Honesty should be at the forefront of relationships of all kinds, but it’s not always easy to be upfront with someone.
If you come off as a bit intimidating, or you have a history of not really reacting well to the plain truth, it’s only natural that people would be hesitant to be frank with you. If you notice people doing these things around you, chances are, they don’t feel comfortable being honest with you, and that’s a problem.
1. They give vague answers.
When people don’t feel comfortable being honest, their responses often lack detail. You might ask how they’re doing, and they respond with a generic, “Oh, fine.” It’s not that they don’t want to answer—it’s that they’re unsure how you’ll react. Vague replies are their way of staying safe without revealing too much.
2. They avoid serious conversations.
If someone changes the subject when things get real, it might mean they’re uncomfortable sharing their true thoughts. They’ll steer the discussion toward lighter topics like the weather or their latest TV binge. They’re not disinterested; they’re trying to get around having to be vulnerable. They may worry about how their honesty will be received.
3. They hesitate before speaking.
Source: Unsplash A noticeable pause before they answer can signal they’re choosing their words carefully. It’s not always a bad thing, but it can mean they’re filtering themselves to avoid potential conflict. That little hesitation speaks volumes—they’re calculating what feels “safe” to share. It’s their way of testing the waters before diving in.
4. They laugh off serious remarks.
Source: Unsplash Turning something serious into a joke is a classic way to deflect. They might say something honest but immediately laugh or downplay it, hoping you won’t take it too seriously. It’s a subtle way of testing your reaction without fully committing to vulnerability. Humour becomes their shield in moments of discomfort.
5. They agree with you too quickly.
Source: Unsplash When someone always says, “You’re right!” or “I totally agree,” it could mean they’re avoiding disagreement. Over-agreeing often masks an unwillingness to share their true thoughts. They might feel it’s easier to keep the peace than risk an honest debate. Genuine conversations thrive on differing perspectives, not constant agreement.
6. They avoid eye contact during tough topics.
Source: Unsplash Looking away when discussing something serious can signal discomfort. They might feel vulnerable or unsure how you’ll react to the truth. Avoiding eye contact isn’t always intentional; it’s often a subconscious sign of their unease. It’s their way of protecting themselves while still engaging in the conversation.
7. They give overly polite responses.
Source: Unsplash When people feel they can’t be honest, their answers might sound a little too polished. They’ll stick to safe, polite replies like, “Everything’s great!” or “No problem at all!” It’s easier to stick to pleasantries than dive into deeper truths. Politeness becomes their way of keeping things comfortable and conflict-free.
8. They avoid asking for your opinion.
Source: Unsplash If someone doesn’t feel they can be honest with you, they might avoid asking for your input altogether. They steer clear of conversations where your opinion might differ from theirs, which can create a noticeable distance in your interactions. Asking for opinions often reflects trust, so its absence speaks volumes.
9. They deflect with compliments.
Source: Unsplash If someone feels uncomfortable being honest, they might distract you with praise. “You’re always so understanding” or “You handled that so well” might seem sweet, but it could be a tactic to steer the focus away from their true thoughts. Compliments become a subtle way to shift the dynamic and keep things light.
10. They avoid one-on-one interactions.
Source: Unsplash People who don’t feel they can be open might prefer group settings where the pressure to share is less intense. In a group, they can blend in without fear of being singled out. Avoiding one-on-one time helps them dodge deeper conversations where honesty might be expected. It’s easier to stay in the crowd than face potential vulnerability.
11. They rarely share personal stories.
Source: Unsplash Someone hesitant to be honest will keep their stories surface-level, avoiding details that reveal too much. They might talk about their day but skip over anything meaningful or emotional. The lack of depth often indicates they’re holding back for fear of being judged or misunderstood. Keeping it light helps them feel safe.
12. They change their stance frequently.
Source: Unsplash If someone shifts their opinion mid-conversation, it might mean they’re not comfortable expressing their true thoughts. They’ll adjust their views to align with yours, even if it contradicts what they initially said. All that flip-flopping is often a sign they’re prioritising harmony over honesty. They’d rather avoid conflict than stand by their opinion.
13. They seem overly careful with their words.
Source: Unsplash Carefully choosing every word can indicate someone is walking on eggshells. They might feel like saying the wrong thing will lead to tension or misunderstanding. Their caution comes from a fear of being misinterpreted or judged. It’s not that they don’t want to share—it’s that they’re unsure how their honesty will land.
14. They often say, “It’s fine” or “Don’t worry about it.”
Source: Unsplash These phrases are classic deflections, used when someone doesn’t want to dive deeper into how they’re feeling. It’s easier to brush things off than risk an honest conversation. “It’s fine” often means the opposite but feels safer than admitting the truth. They might hope you’ll let it go without pressing further.
15. They avoid revisiting past conversations.
When someone isn’t comfortable being honest, they’ll steer clear of topics that felt awkward or unresolved. They don’t want to rehash moments where they couldn’t fully open up. Avoiding these conversations helps them sidestep discomfort, even if it leaves things unaddressed. Their silence on these topics speaks louder than words.
