It hurts to see someone who clearly lacks a backbone.
They’re the ones who constantly back down, avoid confrontation, and let other people walk all over them. While it’s easy to judge, it’s important to remember that these behaviours often stem from deeper insecurities and fears. Recognising these pitiful behaviours in ourselves or other people can be the first step towards changing things and gaining more self-confidence and assurance.
1. They constantly apologise for everything, even when it’s not their fault.
An excessive need to appease people and avoid conflict often drives this behaviour. They apologise for minor inconveniences, unintentional mistakes, or even for simply expressing their opinions. This constant self-blame can be a sign of low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in their own worth.
2. They change their opinions to match whoever they’re with.
These people are like chameleons, adapting their views to fit in with whatever group they happen to be around. This lack of conviction and inability to stand up for their own beliefs can be a sign of insecurity and a fear of rejection or disapproval.
3. They avoid confrontation at all costs, even when it’s necessary.
Conflict can be uncomfortable, but it’s a necessary part of life. People who lack a backbone might go to great lengths to avoid confrontation, even if it means sacrificing their own needs or tolerating unfair treatment. This avoidance can stem from a fear of conflict, a belief that they’re incapable of handling disagreements, or a desire to maintain harmony at any cost.
4. They let people make decisions for them, even about important things.
Whether it’s choosing what to eat for dinner or making major life decisions, people without a backbone might rely on other people to make choices for them. This reliance can stem from a lack of confidence in their own judgment, a fear of making the wrong choice, or a belief that other people know better than they do.
5. They’re easily persuaded and influenced by other people’s opinions.
These people might lack a strong sense of self and easily succumb to peer pressure or the opinions of those they perceive as more authoritative. This can lead to them making choices that go against their own values or interests, simply to avoid rocking the boat or displeasing people.
6. They back down from challenges and give up easily.
Facing obstacles and setbacks is a normal part of life, but people without a backbone might lack the resilience and determination to persevere. They might give up at the first sign of difficulty, avoid taking risks, or settle for less than they deserve out of fear of failure or rejection.
7. They let other people take credit for their work or ideas.
This behaviour can stem from a lack of confidence in their own abilities or a fear of asserting themselves. People who don’t stand up for their own accomplishments might miss out on recognition and opportunities, and let other people benefit from their hard work.
8. They constantly seek approval and validation from other people.
This need for external validation can be a sign of low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth. People who constantly seek approval might base their self-worth on other people’s opinions, leading to a cycle of seeking external validation and feeling inadequate when it’s not received.
9. They gossip and talk behind people’s backs but are all smiles to their faces.
This two-faced behaviour is a classic sign of someone who lacks the courage to address issues directly. They might spread rumours or make snide comments behind closed doors, but lack the integrity to confront the person they have an issue with. This behaviour erodes trust and creates a toxic environment.
10. They are easily manipulated and taken advantage of by people.
Due to their passive nature and aversion to conflict, people without a backbone often become easy targets for manipulation. They might agree to unreasonable requests, lend money they can’t afford to lose, or tolerate disrespectful behaviour, all because they lack the assertiveness to stand up for themselves.
11. They frequently make excuses for their own shortcomings and failures.
Rather than taking responsibility for their mistakes or lack of effort, they’re quick to blame external factors or other people. This lack of accountability prevents them from learning from their mistakes and growing as people.
12. They have difficulty expressing their own needs and desires.
People without a backbone might suppress their own needs and desires in order to avoid conflict or please everyone. This can lead to resentment, frustration, and a feeling of being unheard and unseen.
13. They often go along with the crowd, even when they disagree.
Whether it’s a social setting or a workplace environment, these people might prioritise fitting in over expressing their true opinions. This can lead to them feeling disconnected from their own values and a sense of inauthenticity.
14. They struggle to set boundaries and often overcommit themselves.
Saying “no” can be a major challenge for people without a backbone. They might agree to take on more than they can handle, simply because they don’t want to disappoint people or appear incapable. This can lead to burnout, resentment, and a feeling of being overwhelmed.
15. They lack self-respect and let people treat them like crap.
Perhaps the most pitiful behaviour of all is a lack of self-respect. People without a backbone might tolerate disrespectful behaviour, accept less than they deserve, and let people belittle or demean them. This lack of self-worth can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and prevent them from living a fulfilling life.
