needs. Whether it’s choosing a restaurant or making important life decisions, ensure your voice is heard, and your desires are considered equally.
6. Your financial stability is at risk.
Source: Unsplash When it comes to money, being selfish can be a necessity. If you’re jeopardising your financial security to help people or maintain a certain lifestyle, it’s time to reassess. Don’t feel obligated to lend money you can’t afford to lose or to live beyond your means to keep up appearances. Prioritise your financial health and future stability.
7. You’re losing your sense of self.
Source: Unsplash If you’ve become so focused on pleasing people that you’ve lost touch with who you are, it’s time to reconnect with yourself. Take time for self-reflection, rediscover your interests, and engage in activities that bring you joy, even if they don’t align with other people’s expectations. Your individuality is valuable and worth preserving.
8. Your mental health is deteriorating.
Source: Unsplash When stress, anxiety, or depression are taking over, it’s crucial to prioritise your mental wellbeing. This might mean taking a mental health day, setting boundaries with people who drain you, or dedicating time to activities that promote emotional balance. Don’t hesitate to put your mental health first, even if it means letting people down temporarily.
9. You’re stuck in a career that makes you miserable.
Source: Unsplash If your job is causing constant stress and unhappiness, it’s time to be selfish about your career path. Start exploring other options, even if it means disappointing your current employer or taking a temporary pay cut. Your long-term fulfilment and wellbeing are more important than meeting other people’s expectations of your career trajectory.
10. Your personal space is being invaded.
Source: Unsplash Everyone needs personal space and privacy. If you find your boundaries constantly crossed, whether it’s people dropping by unannounced or expecting immediate responses to messages, it’s time to be selfish with your space and time. Establish clear boundaries and don’t feel guilty about enforcing them.
11. You’re always the peacekeeper.
Source: Unsplash If you constantly find yourself mediating conflicts or smoothing things over at the expense of your own peace, it’s time to step back. It’s not your responsibility to manage everyone else’s relationships or emotions. Let people handle their own dramas and focus on maintaining your own inner calm.
12. Your values are being compromised.
Source: Unsplash When you’re pressured to act against your core beliefs or values, it’s essential to stand firm. Whether it’s in your personal life or professional setting, don’t compromise your integrity to please people or avoid conflict. Being selfish about your values ensures you stay true to yourself and maintain self-respect.
13. You’re neglecting your personal growth.
Source: Unsplash If you’re so busy taking care of other people’s needs that you’re not investing in your own development, it’s time to shift focus. Dedicate time and resources to learning new skills, exploring interests, or working on self-improvement. Your personal growth shouldn’t be sacrificed for the sake of everyone else’s convenience or comfort.
14. You’re always available.
Source: Unsplash Constantly being at everyone’s beck and call can be exhausting and prevent you from focusing on your own priorities. It’s okay to be selfish with your availability. Turn off notifications, set specific hours for responding to non-urgent matters, and allow yourself uninterrupted time for your own tasks and relaxation. Being less available can actually make you more effective when you do engage with people.
