Narcissists aren’t just nightmares to deal with when they’re in a relationship — they’re even worse after you finally get rid of them.
After a breakup, narcissists don’t just slink back off into the shadows and leave you alone. Sadly, they tend to make things worse by sticking around and playing games in order to keep you under their thumb. Here are a few things you can expect from them long after you kick them to the kerb.
1. They keep the door open for future contact.
Source: Unsplash A narcissist rarely vanishes entirely. Even after the relationship ends, they’ll drop in with a random message or an “oops, wrong text” just to see if they can keep a foot in the door. It’s all about maintaining that thread of control, even if it’s just a tiny one. Expect them to pop up now and again, just when you think you’re finally free.
2. They play the victim to everyone around them.
Narcissists have a knack for flipping the script and making themselves look like the injured party. They’ll tell everyone who will listen about how unfairly they were treated, conveniently omitting their own faults. By casting themselves as the victim, they gain sympathy and make you seem like the bad guy, which helps them feel justified in their actions.
3. They badmouth you to mutual friends.
Don’t be surprised if your mutual friends start hearing all sorts of distorted tales about the relationship. Narcissists need to protect their image, and if that means turning people against you, they won’t hesitate. It’s a way to isolate you further and keep control of the narrative.
4. They exaggerate the breakup to gain sympathy.
To get the attention they crave, narcissists will blow the breakup way out of proportion. Suddenly, what might have been a relatively normal ending becomes a tragic, one-sided tale where they were the ultimate victim. It’s all part of their effort to keep themselves at the centre of everyone’s attention, especially yours.
5. They try to make you jealous with their new partner.
Narcissists are pros at moving on quickly, or at least making it seem that way. You’ll likely see them flaunting their new relationship all over social media, making sure you know they’ve “upgraded.” But remember, it’s not about love — it’s about making you feel like you lost out.
6. They refuse to acknowledge your boundaries.
Boundaries? What boundaries? A narcissist will either ignore them completely or find sneaky ways to cross them. Whether it’s an unexpected text, showing up uninvited, or manipulating people to relay messages, they’ll keep pushing, hoping you’ll eventually let them back in.
7. They use your shared history to manipulate you.
Narcissists love to remind you of the “good times,” making you second-guess whether the breakup was the right call. They’ll twist your shared memories to pull you back in, making you feel guilty for moving on. It’s all part of keeping you emotionally tied to them.
8. They claim they’ve “changed” and want you back.
Out of nowhere, they’ll tell you they’ve done some soul-searching and become a new person. But let’s be real — it’s just another ploy to draw you back in. Narcissists rarely change, and their promises are usually empty attempts to regain control.
9. They try to one-up you post-breakup.
Whether it’s getting a new job, partner, or making a life change, they’ll do everything in their power to “win” the breakup. Narcissists are obsessed with appearances, and they’ll make it seem like they’re thriving just to make you feel like you’re falling behind.
10. They turn your mutual friends against you.
Narcissists are master manipulators, and they’ll go out of their way to make sure your mutual friends see their side of things. They’ll paint a picture where you’re the villain, and they’re the misunderstood, wounded party. The goal is to isolate you and keep control over your shared social circle.
11. They downplay your importance in their life.
Suddenly, the relationship you shared becomes insignificant. They’ll tell anyone who listens that you never meant that much to them, even if they were once obsessed with you. It’s their way of pretending they’ve moved on when, in reality, they haven’t.
12. They pretend they’ve moved on completely.
Even if they’re still thinking about you, a narcissist will go out of their way to act like they’ve fully moved on. They’ll post about their fabulous new life, hoping you’ll see it and feel left behind. But don’t be fooled — it’s all for show.
13. They use social media to get a reaction.
From cryptic posts to over-the-top displays of happiness, narcissists will use social media as a tool to send you messages, even if they never mention you directly. They thrive on attention, and any reaction, good or bad, keeps them in control of the narrative.
14. They ignore you in public.
If you bump into them, expect cold indifference. They’ll act like you don’t exist, which is a classic narcissist move to make you feel insignificant. It’s all part of their power play — making you question your own worth just by pretending you’re invisible.
15. They try to come back when they see you happy.
Source: Unsplash Just when you’re moving on and feeling good, they swoop back in. Narcissists can’t stand seeing you thrive without them. They’ll try to reconnect, not because they’ve changed, but because they hate the idea of you being happy without them.
