Remember when just seeing your partner walk through the door made your heart skip a beat, or when their texts would make you grin like a teenager?
Those butterfly feelings might not flutter as often these days — that’s just how life goes, and that’s okay — but they’re not gone forever. However, if you want to bring back those warm, fuzzy feelings and fall head over heels all over again, you’ll have to work for it. Here’s how to bring back the spark you know is still smouldering between you.
1. Break out of your routine rut.
We all get stuck in our comfy patterns — same takeaway spot every Friday, same side of the bed, same chat about how work went. Try mixing things up a bit. Take a different route home together, try that quirky new café, or cook something you’ve never attempted before. Even tiny changes can make ordinary moments feel fresh again. When you step out of your usual groove, you start noticing each other in new ways — like seeing your partner’s face light up when they taste something unexpected.
2. Bring back the silly.
Remember when you used to be complete goofballs together? Somewhere between bills and responsibilities, we sometimes forget to just be playful. Have a pillow fight, make up ridiculous dance moves in the kitchen, or start a silly nickname war. Send them memes that make you snort-laugh, or leave funny notes in their lunch box. Being a bit daft together creates those little private jokes that make you feel like it’s just the two of you in on the secret.
3. Get your flirt back.
Start treating each other like you’re still trying to win them over. Shoot them a cheeky wink across the room, send a flirty text while they’re at work, or slide them a handwritten note just because. It might feel a bit cringe at first, but that’s part of the fun. You don’t need smooth pickup lines — sometimes just catching their eye and giving them that same smile you used to use in the early days is enough to make the spark fizz again.
4. Actually listen to their random thoughts.
You know those random things they say while you’re half-watching TV? The weird dream they had, or their theory about why squirrels seem to be plotting something? Instead of just nodding along, tune in properly. Ask questions. Get curious about what’s going on in their head. Sometimes the most mundane conversations turn into the best laughs or deepest chats when you really listen. Plus, it reminds you why you found them so interesting in the first place.
5. Touch more, but not just the obvious way.
We’re not just talking about the bedroom stuff here. Hold hands while watching Netflix, give their shoulder a squeeze when you walk past, or play with their hair while they’re reading. Those little touches that don’t “lead” anywhere are actually super important. They keep you feeling connected even when you’re just doing normal daily stuff. Sometimes a random hug from behind while they’re making tea can feel more intimate than any grand gesture.
6. Get a bit lost together.
There’s something magical about exploring new places, even if it’s just the weird little town next door. Pick a random spot on the map, jump in the car, and see what you find. Maybe you’ll discover the world’s worst coffee or the best antique shop ever. The point isn’t where you end up — it’s about sharing those “what is this place?” moments together. Sometimes getting a bit lost leads to the best stories you’ll laugh about later.
7. Put the phones away properly.
We’re all guilty of the half-listening-while-scrolling thing. Try having proper phone-free time together — chuck them in another room and pretend it’s 1995. Maybe light some candles (fancy or those emergency ones from the drawer), put on some music, and just chat. Or don’t chat at all. Just being present together without the endless ping of notifications can feel surprisingly intimate. You might even remember what your partner’s face looks like without the blue glow of a screen on it.
8. Share the small wins.
Made it through a tough work meeting without falling asleep? Finally figured out how to fold a fitted sheet? Share these tiny victories with each other. Be each other’s biggest cheerleader for the small stuff, not just the big achievements. Getting excited about your partner’s little wins (and having them celebrate yours) creates this bubble of mutual support that makes you feel like a proper team again.
9. Get a bit sweaty together.
No, not just that kind of sweaty (though that’s good too). Try something active together — maybe a dance class where you’ll both be hilariously bad, or a hike where you can both whinge about how far there is to go. When you’re both a bit out of your comfort zone, trying something new, those shared moments of “what have we got ourselves into?” can bring you closer. Plus, exercising together releases all those feel-good chemicals that make you feel more connected.
10. Steal their hobbies for a bit.
Even if you think their passion for vintage stamps is a bit weird, give it a go. Let them teach you about their favourite thing. Ask questions, show interest, and maybe even get involved. You don’t have to become an expert — just showing you care about what lights them up can make them see you differently. And who knows? Maybe collecting stamps is actually kind of cool (but don’t tell them we said that).
11. Create something together.
Build a wonky shelf, plant a garden, cook a meal that’s way too ambitious — just make something together. It doesn’t have to be perfect or even good. The fun is in the process, the mistakes, and maybe the takeaway you order when it all goes wrong. Working on something side by side creates a different kind of connection than just hanging out together.
12. Bring back the mystery.
Sure, they’ve seen you in your manky old PJs with bed hair, but you can still surprise them. Learn a new skill on the sly, dress up for no reason, or plan something unexpected. Keep a few secrets (the good kind) — like a surprise date you’ve planned or a new move you’ve learned for the bedroom. A little mystery keeps things interesting, even after years together.
13. Remember the cringe.
Dig out those old photos from when you first got together. Look at those awful haircuts and questionable fashion choices. Share stories about your most embarrassing early dating moments. Sometimes looking back at how far you’ve come, and laughing about the awkward beginnings, can make you fall in love with your whole journey together all over again.
14. Create new inside jokes.
Inside jokes are like your own secret language of love. They can come from anywhere — a shared disaster at a restaurant, a weird thing you saw at the shops, or just a random comment that made you both laugh way too hard. These little private jokes become part of your story together, and they’re even better when they make absolutely no sense to anyone else.
15. Dream up some future schemes.
Whether it’s planning a dream holiday, imagining your future home, or just fantasising about what you’ll do when you win the lottery — dream together. These don’t have to be serious life plans. Sometimes just letting your imagination run wild together, making each other laugh with increasingly ridiculous ideas, creates a special kind of closeness. Plus, it reminds you that you’ve still got adventures ahead of you.
