Nobody’s perfect, and there will be times when you handle situations in a less than ideal way.
Source: Unsplash Whether you were upset, confused, or highly emotional, your reactions weren’t necessarily commensurate with the situation, or maybe the things you said and did came out in the heat of the moment and didn’t reflect your true feelings. Either way, here’s how you know you could have gone about things in a better way.
1. You’re replaying the conversation in your head over and over again.
Source: Unsplash Can’t stop thinking about what you said or did? So much mental replay is often a sign that something doesn’t sit right with you. Your brain might be trying to process the event, looking for ways you could’ve responded differently. It’s normal, but if it’s happening regularly, it might be time to reflect on your actions.
2. You’re feeling a mix of guilt and defensiveness.
Source: Unsplash That uncomfortable blend of emotions where you feel bad but also want to justify your actions is a classic indicator that you’re not entirely comfortable with how things played out. Internal conflict often arises when we know we could’ve done better, but aren’t quite ready to admit it to ourselves.
3. You’re avoiding the person or place involved.
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself taking the long way to work to avoid bumping into someone or skipping your favourite café because of a recent interaction, it might be because you’re not proud of how you behaved. Avoidance is a subconscious way of protecting yourself from confronting the situation.
4. You’re having trouble sleeping or concentrating.
Source: Unsplash When our actions don’t align with our values, it can cause mental anguish. That might manifest as having trouble falling asleep or staying focused during the day. If a particular situation is keeping you up at night, it’s worth examining why it’s affecting you so deeply.
5. You’re experiencing physical symptoms of stress.
Source: Unsplash Our bodies often react to emotional turmoil before our minds fully process it. Headaches, stomach aches, or tension in your shoulders could be physical manifestations of the stress you’re feeling about the situation. Pay attention to these bodily signals — they’re often trying to tell you something.
6. You’re looking for validation from other people about your actions.
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself constantly retelling the story to friends or family, fishing for reassurance that you were in the right, it might be because deep down, you’re not convinced yourself. While getting perspective from other people can be helpful, repeatedly looking for validation often points to lingering doubt about your actions.
7. You’re making excuses or blaming external factors.
Source: Unsplash Catch yourself saying things like “I was just having a bad day” or “They made me do it”? While these factors might have contributed to the situation, consistently deflecting responsibility could be a sign that you’re avoiding confronting your own role in how things unfolded.
8. You’re experiencing a sense of regret or “what if” thoughts.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly thinking about alternative scenarios or wishing you could go back in time, you’re obviously not satisfied with how things played out. So much rumination often means that you recognise there were better ways to handle the situation.
9. You’re overcompensating in your interactions with the person involved.
Source: Unsplash Are you suddenly being overly nice or accommodating to someone after a difficult interaction? While it might come from a good place, this behaviour can sometimes be a subconscious attempt to make up for previous actions you’re not proud of.
10. You’re experiencing a loss of self-esteem or confidence.
Source: Unsplash If you notice that you’re feeling less sure of yourself or your abilities following a particular event, it could be because your actions didn’t align with your self-image. This kind of disconnect can shake your confidence and make you question your judgement in other areas of life.
11. You’re having trouble forgiving yourself.
Source: Unsplash Finding it hard to let go of what happened? If you’re beating yourself up over a situation long after it’s passed, it might be because you recognise that your behaviour fell short of your own standards. Self-forgiveness can be challenging, but it’s an important step in learning and growing from the experience.
12. You’re noticing a change in how people treat you.
Source: Unsplash If you sense that people are walking on eggshells around you or treating you differently, it could be a reflection of how your behaviour impacted them. While it’s not always easy to face, this change in dynamics can be a pretty telling indicator that your actions had unintended consequences.
13. You’re feeling disconnected from your values.
Source: Unsplash Do you feel like your actions in that moment didn’t represent who you truly are or want to be? The disconnect between your behaviour and your core values can leave you feeling unsettled and disappointed in yourself. It’s often a clear sign that you could have handled things in a way more aligned with your principles.
14. You’re struggling to move on from the situation.
Source: Unsplash If you find that you can’t seem to put the event behind you, and it’s affecting your daily life or relationships, it’s a strong indication that something about your handling of the situation isn’t sitting right with you. The fact that you’re struggling to move forward could point to unresolved feelings or regrets about your actions.
15. You’re hesitant to face similar situations in the future.
Source: Unsplash Feeling anxious or uncertain about how you’ll handle similar situations going forward? This hesitation often comes from a lack of confidence in your ability to navigate these scenarios effectively. It’s a sign that you recognise there’s room for improvement in how you approach such situations.
