Once your kids are adults themselves, they’ll want to sort their own lives out rather than have you trying to dictate their choices.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you don’t still play an important part in their lives or that they don’t want your input. However, you’re better off keeping your advice to these topics unless you want to deal with backlash and resentment.
1. Share your financial mistakes and what you learned from them.
Your adult children are likely grappling with their own money issues. Instead of lecturing them about budgeting, share your own financial missteps. Maybe you racked up credit card debt in your 20s or made a dodgy investment. Be honest about what went wrong and how you fixed it. This real-world experience is far more valuable than generic money advice.
2. Tell them it’s okay to change career paths.
Many young adults feel stuck in jobs they hate, fearing it’s too late to switch gears. Reassure them that it’s never too late to pursue a different career. Share stories of people you know who successfully changed professions later in life. Encourage them to explore their passions, even if it means starting over in a new field.
3. Offer practical tips for maintaining long-term relationships.
Your years of experience in maintaining relationships are invaluable. Share specific strategies that have helped you navigate disagreements or keep the spark alive in your own relationships. Avoid generic advice like “communication is key” — instead, offer concrete examples of how you’ve put this into practise.
4. Give them permission to set boundaries with family.
Adult children often struggle with setting healthy boundaries, especially with family. Let them know it’s okay to say no to family obligations or limit contact with toxic relatives. Share how you’ve managed to set your own boundaries without completely severing ties. This advice can be incredibly freeing for them.
5. Share your experiences with therapy or mental health.
If you’ve ever sought therapy or dealt with mental health issues, be open about it. Many young adults still see mental health care as taboo. By sharing your own experiences, you normalise asking for help and show that it’s a sign of strength, not weakness. This openness can encourage them to prioritise their own mental well-being.
6. Offer guidance on building and maintaining friendships in adulthood.
Making and keeping friends gets tougher as we age. Share your strategies for nurturing friendships amid busy schedules and competing priorities. Maybe you have a monthly dinner club or a standing weekend walk with a mate. These practical tips can help your kids build their own support network.
7. Tell them about your own struggles with work-life balance.
Many young professionals grapple with burnout and overwork. Instead of simply telling them to “work less”, share your own journey with finding balance. Maybe you learned the hard way that constantly prioritising work led to health issues or strained relationships. Your real-life experiences can help them avoid similar pitfalls.
8. Share your regrets about not taking more risks.
If you have regrets about playing it safe in your youth, share them. Maybe you wish you’d travelled more or started that business you always dreamed about. This can encourage your adult children to take calculated risks and pursue their dreams while they’re still young and relatively unencumbered.
9. Offer practical advice on home ownership and maintenance.
For many young adults, the idea of owning and maintaining a home is daunting. Share your experiences with buying property, dealing with mortgages, and tackling home repairs. Offer practical tips like setting aside money for unexpected repairs or how to find reliable tradespeople. This real-world advice is far more valuable than simply telling them to “save up”.
10. Give them permission to make mistakes.
Your adult children may feel immense pressure to have everything figured out. Remind them that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. Share stories of your own blunders and how you bounced back. This can help alleviate their fear of failure and encourage them to take chances.
11. Share your experiences with grief and loss.
Dealing with death and loss is a universal experience, but many young adults feel ill-equipped to handle it. If you’ve navigated the loss of loved ones, share how you coped. Offer practical advice on managing grief, dealing with estates, or supporting friends who are grieving. Your wisdom can be a comforting guide during difficult times.
12. Offer insights on maintaining health as you age.
Your adult children are likely starting to think about long-term health. Share what you’ve learned about staying healthy as you’ve got older. Maybe you’ve found that regular check-ups caught issues early, or that joining a sports club kept you active and social. These practical tips can help them develop good habits now.
13. Give them advice on dealing with difficult colleagues or bosses.
Source: Unsplash Workplace conflicts are common, but many young professionals struggle to navigate them. Share your strategies for dealing with challenging co-workers or unreasonable bosses. Maybe you learned the importance of documenting everything, or found that direct communication resolved most issues. These real-world tactics can be incredibly helpful in their careers.
14. Share your experiences with parenting, if they’re considering it.
Source: Unsplash If your adult children are thinking about starting a family, they probably have a lot of questions and fears. Be honest about your own parenting journey — the joys and the challenges. Share practical advice like how you managed childcare or balanced work and family. Your candid insights can help them make informed decisions about parenthood.
15. Tell them it’s okay to ask for help.
Many young adults feel they need to have everything sorted on their own. Remind them that it’s not just okay, but smart to ask for help when they need it. Share times when reaching out for support — whether to family, friends, or professionals — made a big difference in your life. This advice can encourage them to build a strong support network and not feel like they have to face every challenge alone.
