The good thing about self-absorbed people is that they tend to tell on themselves.
Their behaviour is so selfish and inappropriate that they’re pretty hard to miss. However, that’s not always the case — some people are a bit more skilled at hiding their self-centredness, which is why you’ll need to put on your detective hat and keep an eye out for these signs. If you notice them, whether with a friend, colleague, or potential partner, they probably don’t care about anyone but themselves.
1. They rarely ask about your life.
They dominate the conversation with their own stories but don’t take the time to ask about your life. It’s not malicious—they just don’t think to. Over time, this lack of curiosity shows that they’re more interested in talking than listening, making it clear where their priorities lie.
2. They give advice you never asked for.
They’ll jump in with their opinions, thinking they’re being helpful, even when you never asked for it. This habit stems from a belief that they always know best, and while it might seem thoughtful at first, it soon becomes clear that it’s more about them wanting to share their wisdom than about you needing it.
3. They can’t handle even a little criticism.
Offer the smallest critique, and they instantly get defensive. Instead of reflecting on what’s said, they make excuses or shift blame to someone else. It’s not just about a fragile ego—it’s also about protecting the image they’ve built for themselves, where they can’t possibly be wrong.
4. They steer group conversations in their favour.
In group settings, they always find a way to subtly push things in their direction. It might seem like they’re taking initiative, but really, they just want to ensure everything aligns with their preferences. If things don’t go their way, they’re quick to show their displeasure, sometimes in passive-aggressive ways.
5. They struggle to connect with other people’s problems.
When you try to share something personal or difficult, they’ll nod along but quickly turn the conversation back to themselves. They might offer generic sympathy, but they rarely dig deeper or try to understand what you’re really going through. Their empathy only goes as far as it doesn’t interfere with their own narrative.
6. They can’t resist name-dropping or bragging.
They’ll casually slip in a mention of someone important they know or bring up their own accomplishments. It’s often irrelevant to the conversation, but it’s their way of elevating their status. Their constant need to remind you of their success or connections becomes exhausting over time.
7. They refuse to admit when they’re wrong.
Source: Unsplash When something goes wrong, they’re quick to dodge responsibility. Instead of owning their mistakes, they make excuses or blame external factors. Admitting fault challenges their need to always appear in control, so they’ll go to great lengths to avoid it, even if it damages relationships.
8. They get bored easily if the focus isn’t on them.
The moment a conversation isn’t about them, they start zoning out. You might notice them checking their phone or subtly trying to shift the topic back to something they’re interested in. It’s not just rudeness—it’s a sign that they have little patience for things that don’t centre around their own world.
9. They interrupt and talk over people without hesitation.
Even when you’re mid-sentence, they’ll cut you off because they’re so eager to share their thoughts. It’s not always malicious, but it shows a lack of awareness and respect for what other people have to say. Over time, this behaviour becomes frustrating, as you realise they value their own voice far more than anyone else’s.
10. They hate compromising.
They always want things their way and rarely budge when compromise is on the table. Whether it’s in friendships, work situations, or romantic relationships, they expect everyone else to adapt to them. This refusal to meet in the middle creates a power imbalance that leaves people feeling like they’re constantly sacrificing.
11. They’re obsessed with their appearance.
Taking care of yourself is one thing, but they take it to an extreme. Whether it’s checking their reflection every chance they get or fishing for compliments, they’re always thinking about how they look. Even in situations where appearance shouldn’t matter, they’ll find a way to make it a focal point.
12. Getting them to celebrate other people’s success is like pulling teeth.
When someone else achieves something, their congratulations feel forced or half-hearted. They’re quick to change the topic or downplay the success, sometimes even comparing it to their own achievements. It’s not just envy—it’s the fear that someone else’s win might take the spotlight away from them.
13. They always bring the conversation back to themselves.
Listen closely, and you’ll notice how often they use words like “I,” “me,” and “my.” No matter what’s being discussed, they find a way to steer it back to their own experiences. It’s not just a habit—it’s a mindset that everything revolves around them.
14. They don’t respect personal boundaries.
They’ll overshare, pry into your personal life, or expect you to accommodate their needs without a second thought. It’s not that they’re intentionally being rude—they’re just so wrapped up in their own world that they don’t notice when they’ve crossed a line. Their lack of awareness can make relationships with them feel draining and invasive.
15. They take things personally — far too easily.
Even the most innocent comment can be twisted into a personal slight. They’re quick to take offence, assuming that everything revolves around them and their feelings. Their sensitivity can make it exhausting to interact with them, as you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to upset them over minor things.
