Being open and generous is a wonderful thing, generally speaking.
You’re thoughtful, kind, and willing to go the extra mile for the people you care about. That being said, sometimes being a giver opens the door for people to take advantage of you. It’s not your fault; it’s just that some people see your kindness as a green light to push boundaries. Here are just some of the ways that being a giver can sometimes work against you, and why it’s okay to set limits.
1. You always say yes, even when you’re exhausted.
As a giver, you often say yes to requests, even when you’re running on empty. People get used to your reliability and may not realise how much you’re sacrificing. It’s not that they’re always being malicious—they just assume you’ve got it covered.
2. You prioritise everyone else over yourself.
Source: Unsplash Givers tend to put other people’s needs above their own, often at their own expense. This can lead to neglecting your health and well-being while everyone else enjoys the benefits of your generosity. The saddest part? You might not even notice how much you’re giving up.
3. People expect you to fix their problems.
Because you’re so willing to help, people start treating you like their personal problem solver. They lean on you to clean up their messes, without considering how draining that might be for you. Over time, it can feel less like helping and more like a full-time job.
4. Your kindness isn’t always reciprocated.
Source: Unsplash You give because it’s who you are, but not everyone has the same mindset. Some people take and take without ever thinking to give back. It’s disappointing when you realise the relationship isn’t as balanced as you thought.
5. You attract people who love to take.
Source: Unsplash Unfortunately, being a giver can make you a magnet for people who are more than happy to take advantage. They know you’ll say yes, so they keep asking, often without even feeling guilty about it.
6. You feel guilty saying no.
Source: Unsplash Even when you know you need a break, saying no can feel impossible. That guilt eats away at you, so you end up agreeing to things you shouldn’t, just to avoid disappointing anyone. It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break.
7. Your boundaries are often ignored.
Source: Unsplash If you set boundaries, some people might push past them because they’re used to you giving in. They assume your “no” is negotiable, and you might find yourself bending just to avoid conflict. It’s frustrating when people don’t respect the limits you try to set.
8. People don’t appreciate the effort you put in.
Source: Unsplash You pour your heart and soul into helping people, but sometimes it feels like no one notices. They might take your generosity for granted, forgetting that your time and energy aren’t limitless. It hurts when your efforts go unacknowledged.
9. You’re left out when you need help.
Source: Unsplash When you’re the one who needs support, you might notice that the same people you’ve helped aren’t there for you. It’s a painful reminder that not everyone operates with the same level of care that you do.
10. You’re seen as a “safe” option.
Because you’re kind and non-confrontational, people feel comfortable offloading their problems onto you. While it’s nice to be trusted, it can also feel like you’re carrying everyone else’s baggage, with little space left for your own.
11. You feel drained but keep going anyway.
Being a giver means you often push through exhaustion to keep helping people. Even when you’re emotionally or physically depleted, you struggle to step back because it feels selfish. But burnout is real, and ignoring it only makes things worse.
12. People assume you’re “fine” no matter what.
Because you rarely complain, people might think you’re always okay. They don’t realise how much you’re juggling or how tired you might be. The assumption that you don’t need support can leave you feeling overlooked and invisible.
13. You attract emotionally unavailable people.
Givers often find themselves in relationships or friendships with people who can’t or won’t give back emotionally. They take your support without offering anything meaningful in return, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and drained.
14. You end up doing more than your fair share.
Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in family dynamics, you’re often the one picking up the slack. People rely on your willingness to step up, which can leave you carrying more than your share of the workload. It’s unfair, but it happens far too often.
15. You feel unappreciated more often than not.
Despite your best efforts, it can sometimes feel like no one truly values what you do. Being a giver means you don’t always expect recognition, but it still stings when your contributions go unnoticed. Feeling unappreciated can make even the kindest person question their efforts.
