You’re incredibly clever, but not everyone is going to recognise or acknowledge that.
It’s tough when someone underestimates your intelligence, and that’s putting it lightly. Whether it’s subtle comments or overt behaviour, these moments can leave you feeling pretty terrible. While it’s often a reflection of their own biases or insecurities, recognising the signs this is happening can help you handle the situation with grace and confidence.
1. They explain things you already know in great detail.
Source: Pexels When someone assumes you don’t understand something basic, it can feel patronising. Their “mansplaining” (if you’re a woman and the person in question is a man, of course) or over-explaining often comes from their own need to feel superior, rather than genuinely trying to help. A polite and non-confrontational way to handle this? Smile and say, “I’ve got it, thanks!” You’re not being rude, just gently reminding them that you’re already in the loop.
2. They’re visibly surprised when you offer a good idea.
If someone looks shocked or overly impressed when you contribute something insightful, it’s a clear sign that they didn’t expect much from you. It can be tempting to let their reaction get to you, but remember—you’ve just proven them wrong without even trying. Keep your cool and take pride in the fact that your idea stands on its own merit, regardless of their reaction.
3. They interrupt or talk over you.
Interrupting is a classic sign that someone doesn’t value what you’re saying. It’s frustrating, but it often happens when people underestimate your intelligence or dismiss your input. The next time it happens, calmly assert yourself by saying, “I’d like to finish my thought.” It’s a way to reclaim the floor without escalating the situation. You’re making sure your voice is heard, and you’re doing it without drama.
4. They dumb things down when talking to you.
Using overly simplified language or assuming you can’t grasp complex ideas is another way people can unintentionally or intentionally undermine your intelligence. If this happens often, don’t be afraid to steer the conversation in a more detailed direction. Dive deeper into the topic, show them you can handle it, and let the conversation evolve from there. It’s your chance to shine without saying a word about their assumptions.
5. They’re never interested in your opinion.
If you find that your opinions are consistently overlooked, or you’re left out of important discussions, it’s a sign they might not see you as someone capable of contributing. When this happens, take the initiative to offer your thoughts, unprompted. By doing this, you show them you’ve got valuable input to share, and you don’t need permission to speak up. It’s your chance to demonstrate that your opinion is just as important as anyone else’s.
6. They act surprised by your accomplishments.
When someone says something like, “I didn’t know you were capable of that” or “Wow, that’s impressive for you,” it’s a clear sign that they underestimated you. Instead of letting their surprise discourage you, take it as fuel for your confidence. Their surprise just highlights your achievements and how far you’ve come. Let their reaction remind you of how capable you truly are.
7. They give you overly basic tasks.
If someone assigns you work or tasks that are clearly beneath your skill level, it might mean they think you can’t handle anything more complex. A way to address this is by speaking up in a calm, respectful way: “I’d love to take on something more challenging.” It’s a subtle yet effective way to show that you’re more than capable of handling tougher tasks.
8. They laugh off your ideas.
When people laugh off your ideas as if they’re unimportant or unrealistic, it’s often because they don’t recognise the thought or intelligence behind them. Instead of backing down, stand firm and present evidence or examples to support your idea. If they brush it off again, just know that your ideas stand strong, even if they don’t immediately appreciate them.
9. They over-explain their own ideas to you.
Sometimes, people break down their own thoughts in painstaking detail, as though you couldn’t possibly follow along. A quick, “I get it” can remind them that you’re fully capable of keeping up with the conversation. It’s a simple response that lets them know that you’re listening, and you understand, while also making them rethink their assumption that you might need everything spelled out for you.
10. They attribute your successes to luck.
When someone downplays your success by attributing it to “luck” or a “lucky break,” they’re underestimating the hard work and intelligence that went into it. You can politely correct them by saying something like, “I worked hard for this, but thanks.” This lets them know that success doesn’t just happen by chance—it’s earned.
11. They’re condescending when giving advice.
When someone offers unsolicited advice in a patronising tone, it’s clear they think they know better than you. You don’t have to take their advice if it’s not needed. A simple, “I’ll think about it” or “Thanks, but I’ve got this” shuts down the condescension without causing any unnecessary tension. You’re in control of your own decisions, and they should respect that.
12. They refuse to discuss deep topics with you.
If someone always shifts the conversation away from more intellectual subjects, they’re probably assuming you can’t engage on that level. Take the initiative to bring up a complex topic yourself and jump right into the conversation. It’s a perfect chance to show them that you can hold your own in a discussion, no matter how challenging the subject matter.
13. They ask leading or obvious questions.
When someone asks questions that seem designed to test your knowledge or trap you into admitting ignorance, it’s a clear sign they’re underestimating your intelligence. Answer confidently, and if you need to, redirect the conversation to something more engaging. Your response will make them rethink their assumptions and maybe even respect you a bit more.
14. They point out your mistakes disproportionately.
Everyone makes mistakes, but if someone always points yours out while ignoring their own, they’re trying to undermine your intelligence. Acknowledge your mistake gracefully and then shift the focus back to your successes or positive contributions. This keeps the conversation moving in a positive direction, without letting their undermining behaviour stick.
15. They underestimate your ability to solve problems.
If someone rushes in to help you with a problem or assumes you need assistance before you’ve even asked, it’s a sign they don’t think you can handle challenges on your own. Politely decline their unnecessary help with something like, “I’ve got this, but thanks.” This reinforces your competence and subtly challenges their assumption that you need saving.
