Not everyone feels comfortable admitting that they suffer from anxiety.
Maybe they don’t want to seem weak or incapable, or they never really learned how to identify and vocalise their feelings. Either way, their behaviours usually give them away even if their mouths are continually saying, “I’m fine.” Here are some signs someone is feeling anxious to look out for. If you notice them, it may be worth it to start a conversation and offer some support.
1. Their hands never rest.
Watch their hands during normal conversation — hey’re constantly in motion, fiddling with sleeve cuffs, reorganising items on the table, or picking at invisible threads. These restless fingers aren’t just boredom or excess energy. The hands become an outlet for internal tension that needs somewhere to go. This constant movement speaks louder than words about the unsettled state within.
2. They clean things that are already clean.
Source: Unsplash The desk has been organised three times today. Each item perfectly aligned, then realigned again. This isn’t about cleanliness or order anymore — it’s about control. When internal chaos builds, the external environment becomes a canvas for creating order. These repetitive actions serve as anchors when everything else feels uncertain.
3. They overexplain simple decisions.
A basic choice about lunch turns into a detailed explanation of thought processes, justifications, and potential scenarios. Every small decision comes with a full presentation of reasoning. This isn’t about the actual choice — it’s about seeking validation that their thinking makes sense. The stream of explanations reveals a mind that doesn’t trust its own judgment.
4. Their phone becomes a shield.
In social situations, their phone appears more and more frequently, especially during natural conversation lulls. What looks like distraction is actually a safety behaviour. The screen becomes a portable escape hatch from overwhelming moments, offering brief respites from social pressure. Each glance down is a tiny break from having to be present.
5. They check things multiple times.
Keys, wallet, phone — the ritual of checking keeps repeating even though nothing’s moved. Each verification provides a moment of relief that quickly fades. This isn’t forgetfulness; it’s the mind demanding constant reassurance. These repeated checks reveal a brain that doesn’t trust its first, second, or even third confirmation.
6. Their sentences trail off unfinished.
Thoughts start strong but fade into uncertainty, leaving ideas hanging in mid-air. The confident beginning dissolves as self-doubt creeps in. These unfinished sentences reveal a mind second-guessing itself mid-expression. Each trailing thought shows internal editing happening in real time.
7. They create busy work to stay occupied.
Tasks appear out of nowhere — organising files, cleaning already clean spaces, sorting things that don’t need sorting. This manufactured busyness isn’t about productivity. Creating tasks becomes a way to keep the mind occupied when stillness feels threatening. Each invented job serves as a distraction from internal turbulence.
8. Their eating patterns shift noticeably.
Lunch sits untouched, or snacks disappear rapidly throughout the day. Regular eating habits give way to extremes. These changes aren’t about hunger — they’re about control or comfort. Food becomes either impossible to face or a source of momentary escape from overwhelming feelings.
9. They ask for constant reassurance.
Simple tasks end with questions looking for confirmation — “Is this okay?” “Did I do that right?” “Are you sure?” This isn’t about ability or competence. The continuous need for external validation reveals internal doubt that no amount of reassurance seems to quiet.
10. Their breathing becomes shallow.
Watch their shoulders during conversation — they’re rising with each breath instead of their belly expanding. The natural rhythm of breathing shifts higher in the chest. This isn’t just about oxygen anymore — it’s the body’s response to perceived threat. Each shallow breath signals a system on high alert.
11. They talk faster than usual.
Words tumble out at an accelerated pace, as if racing against something unseen. Ideas stack rapidly, sometimes tangling together mid-expression. This speed isn’t excitement — it’s urgency. The increased pace reveals a mind trying to outrun its own thoughts.
12. They withdraw from casual touches.
The usual friendly pat on the shoulder or casual arm touch now causes them to pull back slightly. Personal space expands without explanation. This isn’t about the touch itself — it’s about feeling overwhelmed by additional sensory input. Each withdrawal shows a system already processing too much.
13. They fixate on future scenarios.
Normal conversations keep derailing into “what if” territories about tomorrow, next week, next year. Present moments get lost in future possibilities. This isn’t planning — it’s the mind trying to control what hasn’t happened yet. Each hypothetical reveals attempts to prepare for every possible outcome.
14. They apologise for existing.
Source: Unsplash Sorry becomes their default response — for asking questions, taking space, or simply being present. These aren’t real apologies; they’re verbal filters between them and the world. Each unnecessary “sorry” reveals someone trying to make themselves smaller in response to internal pressure.
