Everyone has their own unique quirks, but putting up with them from other people can be an absolute nightmare.
You might not call people out on them, but inside, you’re probably going to be seething over them nonetheless. These little habits are completely harmless, but they’re annoying nonetheless.
1. They leave time on the microwave without clearing it.
You’re about to heat up your lunch, and there it is — 17 seconds left on the microwave display. It’s not a big deal, really, but it’s like finding a half-eaten biscuit in the tin. You can’t help but wonder, “Who does this?” It’s as if they’ve left a tiny time capsule of their impatience for you to discover. And let’s not even start on the people who stop the microwave with one second to go, thinking they’re secret agents disarming a bomb. It’s just beans, Dave, not a nuclear threat.
2. They use “literally” in every other sentence, figuratively speaking.
The word “literally” has become the Swiss Army knife of emphasis, hasn’t it? People are literally dying of embarrassment, literally over the moon, or literally can’t even. Except they’re not, are they? They’re very much alive, still on Earth, and clearly can, since they managed to tell you about it. It’s as if the word has gone rogue, determined to insert itself into every conversation like an overeager party guest. You find yourself literally (and this time I mean it) gritting your teeth every time you hear it misused.
3. They talk to you while you’re wearing headphones.
There you are, lost in your own little world of music or podcasts, when suddenly someone’s lips are moving in your direction. Do they think your headphones are just elaborate ear warmers? You’re left with the awkward dance of whether to pretend you didn’t notice them or to fumble with your headphones, inevitably missing half of what they said. And don’t get me started on the people who then act miffed that you didn’t hear them. It’s like they’re offended that you weren’t anticipating their every whim while voluntarily deafening yourself.
4. They leave their shopping trolley in the middle of the aisle.
Supermarket aisles are not personal storage units, are they? Yet some people seem to think it’s perfectly fine to park their trolley diagonally across the aisle while they ponder the eternal question of smooth or crunchy peanut butter. It’s like they’ve set up a checkpoint in Aisle 3, and you need to present your passport and shopping list to pass. All you wanted was a pint of milk, not a training session for “Supermarket Sweep”.
5. They use speakerphone in public spaces.
Suddenly, you’re privy to half a conversation about Aunt Mildred’s bunions or the intricacies of someone’s work drama. It’s like being an unwilling audience member in a one-person show you never bought tickets for. The speakerphone user seems oblivious to the fact that their private conversation has now become a public broadcast. You find yourself torn between trying to ignore it and being oddly invested in whether Dave from Accounting ever got that report finished. It’s a special kind of torture, isn’t it?
6. They reply to emails by only changing the subject line.
Source: Unsplash Email etiquette is a minefield, but this particular quirk is like stepping on a communication landmine. You open an email, excited to see a response to your carefully crafted message, only to find… nothing. Well, nothing except a changed subject line that vaguely answers your question. It’s like playing a very frustrating game of email charades. You’re left wondering if they think the subject line is some sort of telegraph where every character costs money. It’s especially baffling when the new subject line is something cryptic like “Re: Yes, but no to the thing”. Which thing? What yes? What no?
7. They insist on telling you the plot of a film you’re currently watching.
You’re settled in, popcorn at the ready, eager to see how the story unfolds. But wait, what’s this? Your viewing companion has apparently decided to audition for the role of DVD commentary. Every plot point, every character introduction, every subtle bit of foreshadowing is narrated in real-time. It’s like they’re worried you might have suddenly gone blind and need an audio description. And heaven forbid if it’s a film they’ve seen before — suddenly they’re a soothsayer, predicting every twist and turn.
8. They use “reply all” for emails that definitely don’t need it.
Source: Unsplash Your inbox pings with a new message. Oh look, it’s a reply to the company-wide email about the broken coffee machine on the third floor. But wait, why has Dave from Accounting (yes, him again) decided that everyone needs to know he prefers tea anyway? Suddenly, your inbox is flooded with replies from people you’ve never met, discussing their beverage preferences in excruciating detail. You find yourself longing for the days of carrier pigeons — at least they couldn’t “reply all”.
9. They walk incredibly slowly in a group that spans the entire pavement.
You’re rushing to catch your train, or you’re just trying to get home after a long day, when you encounter them: the human roadblock. A group of people, spread out across the entire width of the pavement, moving at the speed of continental drift. It’s like they’ve formed a very slow, very chatty barricade. You’re left with the choice of either slowing to their glacial pace or attempting to squeeze past them, muttering “excuse me” with increasing desperation. And when you do manage to get past, they look at you as if you’ve just committed a terrible social faux pas by daring to walk at a normal speed.
10. They use their phone’s keyboard sounds in public.
Click, click, click. The sound of someone furiously tapping away on their phone keyboard echoes through the quiet café or train carriage. It’s like being stuck next to a very small, very persistent woodpecker. You find yourself wondering if they think they’re typing on an old-fashioned typewriter, or if they just really enjoy announcing every letter they type to the world. You’re left imagining all sorts of dramatic scenarios unfolding in their messages, all set to the soundtrack of relentless tapping. It’s enough to make you want to carry around a tiny pair of noise-cancelling headphones, just for their phone.
11. They leave passive-aggressive notes instead of talking to you.
Source: Unsplash You open the office fridge to find a note stuck to your lunch: “I hope you’re enjoying MY yoghurt :)”. Or perhaps you’ve come home to find a Post-it on the bathroom mirror reminding you about the toothpaste cap. It’s like living in a very passive-aggressive library, where direct communication has been replaced by a series of increasingly pointed notes. Before you know it, your living space or office has turned into a passive-aggressive art gallery, with exhibits ranging from “The Dirty Dishes Remonstration” to “Ode to the Thermostat Settings”. All this, when a simple conversation could have sorted everything out in minutes.
12. They interrupt your story to tell their own, vaguely related anecdote.
You’re in the middle of recounting your harrowing tale of getting locked out of your flat, when suddenly, your listener chimes in with their own story about the time they lost their keys at a music festival. It’s like they’ve been waiting with their anecdote cocked and ready, just waiting for the slightest connection to fire it off. You’re left with your story half-told, wondering if you should try to wrestle the conversation back or just let it go. And the worst part? When they finish their story, they rarely remember to let you finish yours.
13. They loudly crunch ice or slurp drinks.
The sound cuts through the air like a sonic boom — someone nearby is treating their ice cubes like they’re in a competitive eating contest. Or perhaps they’re slurping their drink with the enthusiasm of someone trying to empty a swimming pool through a straw. It’s like being trapped in a very noisy ASMR video that you never asked to be part of. You find yourself tensing up, waiting for the next crunch or slurp, unable to focus on anything else.
14. They ask, “Can I ask you a question?” before asking a question.
It’s a question inception — a query within a query. You’ve just been asked if you can be asked something, and now you’re stuck in a bizarre social contract. If you say no, you seem rude. If you say yes, you’ve agreed to answer a question you know nothing about. The worst part is the momentary suspense between the meta-question and the actual question.
15. They use buzzwords and corporate jargon in casual conversation.
Source: Unsplash You’re having a nice chat at a party when suddenly you’re hit with a barrage of “synergy”, “touch base”, and “low-hanging fruit”. It’s like they’ve swallowed a business textbook and are now regurgitating it into casual conversation. You find yourself wondering if they’re trying to impress you, or if they’ve simply forgotten how to speak like a human being.
