There’s no doubt you try to be a good partner, colleague, and family member, but sometimes, you mess up — you’re human, it happens.
Unfortunately, the missteps you make come from bad habits, misunderstandings, or even good intentions gone wrong. The good thing, however, is that being aware of these behaviours helps you connect better, support the people you care about, and just be a better person all around. If you’re guilty of doing any of these things, notice when it’s happening, stop yourself, and vow not to do them anymore. It’ll take practice, but it’ll be well worth it.
1. Interrupting when someone is speaking
Cutting someone off mid-sentence may seem harmless, but it can make them feel unheard or unimportant. You might be excited or eager to share your thoughts, but constantly interrupting can shut people down. Try listening fully and pausing before you respond — it shows respect and patience.
2. Offering unsolicited advice
Your advice comes from a good place, but sometimes people just want to be heard, not fixed. Jumping in with solutions can make them feel like their feelings are being dismissed. Instead, try asking, “Do you want advice or just someone to listen?” before offering your two cents.
3. Constantly checking your phone during conversations
Glancing at your phone while someone’s talking might seem minor, but it sends a message that they’re not your priority. It can make them feel undervalued or ignored. Putting your phone away shows you’re present and genuinely care about what they’re saying.
4. Dismissing other people’s feelings
Saying things like, “It’s not that bad,” or “You’re overreacting” can invalidate someone’s emotions. Even if you mean well, it can come across as dismissive. A simple, “I understand why you feel that way,” shows empathy and helps people feel supported.
5. Being consistently late
Running late now and then happens to everyone, but if it’s a pattern, it can signal that you don’t value anyone else’s time. It can leave people feeling frustrated or unimportant. Aiming to be punctual — or at least giving a heads-up if you’re delayed — shows consideration and respect.
6. Making jokes at someone else’s expense
Teasing can seem like harmless fun, but not everyone shares the same sense of humour. Even playful jabs can hurt if someone’s sensitive about the topic. If you notice someone isn’t laughing, it might be time to rethink the joke. Kind humour goes a long way.
7. Not following through on promises
When you promise to do something and then don’t follow through, it can damage trust. Even small commitments matter. If you can’t keep a promise, it’s better to be honest than to leave someone hanging. Reliability strengthens relationships, so follow through when you can.
8. Comparing people to others
“Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” might seem like motivation, but it often leaves people feeling inadequate. Comparisons can create resentment or self-doubt. Instead, focus on what makes each person unique and valuable — they’ll appreciate it more than you know.
9. Over-sharing your own problems
It’s great to be open, but constantly unloading your troubles can overwhelm people. If every conversation turns into a therapy session for you, it might leave people feeling drained. Balance is key — share your struggles, but make room to support those around you, too.
10. Giving backhanded compliments
Comments like, “You look good for your age,” or “You’re smart for someone who didn’t go to uni,” can sting more than they flatter. Even if you mean well, these “compliments” come with a side of criticism. Stick to straightforward, genuine praise instead.
11. Assuming people know how you feel
Just because you care about someone doesn’t mean they know it. Failing to express gratitude or affection can leave people feeling unappreciated. A simple “Thank you” or “I care about you” can go a long way in making people feel seen and valued.
12. Dominating conversations
If you find yourself talking more than listening, you might be unintentionally sidelining everyone else. Conversations are a two-way street, and everyone deserves a chance to speak. Make a conscious effort to ask questions and listen — it makes people feel included and valued.
13. Dismissing someone’s achievements
When someone shares good news, downplaying it with comments like, “That’s not a big deal,” can feel hurtful. Even if you’re trying to keep things grounded, it can come off as dismissive. Celebrate their wins, no matter how small — enthusiasm is contagious!
14. Being overly critical
Source: Unsplash Offering constructive feedback is helpful, but constant criticism can chip away at someone’s confidence. If your comments focus more on what’s wrong than what’s right, it might be time to adjust. Balance your feedback with praise and encouragement to keep things supportive.
15. Forgetting (or refusing) to apologise
Nobody’s perfect, and sometimes we mess up. Failing to apologise when you’ve hurt someone — even unintentionally — can create distance. A sincere “I’m sorry” shows maturity, humility, and respect. It helps repair trust and shows you care about their feelings.
