We’ve all been there — heart racing, palms sweating, and mind whirling, yet needing to maintain a cool exterior.
Whether it’s a job interview, public speaking, or a challenging personal situation, appearing calm under pressure is a valuable skill. While it’s normal to feel anxious, there are ways to project composure even when you’re internally frazzled. Here are some practical techniques to help you keep your cool when stress threatens to take over.
1. Take a deep breath and focus on your breathing pattern.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, your breathing often becomes shallow and rapid. By consciously taking a deep breath and focusing on a steady breathing pattern, you can help calm your nervous system. Try inhaling slowly through your nose for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and then exhaling through your mouth for a count of four. This simple technique can help slow your heart rate and create a sense of calm.
2. Maintain good posture to project confidence.
Your body language speaks volumes about your state of mind. Even if you’re feeling shaky inside, standing or sitting up straight with your shoulders back can make you appear more confident. Good posture not only looks composed, but it can also help you feel more in control. As you straighten your spine, imagine a string pulling you up from the crown of your head, lengthening your body and opening your chest.
3. Speak slowly and deliberately to control your voice.
When we’re anxious, we tend to speak quickly and our voice may quaver. By consciously slowing down your speech and enunciating clearly, you can appear more composed. Take brief pauses between sentences to gather your thoughts. This measured way of speaking makes you sound calmer and gives you time to think about what you’re saying, helping you feel more in control of the conversation.
4. Use grounding techniques to stay present in the moment.
Grounding techniques can help you stay focused on the present rather than getting caught up in anxious thoughts. One effective method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Silently name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise engages your senses and can help distract you from internal stress.
5. Keep your hands steady by finding something to hold.
Shaky hands can be a dead giveaway that you’re nervous. If you’re sitting, try resting your hands on your lap or on the table in front of you. If you’re standing, hold a pen, a small object, or clasp your hands together. Having something to do with your hands can help prevent fidgeting and give you a sense of stability. Just be careful not to grip too tightly, as this can increase tension.
6. Maintain eye contact to appear engaged and confident.
Making eye contact is a sign of confidence and engagement. When you’re feeling anxious, it can be tempting to look away or down, but this can make you appear nervous or unsure. Practice maintaining gentle eye contact with the person you’re speaking to. If direct eye contact feels too intense, try looking at the bridge of their nose or between their eyebrows — it will appear as if you’re making eye contact without feeling as intimidating.
7. Use positive self-talk to boost your inner confidence.
The way we talk to ourselves can significantly impact how we feel and behave. When you’re feeling anxious, try to replace negative thoughts with positive, encouraging ones. Remind yourself of past successes or repeat a calming mantra in your head. Phrases like “I can handle this” or “I am calm and capable” can help boost your confidence and reduce internal stress, even if you don’t fully believe them at first.
8. Stay hydrated to keep your voice steady and mind clear.
Dehydration can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and make it harder to think clearly. Keep a glass or bottle of water nearby and take small sips regularly. Not only does this help keep your voice steady, but the act of drinking water can also provide a moment of pause if you need to gather your thoughts. Just be careful not to drink too quickly, as this might lead to unnecessary trips to the loo.
9. Practise progressive muscle relaxation to release physical tension.
Source: Unsplash When we’re anxious, we often hold tension in our muscles without realising it. Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body. Start with your toes and work your way up to your head, tensing each muscle group for a few seconds before relaxing it. This technique can help you become more aware of physical tension and actively release it, helping you appear and feel more relaxed.
10. Use visualisation techniques to create a sense of calm.
Source: Unsplash Take a moment to close your eyes and visualise a peaceful, calming scene. This could be a favourite place, a beautiful landscape, or simply a soothing colour. Engage all your senses in this visualisation — what can you see, hear, smell, and feel in this calm place? This mental escape can help lower your stress levels and give you a moment of respite from anxious thoughts, allowing you to face the situation with renewed composure.
11. Avoid caffeine and sugar to prevent jitters and crashes.
While it might be tempting to reach for a coffee or sugary snack for a quick boost, these can actually increase feelings of anxiety and lead to energy crashes. Instead, opt for water or herbal tea, and choose complex carbohydrates and proteins for sustained energy. These choices can help keep your blood sugar stable and prevent the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as shaking hands or a racing heart.
12. Prepare and practise to boost your confidence.
Source: Unsplash If you know you’ll be facing a potentially stressful situation, preparation can go a long way in helping you feel and appear calm. Whether it’s rehearsing a presentation, researching common interview questions, or role-playing a difficult conversation, being prepared can significantly reduce anxiety. The more familiar you are with the material or situation, the more confident and composed you’ll appear, even if you still feel nervous inside.
13. Use the power of touch to self-soothe.
Physical touch can be incredibly calming, even when it’s self-administered. Try gently pressing your thumb and forefinger together, or lightly stroking your arm. These subtle movements can be done discreetly and can help ground you in the present moment. The gentle pressure or repetitive motion can be soothing and help reduce feelings of anxiety without drawing attention to yourself.
14. Focus on helping someone else to shift your perspective.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try shifting your focus to how you can help or support someone else in the room. This could be as simple as offering to get someone a glass of water or asking if they need any assistance. By focusing on other people, you take the spotlight off yourself and your own anxieties. This shift in perspective can help you feel more in control and appear more confident and composed to those around you.
