Loneliness can sneak up on anyone, and it can affect your behaviour in such subtle ways that you might not even realise it.
Source: Unsplash When people are struggling to connect, they change the way they act and the things they do. While these little quirks aren’t always obvious, if you know what you’re looking for, it’s clear that they’re desperate to feel more connected to the people and world around them.
1. They overshare with strangers.
Ever been stuck in a long conversation with the cashier at your local shop? Lonely people often dump their life stories on unsuspecting strangers. It’s not that they’re trying to be weird — they’re just so starved for connection that they seize any opportunity to talk, even if it’s with someone who’s just trying to scan their groceries.
2. They become obsessed with social media likes.
Source: Unsplash When real-life connections are lacking, some people turn to the digital world for validation. They might spend hours crafting the perfect post, then obsessively check for likes and comments. It’s a way of feeling seen and appreciated, even if it’s just through a screen. The dopamine hit from each notification becomes a substitute for genuine interaction.
3. They anthropomorphise inanimate objects.
Source: Unsplash Talking to plants or naming your appliances might seem quirky, but for lonely people, it can be a coping mechanism. When human connections are scarce, they might start attributing personalities to objects around them. It’s not uncommon for them to have full-blown conversations with their houseplants or car, creating a sense of companionship where there isn’t one.
4. They overcommit to work or hobbies.
Throwing themselves into work or a hobby can be a way for lonely people to avoid confronting their lack of social connections. They might volunteer for every project at work or spend countless hours on a craft. While it looks like dedication from the outside, it’s often a way to fill the void and avoid empty evenings and weekends.
5. They become overly attached to fictional characters.
Binge-watching TV shows or rereading favourite books isn’t unusual, but lonely people might take it a step further. They can develop intense attachments to fictional characters, feeling genuine grief when a series ends or a character dies. These fictional relationships provide a safe, controllable form of emotional connection.
6. They create elaborate scenarios in their head.
Daydreaming is normal, but lonely people might spend hours imagining detailed scenarios of social interactions. They might rehearse conversations that will never happen or imagine themselves in social situations they’re too anxious to actually pursue. It’s a way of experiencing social connection without the risk of real-world rejection.
7. They overspend on unnecessary items.
Retail therapy can be a temporary fix for loneliness. Some people might find themselves constantly buying things they don’t need, just for the brief interaction with a delivery person or the fleeting joy of opening a package. The anticipation of a delivery becomes a substitute for looking forward to social plans.
8. They develop unusual sleep patterns.
Loneliness can wreak havoc on sleep schedules. Some people might stay up late into the night, hoping for a text or social media interaction. Others might sleep excessively to escape feelings of isolation. These erratic sleep patterns can further isolate them from normal social rhythms.
9. They become overly invested in their pets.
Source: Unsplash While loving your pets is normal, lonely people might take it to extremes. They might prioritise their pet’s social life over their own, throwing elaborate birthday parties or spending a fortune on pet accessories. The unconditional love from a pet becomes a stand-in for human relationships.
10. They create online personas.
Source: Unsplash The internet offers endless opportunities to reinvent oneself. Lonely people might create multiple online personas, each living out a different fantasy of social success. These alternate identities allow them to experience different types of connections and acceptance, even if they’re not based in reality.
11. They become fixated on past relationships.
When current connections are lacking, some people might obsess over past relationships. They might stalk ex-partners on social media or repeatedly rehash old interactions in their mind. This fixation on the past prevents them from moving forward and forming new connections.
12. They develop unusual eating habits.
Loneliness can significantly impact eating behaviours. Some might overeat for comfort, while others lose their appetite entirely. Cooking elaborate meals for one or developing strict eating routines can be a way of creating structure and purpose in an otherwise empty day.
13. They become overly agreeable.
To maintain any social connection, lonely people might become overly agreeable. They might suppress their own opinions or preferences, always deferring to other people to avoid conflict. This behaviour can prevent them from forming genuine connections based on mutual understanding and respect.
14. They collect or hoard unnecessary items.
Accumulating stuff can be a way of filling an emotional void. Lonely people might hold on to items long past their usefulness, assigning sentimental value to random objects. The act of collecting or hoarding creates a sense of purpose and fills physical space when emotional spaces feel empty.
15. They overanalyse social interactions.
When social interactions are rare, lonely people tend to dissect them afterwards. They might spend hours replaying a brief conversation in their head, analysing every word and gesture. This overanalysis often leads to self-doubt and anxiety, making future interactions even more daunting.
