If you’ve ever had a nagging feeling that people aren’t really that fond of you, you might not be wrong.
That’s not because you’re not likeable or that you have no redeeming qualities — you probably are and do — but you might not be showing the best sides of yourself to the world around you. Feeling like no one likes you is devastating, but it’s not irreversible. Here are some signs people aren’t warming to you and what you can do to fix it.
1. Conversations feel like a solo performance.
If you’re the only one asking questions and keeping the conversation going, it can feel like the other person is just waiting for an exit. When people enjoy your company, they usually make an effort to keep things lively, too. Next time, try pausing after you ask something and give them room to ask about you—it’s a small way to see if they’re genuinely interested in the conversation.
2. Invitations are few and far between.
If your friends or coworkers plan things and your invite doesn’t make the cut, it stings. Being left out occasionally is normal, but if it happens a lot, it might be a sign they don’t see you as part of the group. To shift this, try being the one to invite them for coffee or a casual catch-up. Sometimes a simple invite from you can warm things up and make people feel more connected to you.
3. People don’t remember what you tell them.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly re-explaining things you’ve shared, like big life events or details about yourself, it can feel dismissive. People usually remember things that matter to them. Instead of assuming they’re uninterested, try finding ways to connect on mutual interests or memorable topics. When they see how much you value what they share, they might be more likely to return that energy.
4. They don’t make eye contact.
Eye contact is a natural way to show interest and connection. When it’s missing, it can feel like the person isn’t fully engaged. If you sense they’re avoiding eye contact, it’s possible they’re just distracted, but it could also mean they’re not completely comfortable. Start with warm, relaxed eye contact on your end—people often mirror what they see, so this can help open things up naturally.
5. Their body language feels closed off.
Things like crossed arms, turned shoulders, or even leaning away can subtly suggest someone isn’t fully comfortable. Body language often speaks louder than words, so try adjusting your own posture first—open arms, relaxed shoulders, and leaning in a bit can make you appear more inviting, which might help them feel at ease too.
6. They seem distracted all the time.
If they’re often glancing around or checking their phone, it’s easy to feel like you’re not holding their attention. Try mentioning something that directly relates to them or bringing up a topic they’re passionate about to re-capture their interest. A little extra effort to find common ground can go a long way in pulling their focus back.
7. Their responses are a bit too short and sweet.
When people stick to short replies without adding anything to keep the conversation going, it might be a sign they’re not invested. Don’t take it too personally—sometimes, people just don’t realise they’re being a bit distant. Try sharing something personal or funny that gives them an opening to connect on a deeper level. Sometimes, a light-hearted story can help break the ice.
8. They seem tense around you.
When someone’s clearly not relaxed, it often creates an invisible wall between you. If people seem stiff or overly formal, it might just mean they’re nervous or don’t feel totally comfortable. Bringing a bit of humour or lightheartedness can help. A casual joke or friendly comment might be all it takes to ease any tension and get them to relax.
9. They keep skipping out on shared activities.
If people always seem to dodge group plans with you, it could mean they’re not eager to bond. While schedules can get hectic, if this happens a lot, consider focusing on building friendships with people who share your interests. Finding people who are excited about the same things makes it easier to create real connections.
10. You’re the only one making plans.
It’s normal for plans to be a bit one-sided now and then, but if you’re always the one reaching out, it can feel like they’re not that interested. Try giving it some space and seeing if they initiate. Real friendships should feel mutual, so a little distance can be a good way to see who’s genuinely interested in spending time with you.
11. They keep things polite but distant.
If their answers feel surface-level, and you’re not getting much depth, it might be because they’re keeping things at arm’s length. Instead of pushing for more, focus on enjoying light conversation at first. Sometimes, taking the pressure off can lead to more meaningful exchanges naturally.
12. They don’t ask for your input.
When people care about you, they’re usually interested in your opinions and experiences. If they rarely ask for your input, it can feel like they’re not as invested. Instead of waiting to be asked, try offering your thoughts in a natural way. Sometimes people just need a reminder that you have something valuable to share.
13. They avoid physical contact.
Friendly touches, handshakes, or pats on the back show comfort and warmth. If people avoid physical contact, it can feel like they’re creating distance. This isn’t always personal; some people are just less touchy. Try breaking the ice with something simple, like a warm handshake or a friendly nudge, to gauge their comfort level.
14. They don’t show up when it matters.
People who value a friendship typically make the effort to be there for big and small moments. If they’re often cancelling or absent, it might mean they’re not as invested. Instead of trying harder, consider focusing on people who make the effort. Relationships should feel balanced, and finding those who genuinely show up can make all the difference.
15. Your wins don’t get much reaction.
When friends care, they celebrate your achievements with you. If they seem indifferent when you share good news, it can feel deflating. Surround yourself with those who get genuinely happy about your successes—it’s more fulfilling to have a few people who cheer you on than a crowd that barely notices.
