Ever get that nagging feeling that a friend isn’t quite what they seem?
It’s not always easy to spot a fake friend, especially when they’re skilled at putting on a good show. They might be fun and charming on the surface, but underneath lies a less genuine connection. However, there are subtle clues and patterns of behaviour that can reveal their true colours. Here are some red flags to watch out for.
1. They only contact you when they need something.
Source: Unsplash A true friend is there for you through thick and thin, not just when they need a favour or a shoulder to cry on. If your “friend” only reaches out when they want something, whether it’s a ride, a loan, or help with a project, it’s a sign that the relationship is one-sided and transactional.
2. They talk behind your back.
Loyalty is a cornerstone of any true friendship. If you find out that your friend talks rubbish about you behind your back, it’s a clear sign that they’re not trustworthy or respectful. A real friend will defend you in your absence and communicate their concerns directly to you, not spread gossip or rumours.
3. They’re always trying to one-up you.
Healthy friendships are based on mutual support and encouragement. If your friend constantly tries to outdo you, belittle your achievements, or make you feel inferior, it’s a sign that they’re more focused on competition than genuine connection. A true friend will celebrate your successes and be happy for you, not jealous or resentful.
4. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Every healthy relationship has boundaries. If your friend consistently disregards your boundaries, whether it’s borrowing things without asking, oversharing personal information, or pushing you to do things you’re not comfortable with, it’s a sign that they don’t respect you or your needs.
5. They’re never there for you when you need them.
Source: Unsplash A true friend is someone you can count on, especially during tough times. If your friend is always unavailable or makes excuses when you need their support, it’s a clear sign that they’re not invested in the friendship. A real friend will be there for you, offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or practical help when you need it most.
6. They make you feel bad about yourself.
True friends uplift and empower each other. If your friend constantly puts you down, makes you feel insecure, or criticises your choices, it’s a toxic dynamic that you don’t need in your life. A real friend will build you up, encourage you, and make you feel good about yourself.
7. They take more than they give.
Friendship should be a two-way street. If you feel like you’re constantly giving more than you’re receiving, whether it’s emotional support, favours, or simply your time and energy, it’s a sign that the relationship is unbalanced. A true friend will reciprocate your efforts and make you feel appreciated.
8. They always have to be right.
Nobody likes a know-it-all. If your friend always insists on being right, refuses to acknowledge your perspective, or dismisses your opinions, it’s a sign that they’re more interested in being validated than having a meaningful conversation. A real friend will value your thoughts and opinions, even if they don’t always agree with them.
9. They’re overly competitive with you.
A little friendly competition can be fun, but if your friend seems overly invested in outdoing you in every aspect of life, it can create tension and resentment. A true friend will be happy for your successes and supportive of your goals, not constantly trying to prove they’re better than you.
10. They put you down in front of other people.
A fake friend might make jokes at your expense in front of other people, point out your flaws, or try to embarrass you. This is a form of bullying, and it’s not acceptable behaviour from someone who claims to be your friend. A real friend will always have your back and defend you, even if they disagree with you in private.
11. They don’t celebrate your achievements.
Source: Unsplash When you share good news or accomplishments with a true friend, they’ll be genuinely happy for you. A fake friend, on the other hand, might downplay your achievements, change the subject, or even seem annoyed or jealous. Their lack of enthusiasm can make you feel unsupported and unappreciated.
12. They’re unreliable and flaky.
Source: Pexels If your friend constantly cancels plans, forgets important dates, or shows up late (if at all), it’s a sign that they don’t prioritise your friendship. A true friend will make an effort to be there for you and respect your time. Their unreliability can make you feel unimportant and undervalued.
13. They always have to be the centre of attention.
Source: Pexels A fake friend might dominate conversations, interrupt you constantly, or try to steer the conversation back to themselves. They’re more interested in being the star of the show than in listening to your stories or supporting your needs. A real friend will be interested in your life and give you the space to share your thoughts and feelings.
14. They don’t apologise when they hurt you.
Source: Unsplash Everyone makes mistakes, but a true friend will own up to their errors and apologise sincerely. A fake friend might make excuses, blame you for their behaviour, or simply brush off your feelings. Their lack of remorse can make you feel hurt and disrespected.
15. Your gut feeling tells you something isn’t right.
Trust your intuition. If you have a nagging feeling that a friend isn’t genuine, there’s probably a reason for it. Your subconscious might be picking up on subtle cues and inconsistencies that your conscious mind hasn’t fully processed. Don’t ignore those feelings. They could be warning you to protect yourself from a toxic friendship.
