Boundaries are important for healthy relationships — you probably know that by now.
However, when people’s limitations clash with our own ways of doing things or what we want from people, it can be hard not to run right over them (and sadly, a lot of people do that). Here are some signs you’re great at respecting people’s boundaries, no matter how little you understand them or how much of an inconvenience they might be for you.
1. You ask before you hug.
Not everyone’s a hugger, and you get that. Before you go in for the squeeze, you throw out a quick “Hug?” or open your arms questioningly. It’s a small gesture, but it shows you care about personal space and comfort levels. Plus, it avoids those awkward moments when one person’s going for a hug and the other’s stuck in a handshake limbo.
2. You don’t push for explanations when someone says “no”.
When a friend turns down an invitation or someone’s not up for a chat, you take it in stride. No means no, and you don’t need a PowerPoint presentation explaining why. You understand that sometimes people just aren’t up for something, and that’s totally cool with you.
3. You’re a pro at reading the room.
You’ve got a sixth sense for when the energy shifts. If someone’s body language screams, “I’m done with this conversation”, you pick up on it. You’re not the one who keeps chatting away while your friend’s eyes dart desperately towards the exit. You know when it’s time to wrap things up or change the subject.
4. You respect people’s time.
When you make plans, you stick to them. You’re not the one always running 30 minutes late or cancelling at the last minute. And when someone says they’re busy, you don’t try to guilt-trip them into changing their plans. You get that everyone’s time is valuable, including yours.
5. You don’t overshare on social media.
You’re not tagging people in unflattering photos or sharing their personal news without permission. You know that what happens in real life doesn’t always need to end up on the internet. Your friends don’t have to worry about their embarrassing moments becoming your next viral post.
6. You’re okay with different communication styles.
Some people love texting all day, others prefer a phone call once in a blue moon. You roll with it. You don’t get upset if someone’s not a quick replier, and you don’t force your preferred method of communication on anyone else. It’s all about finding that middle ground that works for everyone.
7. You ask for consent in relationships.
Whether it’s a new romantic relationship or a long-term partnership, you’re all about checking in. You don’t assume that one “yes” means “yes” to everything, forever. You know that boundaries can change, and you’re not afraid to have those conversations. It’s all about making sure everyone’s comfortable and on the same page.
8. You don’t pressure people to drink or eat.
Source: Unsplash When someone turns down a drink or passes on dessert, you don’t make a big deal out of it. No “Oh, come on, just one won’t hurt!” from you. You understand that people have their own reasons for their choices, and it’s not your job to change their minds. More cake for you, right?
9. You’re mindful of noise levels.
Whether you’re in your flat or out in public, you’re aware that not everyone wants to hear your music or conversation. You use headphones when appropriate and keep your voice down in shared spaces. Your neighbours probably love you for not blasting heavy metal at 3 AM on a Tuesday.
10. You don’t give unsolicited advice.
When a friend’s venting about a problem, you don’t immediately jump in with solutions (unless they ask for them). You know that sometimes people just want to be heard, not fixed. You’re there to lend an ear, not to play life coach unless specifically requested.
11. You respect people’s personal belongings.
Source: Pexels You don’t rummage through someone’s stuff without asking, even if you’re close friends. No peeking at phone screens or opening cabinets in other people’s homes. You know that everyone’s entitled to their privacy, and you respect that. Your curiosity doesn’t override someone else’s right to privacy.
12. You’re cool with people having different opinions.
Disagree with someone? No problem. You don’t try to force your views on other people or start heated debates at every family dinner. You can have a respectful conversation about differences without it turning into a shouting match. Live and let live is kind of your motto.
13. You don’t gossip or share people’s secrets.
When someone tells you something in confidence, it stays with you. You’re not the one spreading rumours or spilling the beans on your friend’s latest drama. People know they can trust you with their secrets, which probably makes you a great friend to have.
14. You ask before posting photos of people.
Source: Unsplash Before you hit that “share” button, you check if everyone in the photo is cool with it going online. You know that not everyone wants their face plastered all over social media, and you respect that. It’s a small courtesy that goes a long way in showing you care about other people’s comfort and privacy.
15. You’re not afraid to set your own boundaries.
Last but not least, you know that respecting boundaries goes both ways. You’re comfortable expressing your own limits and saying no when you need to. You know that having healthy boundaries yourself helps you respect people’s boundaries, too. It’s all about that give-and-take in relationships.
