Just because your boss runs the show doesn’t always make them right, and sometimes you need to let them know where they’re going wrong.
Of course, you also don’t want to get fired, so you have to tread carefully. When your boss insists something should be done a certain way or claims something happened that didn’t, don’t just sit there and take it. Disagree with them, but do it smartly. Here’s how to do just that — and keep your job.
1. Choose the right time and place.
Timing is important when you’re going to confront your superior. Definitely don’t ring up contentious issues in front of other people or during high-stress moments. Instead, ask for a private meeting when you both have time to discuss the issue calmly and thoroughly. You want to be professional and respectful, and this approach ensures that you are.
2. Start with a positive.
Begin the conversation by acknowledging something positive about your boss’s idea or decision, which sets a constructive tone and shows that you’re not just being contrary. For example, “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this project. I have a few concerns I’d like to discuss if you’re open to it.” If they’re a decent boss, they should be.
3. Use “I” statements.
This is the oldest communication tip in the book, and that’s for a reason. Frame your disagreement in terms of your own perspective rather than making accusatory statements. Say “I have a different view on this” instead of “You’re wrong about this.” It’s far less confrontational and keeps the conversation focused on the issue rather than personal attacks.
4. Back up your position with data.
Come prepared with facts, figures, or examples that support your viewpoint, as it shows that you’ve done your homework and aren’t just disagreeing based on a gut feeling. Presenting concrete evidence can make your argument more compelling and harder to dismiss. That doesn’t mean your boss won’t still dismiss it, but at least you’ve done all you can.
5. Offer alternative solutions.
Don’t just point out problems — come with potential solutions. It’s a good way of showing that you’re thinking proactively and are invested in finding a way forward. It also shows that you’re not just complaining, but actively trying to improve the situation. And hey, you might just come up with an answer they hadn’t even considered before. Gold star for you!
6. Ask questions.
Sometimes, framing your disagreement as a series of questions can be effective. This way, your boss gets to explain their reasoning and might reveal aspects of the situation you weren’t aware of. It can also help them see the flaws in their own logic without you having to point them out directly.
7. Show how your idea aligns with company goals.
It’s a good idea to prove how what you’re saying is in line with what the company wants from its employees or helps achieve goals the company has set for itself. Doing this shows that you’re thinking about the bigger picture and not just your own preferences. Plus, it can help your boss see the value in your perspective.
8. Be open to compromise.
Show willingness to meet in the middle. Maybe there’s a way to incorporate elements of both your idea and your boss’s, so go with that. A bit of flexibility proves that you’re a team player and not just stubbornly sticking to your own view.
9. Use the “yes, and” technique.
Instead of saying “no” or “but”, try using “yes, and”. This technique is borrowed from improv comedy, but it works here because it acknowledges your boss’s idea while building on it or gently steering it in a different direction. It keeps the conversation positive and collaborative, which is really what you want.
10. Express your concerns in terms of risks.
A good way to get your boss’ attention is by pointing out the way their way of doing things could jeopardise the company or a project it’s working on. It shows that your concern comes from a place of wanting to protect the organisation, not from a desire to undermine your boss’s authority. They might be more willing to listen under these circumstances.
11. Acknowledge your boss’s expertise.
While disagreeing, make sure to recognise your boss’s experience and knowledge. This shows respect and can make them more receptive to your ideas — plus, who doesn’t love a good ego stroke? You might say something like, “Given your experience in this area, I’m sure you’ve considered this, but I wondered about…”
12. Use hypothetical scenarios.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to present your disagreement in the form of a hypothetical situation because it can create some distance from the immediate issue and allow for a more objective conversation about the pros and cons. Just be careful not to go too wild with your scenario, or they’ll lose the thread of what you’re trying to say.
13. Follow up in writing.
After your discussion, send a brief email summarising the key points and any agreements you reached during your conversation. This way, you create a record of the conversation and show that you’re committed to moving forward constructively. It also gives you some proof if they reneg on their word!
14. Know when to let it go.
Sometimes, even after presenting your case, your boss may stick with their original decision. Know when to gracefully accept this and move on. Continuing to push after a final decision has been made can damage your working relationship. If you really can’t cope with their way of going about things, you may need to start putting feelers out for another job.
15. Express your commitment to the team.
Source: Unsplash End the conversation with your boss by reaffirming your commitment to the team and the project, regardless of whose idea is ultimately chosen. Doing so reassures your boss that your disagreement isn’t personal and that you’re still a dedicated team player.
