Our upbringing shapes us in countless ways, influencing our values, beliefs, and behaviours.
When children grow up without positive role models, certain subtle behaviours may emerge as they navigate life’s challenges. These behaviours aren’t always obvious, but they can offer clues about the lack of guidance and support they experienced during their formative years. Here are some of those under-the-radar behaviours that might indicate a lack of role models during childhood.
1. They struggle with setting healthy boundaries.
Growing up without strong role models can make it difficult to establish healthy boundaries. They might have difficulty saying no, overcommit to please everyone, or let people overstep their personal limits. This can lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, and a lack of control over their own lives.
2. They can’t bring themselves to trust anyone.
Trust is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship, but it can be challenging for those who lacked trustworthy role models during childhood. They might be overly suspicious, have difficulty opening up to people, or fear being betrayed. This can make it difficult to form close relationships and hinder personal growth.
3. They exhibit impulsive behaviour.
Without the guidance of responsible role models, individuals may struggle with impulse control. They might engage in risky behaviours, make rash decisions, or have difficulty delaying gratification. This impulsivity can lead to negative consequences and hinder their ability to achieve long-term goals.
4. They lack self-discipline and struggle with follow-through.
Self-discipline is a learned skill, and without positive examples to follow, it can be difficult to develop. They might struggle to stick to commitments, complete tasks, or maintain healthy habits. This lack of follow-through can lead to missed opportunities and hinder personal and professional success.
5. They have low self-esteem and self-worth.
Positive reinforcement and encouragement from role models play a crucial role in developing a healthy sense of self. Without this support, individuals may internalise negative messages about themselves, leading to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. This can manifest in self-doubt, insecurity, and a fear of failure.
6. They struggle with emotional regulation.
Role models teach us how to identify, express, and manage our emotions in healthy ways. Without this guidance, individuals may struggle to regulate their emotions, leading to outbursts, mood swings, or difficulty coping with stress. This can strain relationships and hinder personal well-being.
7. They lack a clear sense of identity.
Role models help us develop a sense of who we are and what we value. Without positive examples to guide us, it can be difficult to define our own identity and navigate our place in the world. This can lead to confusion, insecurity, and a lack of direction in life.
8. They have difficulty making decisions.
Decision-making skills are often learned through observing and interacting with role models. Without this guidance, individuals may struggle to make decisions, both big and small. They might overthink, second-guess themselves, or avoid making decisions altogether, leading to stagnation and missed opportunities.
9. They struggle to maintain healthy relationships.
Without witnessing healthy relationship dynamics, individuals may struggle to form and maintain healthy connections themselves. They might have unrealistic expectations, difficulty communicating effectively, or exhibit patterns of codependency or possessiveness. This can lead to a string of failed relationships and emotional turmoil.
10. They lack financial literacy and responsibility.
Financial management is a skill that is often learned through observation and guidance from role models. Those who grew up without financial role models might struggle with budgeting, saving, and making sound financial decisions. This can lead to debt, financial instability, and stress.
11. They seek validation through external sources.
Growing up without positive reinforcement and validation from role models can leave a void that individuals may try to fill through external sources, such as social media likes, material possessions, or unhealthy relationships. This constant need for external validation can hinder their ability to develop a strong sense of self-worth.
12. They struggle with setting and achieving goals.
Source: Unsplash Goal-setting and achieving require planning, discipline, and perseverance, skills that are often learned from watching role models navigate challenges and achieve their dreams. Without this guidance, individuals may struggle to set realistic goals, lack the motivation to pursue them, or easily give up in the face of obstacles.
13. They have difficulty expressing their emotions.
Role models teach us how to identify and express our emotions in healthy ways. Those who lacked emotional role models may struggle to understand and articulate their feelings, leading to communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, and difficulty building emotional intimacy in relationships.
14. They lack a sense of purpose or direction in life.
Positive role models inspire us to dream big and pursue our passions. Without this guidance, individuals may feel lost, aimless, or unsure of their path in life. This can lead to dissatisfaction, a lack of fulfilment, and a feeling of being stuck.
15. They have a tendency to blame everyone else for their problems.
Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a sign of maturity and accountability, traits that are often instilled by role models. Those who grew up without such guidance might have a tendency to blame other people for their problems, avoiding personal responsibility and hindering their ability to learn and grow from their experiences.
