We all like to think we’re still as young and carefree as ever, but at some point, reality starts creeping in.
Whether it’s realising you don’t bounce back from nights out like you used to or feeling personally victimised by new technology, there are certain moments that make you question just how “young at heart” you really are. The funny thing is, most of us are in total denial about it. If any of these feel painfully familiar, you might just be resisting the inevitable. How much longer you’ll be able to get away with that is anyone’s guess, of course…
1. You still think of the 90s as “about 10 years ago.”
In your mind, the ’90s were just a couple of years back, and you feel personally attacked every time someone refers to them as “retro.” The idea that anything from your childhood is now considered nostalgic is genuinely distressing. But the worst part? Realising that kids today see the early 2000s the way you used to see the ’70s. It’s enough to make you sit in stunned silence and reconsider everything.
2. You refuse to admit you need reading glasses.
You tell yourself that the lighting in restaurants is just terrible these days, and menus should really use a bigger font. You stretch your phone further away to read texts, but it’s totally normal; it’s just a bad angle today. Deep down, you know the truth: your eyesight isn’t what it used to be. But there’s no way you’re ready to start carrying around a pair of reading glasses like someone’s grandparent. Not yet.
3. You swear new music all sounds the same.
You used to mock your parents for saying this, but now you find yourself grumbling that everything on the charts sounds like “noise.” You hear a song and think, “Is this music, or is someone just mumbling over a beat?” You cling to the belief that your generation’s music was objectively better, and you tell yourself that it’s not you getting older; it’s just that artists today really aren’t as good as they used to be.
4. You get irrationally angry when a shop assistant calls you “sir” or “madam.”
One day, you were just another customer, and the next, some overly polite teenager behind a till dropped a “Can I help you, sir?” on you like a ton of bricks. The betrayal was instant. Sure, they were just being respectful, but in your mind, you’re still young enough to be casually referred to as “mate” or “love.” The moment you get hit with “madam” or “sir,” though, it’s game over.
5. You have very strong opinions about the best supermarket.
There was a time when you didn’t care where your food came from. Now, you could write a dissertation on which supermarket has the best bakery section, which one overcharges for eggs, and which loyalty card actually matters. You’ve also developed a deep loyalty to one particular chain, and if anyone dares question your choice, you will passionately defend it as if you own shares in the company.
6. You can’t leave the house without checking the weather.
Once upon a time, you didn’t give a second thought to the forecast. Now, you won’t even step outside unless you’ve thoroughly checked the app, the Met Office website, and possibly even looked at the sky yourself, just to be sure. Even worse, you’ve started commenting on the weather at least three times a day. If a friend messages you, your first response is, “Bit chilly today, isn’t it?” That’s it. That’s the whole conversation.
7. You find yourself groaning when you stand up.
It’s completely involuntary. You don’t even notice you’re doing it anymore. Sitting down? Groan. Getting up? Bigger groan. Bending over? That’s a two-stage groan. At first, you tell yourself it’s just a one-off — maybe you slept funny or had a tough gym session. But no, this is just your new normal. Welcome to adulthood.
8. You take real joy in getting home before it gets dark.
There was a time when your goal was to stay out as late as possible. Now, your idea of a perfect evening involves being tucked up inside, pyjamas on, tea in hand, well before the sun sets. When you do have to go out late, you start saying things like, “It’ll be nice to get home at a decent hour.” You tell yourself it’s for practical reasons, but really? You just want to be in bed by 10.
9. You get irrationally excited about a good deal on household items.
There was a time when you couldn’t care less about things like washing up liquid or toilet rolls. Now, finding a buy one get one free deal on kitchen roll genuinely makes your day. And let’s not even talk about the pure joy of discovering a high-quality frying pan at half price. You text people about these things. You are now that person.
10. You have a “nice” towel collection that no one is allowed to use.
At some point, you started separating your towels into everyday towels and the good ones. The good ones sit on the rack, untouched, only to be used if guests come over, or in the event of an emergency. If anyone in your household dares to use one for drying the dog or wiping up a spill, you react as if they just committed an unspeakable crime.
11. You get personally offended when someone doesn’t use coasters.
Remember when you used to just put drinks down on whatever surface was available? Those days are long gone. Now, if someone tries to put a mug directly onto your coffee table, you feel it in your soul. You’ve also developed a deep appreciation for a good coaster. Cork? Decent. Slate? Classy. Glass with a little rubber grip? Top-tier coasting.
12. You have a “bad knee” or a “bad back,” and it comes up in conversation more than you’d like to admit.
There was a time when your body just… worked. Now, you have an injury that you can’t quite explain but complain about regularly. It flares up when it rains, you make dramatic sighs when you bend over, and you’ve started talking about it like it’s an old friend. Even worse? You now find yourself giving other people unsolicited advice about their back pain. It’s official. You’ve become the person you used to mock.
13. You get way too into watching house renovation shows.
There was a time when you didn’t care about things like tile choices or property value. Now, you watch people argue over open-plan kitchens like it’s the most gripping drama you’ve ever seen. Not only that, but you start having opinions. You shake your head when they make bad choices, and you say things like, “I wouldn’t have gone for those worktops.” You might not own a house, but you definitely know what you’d do with one.
14. You have a preferred seat in your own house.
You never used to care where you sat. Now, there is one “correct” spot on your sofa, and if someone else is sitting there, it ruins everything. You sit elsewhere, but it’s not the same. You tell yourself it’s just about comfort, but really? You’ve gone full boomer. That’s your seat now.
15. You no longer understand half the slang younger people use.
There was a time when you were “with it.” Now, you hear phrases like “It’s giving…” or “That’s a bit mid!” and feel like you need a translator. You pretend you understand, but really, you’re just waiting for context clues. You told yourself you’d never be the kind of person who doesn’t “get” the latest slang, yet here you are, nodding along while frantically Googling phrases later. And that, my friend, is when you know you’re really in denial.
