If you’ve spent any time scrolling through profiles and swiping left more than you’re swiping right, you know just how hard it is to find someone decent on dating apps.
It’s not that there aren’t other frustrated single people on them just like you, it’s that there are also a lot of terrible people you’d be better off never exchanging a single message with, let alone going out with. Here are 15 real reasons why finding a match on dating apps can feel a bit like searching for a needle in a haystack.
1. Everyone’s putting up their “highlight reel.”
People tend to showcase the best versions of themselves online – carefully chosen photos, witty bios, and all the accomplishments they think will impress. This doesn’t always line up with who they are in real life, making it hard to get a real sense of someone. When everyone’s striving for perfection, it leaves little room for authenticity.
2. There’s an overload of choice.
With so many profiles to swipe through, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. This abundance of options can lead people to skip over profiles quickly, thinking there’s always someone better around the corner. The “endless scrolling” mindset often leaves people hesitant to commit, even to a first date.
3. Ghosting has become too common.
Dating apps make it easy for people to disappear without a trace, especially when things start getting real. Ghosting leaves you wondering what went wrong and makes it harder to trust new matches. This lack of accountability creates a cycle where connections feel more disposable than meaningful.
4. Everyone’s looking for different things.
Some people are searching for a serious relationship, others are just looking for a casual chat, and some aren’t sure what they want at all. With so many varied intentions, finding someone on the same page can feel like a guessing game. This mismatch in expectations can make things confusing from the start.
5. Algorithms sometimes make strange choices.
Dating app algorithms try to guess your “type” but often miss the mark, showing profiles that don’t quite match your interests or personality. You end up spending time on profiles that don’t really appeal to you, which can make the process feel like a time sink. It’s a reminder that tech can’t always replicate human chemistry.
6. Many people aren’t putting much effort into their profiles.
It’s common to see profiles with just a single photo or bios that are so short they tell you next to nothing. This lack of effort can make it hard to get a sense of who’s really worth your time. After all, if someone isn’t invested enough to write a few words, it’s a tough sell to swipe right.
7. People are getting way too picky.
With so many options, people can start getting hyper-focused on minor details, ruling out matches for things they might not even notice in real life. This level of pickiness can narrow the dating pool fast, leaving fewer matches that actually feel realistic. Being open-minded is sometimes the key to finding good connections.
8. The focus on photos over personality.
Dating apps are often heavily visual, which can put too much emphasis on appearance rather than personality or values. When photos are prioritised, people who don’t “stand out” visually might not get as much attention. The visual-first approach can make it hard for meaningful connections to stand out.
9. People aren’t always upfront about what they want.
Instead of being clear about their intentions, some people leave things vague to attract more matches, hoping to figure it out later. But without clarity, it’s tough to know if someone’s really interested or just “seeing what’s out there.” Being upfront makes it easier for both people to connect honestly.
10. The “grass is greener” mindset.
With so many people available at a swipe, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking someone better is just one swipe away. This mindset often keeps people from investing in a single connection, leading to a cycle of endless searching rather than genuine effort. Finding quality sometimes means committing to the connection right in front of you.
11. Communication isn’t always top-tier.
Not everyone is skilled at messaging, and it shows in dating apps. From one-word answers to awkward conversation starters, getting past “Hey” can sometimes feel like pulling teeth. Without a real conversation, it’s hard for any connection to take off, leaving many chats to fizzle out early.
12. People are afraid of getting hurt.
Source: Unsplash After a few disappointing experiences, it’s common for people to put up walls or avoid getting too attached. This self-protection can come across as disinterest, leading potential matches to pull back as well. Sometimes, letting down your guard is the only way to build something real.
13. Not everyone’s actually single.
Source: Unsplash Unfortunately, there are people on dating apps who aren’t as “available” as they claim to be. Whether they’re still attached or just testing the waters, these people can waste your time and make it harder to trust the next person. It’s a reminder to look for consistency in words and actions.
14. The pressure to be “witty.”
Source: Unsplash There’s often an unspoken pressure to be witty or clever in bios and messages, which can make people feel like they need to perform rather than be themselves. The need to be constantly “on” can keep people from showing their true personalities. Sometimes, sincerity is all it takes to create a real spark.
15. Too many people treat it like a game.
Source: Unsplash For some, dating apps feel like a game, where collecting matches and getting validation is more important than actually building a relationship. When it’s all about the numbers, real connections take a bback seat To find something genuine, it helps to take it seriously and approach it with intention.
