You consider yourself a social person, but for some reason, people don’t seem all that keen on hanging out (at least not with you).
It’s entirely unintentional, of course, but you could be doing certain things that make spending time with you not that appealing of an option for people. If you’re guilty of any of these bad habits, it’s no wonder people give getting together a miss. If you switch up your behaviour, you might find your social calendar filling up a bit more!
1. You always make everything about you.
Conversations where you’re always talking about your own problems can get pretty draining. Try listening more and asking about the other person’s life for a change. It’ll help create a more balanced conversation where both people feel valued. That way, you’re more likely to build a real connection instead of just dominating the conversation.
2. You’re obsessed with external validation.
If you’re always asking for compliments or needing people to back up your choices, it can start to feel a bit much. The more you build your confidence from within, the less you’ll need constant reassurance. When you’re more comfortable in your own skin, your relationships become more genuine and less about getting approval.
3. Your mood swings are a bit much.
When you’re constantly shifting moods, it’s hard for people to know how to react to you. They might feel like they’re walking on eggshells, never sure which version of you they’ll get. If you can work on understanding what triggers those shifts and manage your reactions, you’ll create a much more stable and comfortable vibe. People will feel more at ease around you, and you’ll find more meaningful connections.
4. You leave plans hanging, but expect instant availability.
Being flaky and expecting people to always be ready on your terms can frustrate everyone around you. Start making concrete plans and sticking to them, and respect people’s time. When you show reliability, people will be more eager to hang out because they know they can count on you.
5. You swerve tough conversations that need to be had.
Avoiding confrontation doesn’t make issues go away—it just lets them simmer. If you practice having honest, calm conversations when something’s bothering you, it’ll be easier to build trust. People appreciate straightforward communication, and it’ll help you form stronger, more authentic bonds.
6. You bring negativity wherever you go.
Constant complaining or focusing on the negative can drain the energy out of social situations. Try flipping the script with a “complaint sandwich”—balance a negative with a couple of positive comments. Shifting your perspective to focus on the good will make you more enjoyable to be around, and people will start feeding off that positive vibe.
7. You never seem to put in the effort.
If you’re always the one being invited but never the one inviting back, it can make relationships feel one-sided. Take the initiative once in a while—organise a hangout, reach out to check in on a friend. When you show you care by giving as much as you take, your relationships will feel more balanced and rewarding.
8. You spill personal details too quickly.
Sharing too much, too soon can make people uncomfortable. It’s better to let relationships develop naturally, so you can share personal stuff as trust builds. Letting things unfold over time makes the connection stronger, and people will appreciate the space to share their own thoughts when they’re ready.
9. You’re always talking behind people’s backs.
Gossiping or being critical about people can make them question what you’re saying about them when they’re not around. If you focus more on being understanding and less on judgment, your reputation as someone who can be trusted will grow. People like to hang out with those who have their back, not the ones spreading drama.
10. You always have to one-up everyone.
Turning every conversation into a competition just makes things uncomfortable. Instead, celebrate what other people are doing well and join in on their excitement. When you stop trying to one-up everyone and start supporting those around you, you’ll create a more relaxed, fun atmosphere that encourages real connections.
11. You’re always cancelling at the last minute.
Being unreliable can really put people off. If you commit to something, try your best to stick to it. People will appreciate your consistency, and you’ll build stronger friendships because they’ll know they can count on you when you say you’ll show up.
12. You don’t care about what other people are passionate about.
If you belittle or show no interest in someone’s hobbies or passions, it makes them feel like you’re not valuing them. Even if something isn’t your cup of tea, show some curiosity. It’s a way of connecting, and you might even learn something new along the way, all while making people feel seen and appreciated.
13. You turn down the opportunity to try new things.
Saying no to every new idea or adventure limits the fun you could be having with people. Try being a bit more open to stepping outside your comfort zone. Even if it’s not something you’d normally choose, being willing to try new things shows you value the experience and the company. Plus, it can lead to some surprising new memories.
14. You assume things without asking.
Jumping to conclusions without taking the time to understand what’s really going on creates unnecessary misunderstandings. Instead of assuming, ask questions to get the full picture. This way, you build a more respectful and understanding connection with those around you.
15. You forget important stuff about other people.
When you forget things that matter to your friends—like special dates or big events—it can make them feel like you’re not really invested in the relationship. Make an effort to remember the details and check in on them when it counts. That little bit of effort shows you genuinely care, and it will deepen your bond over time.
